The Showman

The Showman Story by Katherine Aguilar

This Story is about Arturo Aguilar

My father's family has been in Los Ebanos, Texas, for"  generations.  So much so, the Graveyard cemetery in Los Ebanos turned into a family cemetery. You see Aguilar Graves in the cemetery. I don't even think another family can squeeze itself in. Daddy came from a family of nine children. His mother and father are very hard workers. His mother worked hard raising the children, and his father worked at the Caliche Pit. They were strict. They loved their children and taught them to work hard and strive for improvement.  He wasn't very keen on this idea. He dropped out of school. He wanted to be free to do nothing. But hang out all night doing nothing and sleep all day. He even got his younger brother to join him. 

Well, his parents said enough of this, out you go.

Daddy had one big Flaw.  It was his weakness that ultimately became a strength. Go figure? How can lying be a strength? Leave it to daddy. He found away. He wanted to live a good life.  His charisma and presentation.

There was a gap of time before he met my mother. He drifted from job to job. 

Then his sister, Lydia, introduced me to my mother, and she was sold on Daddy's words and presentation. She felt it was time for her to get married. She wanted a big wedding. Who has a Big Wedding with no money?

With mother's ingenuity and daddy's charisma.  The only item Daddy paid for was mothers dress. They had so many godfathers and godmothers. Which, in today's terms, are called (sponsors). You see the wedding pictures, you would think it was royalty getting married.

After the big show was over. The reality set in. They moved to Dallas.  Mother realized pretty soon what she had gotten into. She worked day and night. While daddy still wanted to live the free life.  Mother's sister went to live with her to help.  Mother had finally had enough. So Daddy, using his charm and charisma, made friends with the owner of the dry cleaners. He was able to get them to pay to help him get his Beauty and Hair license. He had told the Dry Cleaner Owner if you pay for my certification, I will do your hair 'Free for Life!" That sounded like a good deal for her. She accepted.Daddy worked in fine salons. He did wonders with the woman's hair. With the gift of his presentations and stories.   He had ladies waiting in line, saying. " I want Arturo to do my hair!" At the time, even Governor Benson's wife had hers done by her daddy. So my mother was content during this time. Not fully happy but content. She had my brother. My father was happy. He had a son. To carry on the Aguilar name. His family was happy with him. For they felt that Arturo had finally settled down. Daddy loved being Aguilar a lot. Mother's contentment didn't last too long. Now she had two children and one big child to take care of. Daddy didn't know how to be a parent. To daddy, most people who have a baby for the first time don't know what to do. My Mothers sister came to live in Dallas and helped.  After my mother had my brother, she was done. She was ready to get out of the mess she was in. The surprise! I was the unexpected child.  By the time my mother had me, the marriage was over.

Daddy decided to try to fix his mess; he got a storekeeper to rent him a store on Fitzhugh.  He promised "Free Hair Cuts for Life".

Wa La! "ARTUROS BEAUTY SALON" is born.

The Salon was not in a great part of Dallas.  He had a way of turning a toilet into a palace. He had a keen eye for decorating. Ladies would go to the Salon and ask, "How much does the haircut and style cost?" They would open their purse, show him their wallet, and he would look and say, " You have enough!" Then he would take all they had. But when that lady left, she felt and looked like a queen. Even "Arturo's Salon". Was open. The marriage was over. Mother never kept Daddy from seeing us.  I learned to be an observer early on in my childhood. Years passed, and we didn't see Daddy.  As for me, it didn't affect me much because I was the last of the children. It may have bothered my siblings more. I never really asked them.  Then one day, Daddy pops up. I think I was ten or 11. I don't even remember.  He is asking his mother for another chance.  Now we had been pretty used to being without him in our lives, so we were set. Mother felt she wanted us to have a father.  "ARTURO BEAUTY SALON" was closed. He got tired of cutting and styling hair.  The drive to live the life he wanted was too strong.  So now daddy is back. Mother wants to do the right thing and get married again. They go to the Priest, and the priest tells the mother, Don't get married. He won't change, just live together.I think Daddy lived with us for a year. I can't even remember. It was one of the most stressful times in my life and one of the craziest times of our childhood lives. It is also one of the Most Valuable learning times in my life. Daddy drove me up the wall. He wanted a free life. I was not going to let him have it.  I would argue about his not working. He would try to use his presentation and charisma on me.  I wasn't buying it, so I went to work. He would tell me I was harsh.  I got on his nerves out of the three of us. All I saw was my mother working and working.  When he walked in the room, everyone knew "Arturo is here!" Everyone wanted to be around him and hear what he had to say. He had the gift of telling stories and using words. Family, friends, and strangers loved it. They ate it up and couldn't get enough of it. He still didn't know how to be a parent. Here is where the craziness comes in.  Daddy was always trying to find a way to make money or say he was the Boss. So as a family outing, we went to the Aggie Feed Store and bought chickens.  Now, where we lived, it was pretty much too close to Downtown Dallas near the Zoo in Oak Cliff.  So, to the neighbor's surprise. They woke up to the sound of roosters and saw chickens in the backyard. I am sure they said, " There goes the neighborhood". We were the only Hispanics in an African American neighborhood. We had chicken all over the place in the backyard.  It was as if it were the beginning of the Zoo in the backyard. Daddy wanted us to have the chickens to lay eggs, and we sold the eggs. I don't think one egg came out of any chicken. Since the chickens didn't lay eggs. Daddy comes with ducks.  We go on another Family outing to Aggies feed store and buy rabbits. Oh my goodness, the yard had so many rabbits.  All that Daddy had in His mind was a business.  Now, as children, we thought that was pretty crazy. Because now we had the responsibility of feeding all these animals.  Mother would have Daddy take us to school.  Many times, he wouldn't take us to school.  We had many days like this outing. This one was one of the ones that stood out.I think this was one of our last outings together with Daddy. We went to a cattle auction.  Yes, we were at the auction. He bid on a bull and calf. Well, he won. To be honest, I am not even sure how we got the bull to the house. It was another shocker to the neighbors. Mother had gotten onto Daddy for us missing school. She heard a Moo.  She looks out the window and sees a calf and a bull. I have forgotten to mention that we also had a goat. I do believe mother was getting overwhelmed by now with daddy being at the house. I was pretty stressed.  At times, we had our little Zoo in the backyard. Daddy had started another business selling new jeans and shoes.  The house was packed with them.  We would watch how he talked to people he met. They loved every word he had to say. Still at this time. My stress level was pretty high at this time.  This, I could tell, was testing my mother's nerves. Still kept strong.

