The new beginning

Being a young individual in a foreign country is not as easy as someone would think. Having no one for support, is easy to get lost in the thought that you are all alone. It feels like you are trapped, you try to escape but it is useless. I guess the only thing you can really do is just sit down and let all those emotions overpower. You have to think of who you are and what you have become. Do not get distracted of useless things, but instead think of yourself. Think of all the things that are taking place and try to understand that all that is happening is happening for a reason. Life can be difficult but you are here to learn and grow. Those difficult moments that you see unfolding in front of your eyes are just memories of the past.

Now it is time for you to shine, learn from your mistakes and your thoughts. Become a better person, someone you will be proud of and never give up. It must have been hard, I understand. People might think that you are giving up but deep inside you know who you really are. I also know who I am. An individual that got lost. An individual that is struggling all alone.

Let me tell you a bit about my story and how each day has been a battle of finding who I really am. It all started with big dreams. Thinking that I can do anything I want and become whoever I want to be. I was able to get older and achieve the biggest accomplishment which was go in a different country, study something I love and find the perfect job. Well, I was able to do one of those things which still makes me proud of who I am.

But then things got difficult. Just before finishing uni, something bad happened that affected the whole world. People started dying, we started staying home, people were scared and so was I. That did not make me stop tho. I started applying for jobs trying to find the job of my dreams. Start earning my own money and create a life by myself. I had a few interviews, some of them stopped the process because they no longer worked and some of them wanted more experience. I was a graduate student with three internships I never got paid from and I was applying for jobs I knew I could accomplish. That was not enough for them. They wanted someone with years of experience but being a young individual that just finished uni I thought they would help me get experience. I guess not. I applied for more than a hundred jobs. I lost faith and I lost my willing to keep trying. I was ready to go home. I kept thinking to myself what is going on.

One month past, two months and then the third month of applying for jobs and still nothing. I had just realised that unless I am a resident of the country with years of experience I am not getting a job. I decided to apply for a masters. I did not want to, all I wanted was find a job. My family convinced me tho. I was ready for a new start, a new beginning. I was able to get accepted at a new university, I changed cities, it was difficult and I was sad. It was not what I wanted to. All I wanted was to find a job and live with the person I loved.

I decided to just learn how to deal with it. I put a new goal of finishing uni with good grades. Maybe that would help finding a job; or maybe since I am doing a different course I would be able to find different opportunities. I was sleeping on the sofa of a friends place for a few months. I was able to do a small project for a company which gave me the opportunity to move to an apartment with four more people. I was thinking that life was getting better. I also found an internship, unpaid one once again. I was thinking that it is a good opportunity. Maybe I can find an actual job so I started applying for jobs again.

I started thinking that I am doing something wrong. I have four internships, three jobs, I am participating in university activities but I cannot find a job. I received an email a few days ago about an interview. I got very excited. I thought that maybe this was the time I would find a job. It was an assistant role, I could do everything on the list. The day had come, they called me, the were very nice and they wanted to learn more about me. I told them my achievements and that I would help them with new ideas and improve together. They seemed happy with me and my work but at the end they told me the bad news. That I did not have enough experience to join their team. They offered me an internship, again. I just could not do this anymore. I felt exhausted. I know I am good enough so why no one will hire me.

I had to give some time to myself and think of the possibilities. That day I gave up. I decided not to wait anymore. I sent an email to the employers and I declined their offer as an unpaid internship that would make me spend money on transportation would be worst than not having a job at all. I finally understood that what I want to do is something I have to achieve myself. I should not wait for someone to give me the opportunity to shine but instead I have to take the fist step and do something.

Present time: I am currently doing my own projects. It makes me feel better. I even did something I never thought I would do which is making youtube videos and showing people my projects. I am trying every day to improve myself and I am very proud. Am I in the best situation I can be? No. Did I stop applying for jobs? No, but they are not my priority anymore. For sometimes things happen when you least expect them. I am currently focusing on improving myself and my business and maybe one day I will not need an employer, I will be the employer myself.

Believe in yourself and do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You always have to work hard and keep going. Do not let people make you feel not worthy of their time or stupid for not knowing a question they asked. We are all humans and we all do mistakes. We all aim for the best and if you keep trying there is not failing as you keep improving. It is a process that the only one who wins is you and the ones who lose are those who did not believe in you enough. Show them what you can do and enjoy every single part of it.