The Abandon Aunt

The Abandon Aunt by Katherine Aguilar

 This Story begins in the 1980s. With Mother praying to God to find someone she could help.

If people do not think God answers prayers. You are WRONG. He answered. He told her to go to Fair Park Nursing Home, and you will find someone.

If you have never been to Fair Park, it is located in the Southern part of Dallas. It is predominantly African American.  The economics are not at the highest level. Nice people live in the Southern part of Dallas if you stop and look.

Fair Park Nursing Home is located in South Dallas.  It is the lowest-level Nursing Home owned by the State of Texas, at least that is what it was at the time. 

When you walked into the Nursing Home, it smelled of old urine and a lot of sad African Americans.  Looking around, wondering," What did I do wrong to end up here. Chances are, a family member took all they had and abandoned them. Never to return. 

I am setting this up to help you visualize what Francis walks into for the next 25 or 30 years of her life. 

How Francis Perez had lived on the Northern side of Dallas. Her husband worked for the railroad. She had no children. So when her husband died, she was very sad and helped her brother's family. It was a bit nerve-racking to deal with while also mourning the loss of her husband.  

Her brother took the little money Francis and her husband had saved and dropped her off at Terrell State hospital like a dog and told them she was "crazy". From there forward, he never looked back. France was in her late 50s or early 60s.  Yes, she was sad and a little depressed, but not out of the norm for a person who lost their husband.  The doctors told Francis, "You are not crazy. You don't even need medication. You are fine. You can go home.  They called her brother to go pick her up. He said he didn't know her.  The hospital sent letters and tried every contact they had to find someone to take Francis.  But nobody wanted Francis.  

She now became the ward of the State of Texas. Since she had no money, she was sent to Fair Park Nursing Home.

Francis was a simple and quiet woman who spoke no English.  Imagine Francis walking into Fair Park Nursing home. Taking the long walk down the hall to the check-in.  With a look of fear and despair on her face. Her thoughts may have been racing, thinking "What did I do so wrong to her family to get her put in a Nursing home for 25 or 30 years.  

Can you even imagine the Charge Nurse's face when Frances walked in?  Looking at Francis, with the look of what she was going to do.   Especially since NOBODY spoke Spanish.  

I have set the setting for you.  Where we enter into the story of Francis' life.   Mother went and asked the Charge Nurse if there was someone there, but NOBODY visited.  Even the Charge Nurse felt sorry for Francis.  She had told Mother she had a lady nobody had visited for 10 years. Since she started working at the Nursing home. That lady was Francis. 

Mother found Francis praying on her rocking chair with a rosary. Praying. She saw Mother and started crying. She had told Mother in Spanish that she had been praying to God every day and all day for someone to go visit her.  She was so happy someone had finally come to visit her. From there forward, Francis was a part of our lives for years. She spent the weekends with us and went on picnics with us, doing everything we did. We included Francis. Francis' life spilled over to my aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. Francis was a part of our lives until she died. 

She had become our Adopted Grandma. If Francis were not with us, someone would ask. " We need to go get Francis."  There was only one person who was a bit jealous of Francis, and that was Grandma, my Mothers mother. Grandma wanted to be the only grandma. 

Francis had her funeral plan. She bought the cheapest casket, which was sky blue. She wanted to be buried in a Franciscan robe. She hadn't requested a service. Since she believed nobody would come to her funeral.

We wanted ALL! Of Francis's family to show up to her funeral to give Francis the respect she deserved.  A plan of action was created. Francis had a little money in her account at the nursing home, and we were going to make sure ALL of it was spent on Francis's funeral. We knew the family would finally show up and take whatever she had left. We made sure only 10 dollars was left. 

We put the obituary together and listed our names. Putting the key sentence in bold print. " Other Family members' location UNKNOWN. An UNDISCLOSED AMOUNT LEFT. 

We knew where her family was, and we made sure they read the obituary. 

As you may guess, the phone started ringing. Her brother called Mother and asked what he could do for Francis's funeral. He had shown up at the funeral home with his Royalex and Jaguar.  We found out Francis's brother owned five liquor Stores across Dallas.  He wanted a part of the big payday at the end. My Mother or my sister told him that Francis wanted a Singer, an organist player, flowers, and cards. Finally, we told him Francis wanted a mass. Remember, we left only 10.  We made sure to make him PAY! Francis had been so beautiful. All the family that couldn't be found all those years ago. Showed up. There were at least four or five pews full of her family members.  

We were pretty disgusted when we saw them. One asked me, "Please tell me about Francis?"

I thought to myself. After all these years, you now want to know about Francis.  I did the Eulogy. I started with the very sentence.  Saying one of Francis's Family members asked about Francis.  I remember this like it was yesterday.

" You want to know about Francis. Go to any State home Nursing Home and find an abandoned, lonely woman who doesn't speak English. Who prays day and night for someone to visit her. Thereafter, 10 years later, someone finally did "  By the time I was finished with the Eulogy. The Priest was crying.  He didn't know Francis.  Still, he looked at the family," like how could you do that to Francis?". 

We wanted them to see where Francis lived all those 30 years. We wanted them to walk down the hall.  To soak it all in. We told them the undisclosed amount of money.  Was at the Charge Nurses station at the funeral. It couldn't be looked into until after the funeral.  

The service was over. It seemed like there was another procession going on. This disgusted us even more. Part of it was with my aunt in her car, parked across the street to see the craziness. From our end across the street. People were running in with proof of family papers. Yes, we did laugh. My mother and cousin. She was little at the time. She had long, light brown hair.  Mother gave them the FairPark Tour.  She wanted them to soak it  ALL IN.  Then she finally took them to the front desk, where the Charge Nurse was sitting, and she told her. " Here is Francis' family. They are here for the money that Francis left."  My cousin and mother ran out of the Nursing Home. We could see my cousin's ponytail as she ran. Even my mother picked up the pace.  We drove off happy because we had given Francis what she finally wanted. Her family will go and visit her. The Charge Nurse called and said the family was fighting over Francis's underwear. " I can't help but laugh at this moment of writing.  They wanted whatever they could get. They wanted her rocking chair. But the Charge Nurse didn't give it to them. She said it belonged to Mother.  They asked about the money. Then the Charge Nurse told them. It was only 10 dollars. The brother did call later, crying, telling her he missed Francis. Mother hung up on him.  The family tried again. We didn't answer. My family has shared stories about Francis with others.

While families grow and change. DO NOT!  Forget the beginning of how you got there or who was with you when you began.

If all your focus is on money in your life. You will spend your life chasing money and end up with someone taking all you have.  

Ending up like Francis. So keep that in mind as you look towards your future.  Love your family unconditionally.