Daddy knew his faults. He wasn't blind to them. Amid all the craziness, he would pop out words of wisdom. Or at the time, he didn't know they were wise. They did turn into key points to remember. He would say Mija, get your teaching certificate. He said, " I have no education, but you get yours". He said it over and over again. As I write. I don't have my teaching certificate. But I work in education. Most of his siblings have been teachers, counselors, etc, in education in South Texas. The Aguilar Tree has its mark in South Texas education and in Politics. He wanted us to know the Aguilar family so badly. He ensured we met all our aunts and uncles. There were moments when he would have a conversation and say something that would catch our attention. 

1- I do remember one time. He said, "Mija, I have nothing to offer you". I was the most critical of my siblings towards my father. After he said it. I shifted how I looked at the time he was living with us. It didn't mean he didn't get on my nerves. From that day forward, I set the bar so low for my father. That he never failed me.

2- I remember one day I said, " Are we going to see Lydia?" He said, " No mija, it is Tia Lydia". He said it is Tia and Tia and Tio when you talk about your aunts and uncles. They deserve respect.3- He would be talking. Telling one 's story. I listened, but I didn't listen. When he was finished. The most valuable thing about the whole thing. He said, " Talk is cheap. You can buy anything you want with it, and it is free". You have the right presentation and charisma; they will all buy it. He would tell people he lived in Connecticut. He went on and on about Connecticut. The person would be so involved in the conversation about Connecticut. They would buy Daddy coffee. I am sure all those people he told he lived in Connecticut are dead. Daddy never lived in Connecticut. 

4-  My father never drank. His problem. He smoked his Winston Reds 100. I hated it. One day, he was smoking. I rolled up the windows in the pickup truck. The inside of the truck was filled with cigarette smoke. He said, "Mija, I can't breathe; there is too much smoke." My answer to him was, " So, how do you think I feel now?" When you smoke. He didn't answer. Because of his smoking. I haven't picked up a cigarette or even cared to try. 

5- He showed there was always a way to make money.6 He always pointed out how family was important, regardless of how they felt towards you. Do something for the Aguilar name. There are some more key phrases he would say. I think Daddy could have a book all on his own. If I put all the stories of daddy's time with us in Oak Cliff. He did finally get on my last nerve in Oak Cliff. Yes, I am eleven or twelve years old. I had had enough. We argued. I say, " I am leaving." I opened the door, and as he walked out the door. I said, " Daddy, may God be with you on your life's Journey." I closed the door. He did go to talk to my mother later. I told her no more. Enough.

Years passed.  I didn't hate my father; I loved him. Even to this day. I can laugh about the stupidity of the things we would go and do with him. As I started writing about the Zoo we had in the backyard. I started laughing. If I have written everything about the Zoo. It would have been four chapters alone. I only wrote a sample. A gap in time since we didn't see Daddy. But in truth, I wasn't worried about Daddy.  I knew I was being a daddy. A few years before he died. He took me to lunch at a little diner. He said, "Mija, I am sorry." I said for what? He said, " I failed you as a father." I told him. " No, you didn't." I said, "You taught me everything I didn't want.  Which is very valuable." I told him I loved him. We finished lunch. He knew I held nothing against him. A few years later. We heard Daddy was sick. Mother and I visited. We walked into his trailer. The way he was dressed, I almost started laughing, not because he was sick. But he was wearing a beanie and a black long pajamas. He was still being daddy.  He is selling a healing drink to people. I couldn't believe it. A daddy is dying, and he is selling treats to other people. He called himself Don Arturo, the internal healer. All he was selling was a detox of the bowels. To get internal healing. After all these years, Day was still doing the same thing. No longer younger. He still had his charisma. People were still willing to buy it. Mother and he talked. While I gave him a shoulder massage to release his pain. The massage made him very happy.  I reminded him. He never failed me, and may God bless him in his next life. 

To this day. Not even a month back. I shared something my father said. There are three of us. I am sure.  I am not the only one of us who has used a phrase daddy said all those years back. Daddy didn't think he had anything to teach his children. In truth, he taught us a lot. So if you have issues with parents. Or if you put them so high on a pedestal. Which they know they can't even reach. Bring the bar down some and reach them where they are at. It will change your relationship with them.