The Roller Coaster Tycoon

P.1 GOOD-BYE, FOR NOW.

The house is colder than usual today. Earlier this morning, I watched from the entrance of the airport's security cue as my wife and daughter went through it without me. I stood there for a moment, dreaming of the day I could afford to go away with them whenever I pleased. They had to go back east on bereavement; a justifiable domestic flight during a global pandemic. To make this trip worth the inherent risk, they will be out of town for a while. I intend to make the most of this time alone. Maybe I’ll start a home workout regiment or finish a couple of books I’ve been meaning to.

It’s odd to go from being a full-time parent and husband to completely alone. It’s reminding me how much I don't enjoy cooking meals for myself. I’ve also discovered my idling mind is anxiety-inducing. I need a project. A task I can chip away at until my responsibilities take back this time. Something unrelated to my work but will make me feel accomplished. I like that feeling. The current routine I have set up calls for this time to occupy my late afternoons. Scheduling my days down to the minute frees me. I’ll spend this evening thinking about it while I watch a movie.

P.2 SOLITUDE

Later that evening, I thought about what I would have done with this time before the virus made casual human interaction unsafe. I scrolled to the top of my photo album to see images of the good old days or as some like to call it B.C. (Before Covid). At first glance, they reminded me of how much I missed being with other humans. I never took them for granted then but now longed for the day I could hug a friend again. A group photo of my wife and I — alongside my closest friends, sparked a memory from its location. Canada’s Wonderland, an amusement park just outside of Toronto. The date stamp reminded me of how young we all were then and how long it’s been since I’ve been on a rollercoaster. I recalled the thrill of free-falling at 90° and then thought about how long it might be until I could feel that force of wind again. What if I didn’t have to wait at all? What if I could build a rollercoaster for myself? I pictured myself sitting on my roof in a homemade cart. Thinking about my life-insurance policy as I strapped on a helmet, preparing to launch myself down a rickety 45° wooden track to the earth. Then a more reasonable thought crossed my mind. What if I build a more scaled-down version? One I could still start on the roof, but would then enter my bedroom window and end at my front door. I could even mount a camera to the front of the cart to capture the thrill of my miniature passengers!

P3. THE ROLLER COASTER

Projects begin with a plan and this one was no different. Today, I started by watching videos of existing roller coasters; some of which I’ve had the pleasure of riding myself. I grabbed my little black notebook to make notes of the elements I enjoyed. Massive lift hills, helixes, camelbacks, loops, double dips, bank turns, hammerheads, cobra rolls, etc. All of which, I incorporated into my design. I sketched it out section by section, combining these elements in such a way that led the coaster in and out each dwelling. At this point, I purposely ignored the engineering aspect to let my internal architect sketch unchecked. I began to see every square inch of my house as a potential point of thrill.

Now that I’ve completed the initial phases of my coasters design, I need to start testing. Mounting the track without obstructing the cart will be a challenge. Mulling over a few options, I hypothesize flexible PVC tubing will be the best miniature track constructing material. It’s lightweight enough to transport and thin enough to cut and modify with relative ease. The tentative plan is to mount the cart to the track on cylindrical bearings. I will test a couple of configurations to find the right bearing to tubing size ratio that will propel my dream machine to optimal breakneck speeds — while also staying intact. I’m off to the hardware store with a list of the materials I will in order to run these tests.

Success! I’ve found the right ratios to build my coaster. The bearings worked as expected, the only hurdle being the slot I had to cut in them to allow the cart to pass over the track’s ground supports. Unfortunately, I’ve now run into a bigger problem, money. For my lofty dream design of an indoor roller coaster to reach my front door, I’m going to need more money than I have at my disposal. Staring at the number beside the word ‘Budget’ has this pipe dream slowly losing momentum.

A few days have passed since I’ve worked on ‘Project Coaster’. I calculated how many hours I would need to put in at my job if I wanted my coaster built in the coming weeks — the answer being months’ worth. I’ve been keeping up with Facetiming my wife and daughter each morning and night, omitting my secret project. Maybe I’ll rebuild the $200 worth of track I have set up in my room and create two separate ones to race carts down the hallway.

This has proven very fun! I posted a video of my daughter’s toy cars and figurines racing one another along the new tracks and people enjoyed them! Someone commented on how I should do more of these. To which I replied with images from my little black book containing the designs of my dream track, its material list, and that infamous number beside the word budget.

Something remarkable is happening. I’ve been keeping in correspondence with the person I mentioned earlier, Craig. Unbeknownst to me, he posted my video and photos on a site called GoFundMe — a fundraising platform, with a goal to reach the dream coaster’s budget. I can’t believe I’m writing this but we’ve surpassed the goal in a few short days! Capping the fundraiser at $20,000! Jubilant would be an understatement to my current emotional state. All I can think about right now is getting back to the drawing board.

The coaster has become much, much more elaborate since the internet investors have come aboard. Not only did I beef up the tube and bearing design, but I’ve sectioned the rooms of my house into themes. The primary bedroom is now ‘Cloud 9’, a heavenly nirvana-inspired oasis of clouds and smooth banks. Its adjacent bathroom has been transformed in ‘The Rainforest’, with camelbacks that run under the cascading shower. Roaring out the bushes, the coaster then enters my daughter’s room, which I’ve appropriately dubbed ‘The Race’. Consisting of high-speed helixes and descending corkscrews. Coming down the stairs we enter ‘Metropolis’, loaded with double dips and cobra rolls. Additionally, I took the liberty of investing in Legos to add some set decoration to each of the rooms while disguising the ground supports.

It’s getting harder to walk around the house lately. The newfound financing has allowed me to take time off work to build the roller coaster but I still can’t bring myself to tell my wife about it. I don’t know why. This project has become bigger than me now and I have been laser-focused on seeing it through to its completion. Early trial runs have me rebuilding parts of the track that took a while to construct, frustrated would-be understatement at this point. My family is coming home soon and I have yet to have a non-stop run of the coaster. The budget is dwindling on account of my ignorance in rollercoaster engineering and mistakes I’ve made in calculating appropriate inertia. Back to the little black book I go.

Scaling back the big-budget design and creating smaller tracks that run multiple carts in tandem has been the way through my obstacle. Looking back, I should have done this from the beginning; seeing as how the video of racing carts down my hallway is what fueled this construction project. I’m having fun filming the carts all day every day. Mounting different toys and filming them from different angles as they zoom down to my front door. Last night I fell asleep on my living room floor with my camera still recording.

The small community of donors are in love with the videos showcasing the roller coasters. Although, I now am faced with a new problem. My family is coming home in three days and I need my house back. Not to mention I’ve been Facetiming them exclusively from my office so they have no idea what I’ve done with the place…

They came home today and via my indecisiveness, I kept the coasters alive to my wife and daughter’s surprise. They were shocked at first but after a short explanation of the series of events my wife understood why she couldn’t have a shower right now. We all enjoyed the roller coasters for a few more hours and then packed the track away for another day.

- A fictional story written by Antonio Cordero