The journey of catching buses

The problem of trying to be successful is not that "it's about the journey"...

Allow me to create this image in your head about trying to chase success. Imagine all your life trying to catch a bus, imagine, fully immerse yourself in the situation. it's a bus you're late to, and it's hard catching it anyways, when you head out catching it, in full sprint, a girl at the station tells you its ok, you don't have to run. there's another one in like 30 minutes, you suddenly realize you don't know the girl and you unconsciously know you cannot trust her. you make a run for it.

This is your first time running. In your entire life you have never ran before, while some in your situation would get stuck at the heavy obstacles in the way, such as suddenly losing all motivation to catch the bus, falling horribly on the pavement, or maybe simply not being fit enough to make this run, you are different. you are one in the very few that are in your situation, who makes this run. You catch the bus. the people in the station give you this smug look of "hey I see you caught the bus, congrats". One of them smiles at you and gives you even a little wink seeing your attractive strength of running towards the bus without stopping. you blush and smile confidently

You feel momentary joy. A rush of blood to the head, in this instance you can do everything.

But wait, hang on, it's not exactly what you were hoping for. Confusion floods you like a bomb on a dam. Your whole reality is catching on, as you quickly but surely starting to understand that you can't quite remember why you ran for the bus. while you stand in front of the bus in the station confused, you look at the people entering the bus. None of them sees you.

some people in your situation would start slowly going home, some would break in rage and pass out free-falling into the pavements, and some just go into the bus with the same feeling keeping the facade of knowing why they did it in their face while never really getting off the bus. But not you, you're having a flashback. You remember you once read a short story that took you into an immersive experience about the meaning of catching buses. You realize that all you need to do is look at the map, you close your eyes, you take a few seconds of deep breaths while the last passenger is making their way into the bus's door, and only then you go into the bus. you sit there, notice the other passengers all looking as if they know where they're going, you know you can't really trust anyone to tell you the truth in these conditions. you don't recognise anyone and asking whether they know where they're going seems like a stupid question to ask while on a bus. you wait on the bus a few stops, seeing people from all over the world catching buses looking at you from far away with eyes that beg for an answer to the starving question of, "how did you pull this off?" you are not interested in answering although you see some other passengers are. after a few stops, a few minutes. you get off the bus, you inhale the fresh air as you see your station. you feel happy.

You wake up. it's a monday morning, it' week three of the second semester and you're already exhausted. while in class you are having a daydream about what life could be if you just tried to aim for the highest out there, you need more money and you have a general though thorough idea of how to earn it. You find yourself fully convinced after that daydream that the stars have aligned the right way and now it's finally the time to make it in big world just as you've been dreaming about. your parents weren't supportive but the weren't also trapping you in any way, your part time dayjob is enough to cover for the minimal payments of the month and a tiny bit more, in condition you don't get fired. you finish the day, focused and motivated. you don't know it yet but you actually can't really remember what was the daydream about. you walk a bit, You look at the clock seeing you're late. You are trying to catch the last bus.