The impact

Servitude to others is pitched as this self-sacrificing act that is continuous throughout your unwilling ability to give to yourself.

Respectfully I disagree. Compassion to which the cornerstone to careers and paths of servitude are paved I’d say are a selfless and selfish act. Helping others makes me feel driven, alive and reflective, which in turn creates an atmosphere and environment in which others feel inspired and driven themselves.

So by that definition, we do not, leave our cups empty. Now we might not fill them as often or maintain the fillable as much as others in other fields but…… I would argue the density of the fill is much more in ours.

I say that because the story I’m about to tell is all about one comment and how it redirects your thoughts.

A few weeks back, on a Tuesday at 2:30 pm and I just completed my third child protective services report. “What the fuck” was my only thought! That consumed my mind.

A few days later I decide to take an outside approach with one of my male 12-year-old clients lay out on the couch and appearing to be using my phone. At the end of the session he said”Travis,I have conversations with you that I believe I would have with my dad if I knew him”

The deep-seated sadness for that young boy hurts, and at the same time to get blessed with a momentary fragment of his time to give peace, is so humbling I could be satisfied with my life it was my last breath. ( no exaggeration)

Sitting with a family that the CPS calls resulted in an investigator at his family's house. He is visually angered and barely holding back his red-faced, squelched fists anger that continuously is moving around his lap.

Professionally I am keeping the confidentiality of his children and maintaining a cool calm and collective approach so that the session can end with a calmer demeanor than it began. Internally,I have a lot of worry and compassion for the kids.

Upon completion, the parents leave the room and I am with teenage siblings who can no longer hold back their tears and fanatically express their tangential thoughts and worry they will not have a place to vent and feel safe.

The clock had now gone past the designated time and the next client is waiting. As I rise from my chair,I see the hesitation to leave and the boy trembling hands. He asks for a hug, before I can respond or think of a response, he tearfully says “ I would like a hug because you have treated more like a dad than my own dad has” we hug with a squeeze that settles the roughest of hearts and breaks down any anger or resentment I had towards his parents. That deep part of my soul he touched did not want to let him go, wanted to give him and his sister a safe haven, a place to grow and be themselves, explore their identities with safety and acceptance, but …….I had to let go.

Fighting back the tears I welcomed my next client.

Our job within the fields of servitude is not outcomes. We assist the client in self-discovery and Insight, planting the seeds and hoping they grow to fruition. We must accept that fate even for those situations that end abruptly and without a healthy transition.

The unknown is what haunts and keeps us going at night. Thinking about what to say, how to say it, and when is the best time for optimal delivery, but there are also those endless frantic rambling thoughts full of anxiety because you don’t know what to do or if anything will work.

The frantic mind and the pull of your heartstrings, both are what makeup servitude.

So let’s redefine what it means to provide service to others. We are not these hopeless ideal romantics that hope every case is going to end in rainbows and sunshine.

We, the ones who stay in the fields of servitude, usually have roots of a troubled past that connected us to this work. That past allows us to see the strength in knowing the glory of staring your demons in the face and viciously grabbing their power and using it against them. Realizing the void in your heart can only be filled by swan diving into that son of a bitch and filling from the bottom.

We use that to calmly and ever so gently teach others to teach themselves that they too are greatly powerful and beautiful beasts that can overcome any obstacles put in their way.

So let’s look at servitude differently. We owe it to ourselves, without these people the world would be much darker.

Thank you and hope you enjoy !

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Travis Knowlton

https://linktr.ee/Travisknowlton1