The Lesson I Learned Too Late — And Why You Might Need It Now

Life has every type of moments - some joyful,some painful.Some doesnt feel like a moment itself - they are calm not woohoo or wow.Without screamful shaking in the ground or in the heart - they are just calm,quiet,wanting itself to never end,sliding in the day like a light breeze in summer day - and still they have the tiny power to change whole lives.

Mine-like moment came in ordinary evening,when you don't need to be in bad mood or depression to need the moment to be important,even not need to think it like its a moment.I was sitting in kitchen ,watching the half drinked cup of coffee that gone cold without realising it .The house was so silent,that so it was never that much calm - some will say its everyday and some like me will say its unfamiliar and rare.So rare situation that anyone can say the voices in the head are gone and you can finally hear cars sound from the balcony,the dripping tap water drops,even the slurping sound of the coffee drinking it.

From long time ago i heard my thoughts with outside voice - it was better than inside voice trying to sync with heartbeat - it was strange feeling everytime - perhaps only i see it that way.But this time it wasn't rushed thoughts coming by stress of every micro doings (words,behavior of people close or strangers) that archives in mind like a hard drive - some people making jokes about it in the IT sector too.Not anxious coming from fears of every situation simulationing badly in mind after you slept for hours waking better and playing them all day like an old casette.And from now the feeling of not needing to rehearse them lying myself i am fine rather talking to myself even if the words are swearing,playful,good or just laughing is refreshing the soul from inside - and with this attitude hearing the real thinkings,not that every people - junior,grownup or else avoids at least 50 times only for an hour,and for one day - the amount isn't small.That eveing after all of this is when the lesson is arrived.

I found that life was on autopilot - same activites without trying to control them,only maintaining them - like a 24/7 worker of life instead of living every moment to the end - no matter how long is it a second,a minute or an hour.I was doing what people and society expected from me,not what i was wanting to do and forgetting simultaneously what my dreams and desires were(in other words forgetting life's meaning and not having what to fight in healthy way,not tormenting and tiring yourself day after day).Pretending to be okay because it was the easier choice,carrying someone else's responsibilities on my back,holding years of emotions with the one wanting to end silently - yes,its easier to say you are okay,when you aren't.Almost anyone at least once in life has been through this - the difference is not how you overcome it,but who is there to support you - sometimes there aren't anyone and the enlightenment comes after you accept that you need to leave the imaginary battlefield and go back to real life - to real challenges.

A lot of people tell themselves they will tell themselves they will deal with problems "later" without understanding or listening others when they tell them it's a trap.It's the promise we make to ourselves in every hard moment and rarely keeping it.The lesson i think i could learn it very earlier in my puberty age(according to that rare people grow different and chaotically fast) is : If you don't hold your life in your hands,someone else will hold and crush it(crushed mostly by others expectations leading to burnout,panic and emotional crashes).

Life doesn't pause,it moves with or without us.And if we don't step ahead in our story which is called like a life journey - we will end if others shadows of others(family,bosses,co-workers and similar).Maybe with this step we can recognize ourselves better - burning away the carried everything and shutting up any word without any importance now.There is no need of permisison to change our directions,no need of dramatic turnings and detours.It all can start with small pause,breath,honesty with yourself and going ahead with small doings - saying no,choosing rest,setting needed boundaries or at least acknowledging we want the different.

With the wrong mindset i tried to shift my life overnight and almost every night and that gave me only false hopes untill that one moment and doing the small steps one by one.I may have learned this lesson too late,but you don't need to.If who reads this - it can be their moment with their little and role playing accents.This is reminder for anyone who is between the change - it can be easily said - it's worth it.

Listening to the whisper inside us - that is the awakenment which speaks to us in any time of the day for a reason.Its not yet late for anyone,not too late.