The Simplest Way To Boost Your Confidence!

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF, and be proud of it!

But that is never easy to do, perhaps because of past hurt, disappointment, neglect or rejection, which makes it important to understand the reasons for lack of confidence. This stems primarily from the following causes:

• A lack of self-acceptance; feeling bad about how you look, or specific body parts.
• A desire for approval whenever you meet anyone you might be trying to impress. Problems come when that approval isn't given and then you feel worse, and less than worthy.
• The need to copy others, or to let them guide your life so that you become a caricature of other people, instead of being proud of yourself as an original.
• Having little self-belief, you would be driven by fear instead of positivity; feeling inadequate for what you have to do, and belittling your own efforts.

From those reasons, you can see that improving your self-confidence is not an easy thing to do. There is no manual on how to do it, and even the experts disagree on what confidence is and its origins. However, the essence of self-confidence is SELF-LOVE and reaching out to others. It isn’t self-centredness in a selfish way. It is both appreciation of the unique beings we are, and of others in our life.

Acknowledging that fact means you can begin to be authentic by addressing the following five simple, but important, actions.

1. Face Your Fears. Make a list of the major problems in your life right now, then list ways to improve or change them. Start from simple to hard options, ones that you can do at this moment, not tomorrow. Things are never really as bad as you think they are. Chances are that not all of your problems can be dealt with easily or quickly because they might involve others. But unless you change, no one else will, so it is still your responsibility to confront or address your problems. There will be some areas where you can take immediate action. Start with those, because resolving the smaller irritations will give you the satisfaction, the reinforcement and the courage to move on to the bigger ones.

2. Self-Encouragement: Talking to others and yourself, particularly as you look in the mirror every morning, is one of the most effective ways of boosting your confidence, especially to avoid negativity around you. Substituting anxiety with something positive like: ‘I am a very talented person, I just need the courage to show it!’ (said with the biggest smile of appreciation, too!). It might sound very strange the first morning you try it. But you’d be surprised how it really affirms self-love and sets you up for the day to beat the brickbats you will definitely get from elsewhere, including those from your loved ones. If you don’t appreciate yourself fully, how can you expect others to do it? They cannot value what you reject.

3. Aim for Excellence, not Perfection, in whatever you do: Another approach is that when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that it is infinitely more rewarding to do something well than to do it perfectly because, in that way, you can always improve on it with greater knowledge and maturity. This allows you to accept yourself as you are while constantly striving to improve your skills and fulfil your potential. Above all, reward and praise yourself when you have done well. If no one ever does that, including yourself, you will never feel valued. When we are obsessed with perfection we live constantly in the future of nothingness and wishes, while ignoring the substance and joy of the present, hence we are likely to feel inadequate.

4. Live in the Present. There is nothing happening back there. That door is firmly closed now because the past exists only inside our heads. Nowhere else. There is no harm in remembering fond memories which make you feel good, but ditch the nasty ones. Past activities are already history and we can’t change history. We can only appreciate it, reminisce on it, assess it, or celebrate it. We have to accept it and look to the future, especially if we value our lives. Welcome change, make it work for you, even if, initially, you can’t see its value. The change is going to happen with or without you, anyway.

5. Loosen Up. If you have ever had a near death experience, you will immediately appreciate the value of this statement. Once our lives are in grave danger, everything else pales into insignificance. Suddenly, things that used to matter become trivial as our priorities change. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. Let your hair down and enjoy yourself sometimes. Today could be your last! Don’t look like a failure by being morose and gloomy. There is always someone worse off than you are. Above all, people dislike those who have no humour, those who are constantly negative as though they are the only ones with problems. That attitude achieves nothing and keeps you feeling low. In fact, if you want to scatter a crowd fast, just call in some miserable people!

You only have to think of someone you know who is disabled, very ill, deprived or even dead, and that should put your own life in perspective; to show you how fortunate you are. Problems make you stronger if you strive to overcome them. That is the whole point of your resolve being tested by your circumstances. In fact, to overcome hurdles and survive is the essence of life. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you will always be unhappy, which will reduce the positive aura around you.

Try these simple tips today for a more authentic you and see the difference in your own feelings and interactions.

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