The False Myths of the Self-Made

We live in an era where personal success has become almost a moral duty. If you haven’t reached the top all by yourself, then something must be wrong with you. At least, that’s the message we keep hearing everywhere: in motivational talks, in viral social media posts, in interviews with “self-made billionaires” who claim that, starting from nothing, they built empires with sheer willpower, grit, black coffee… and views.

But what lies behind this rhetoric of individual success? And why does it make us feel inadequate, as if we’re the ones missing something?

Let’s look at the false myths of the “self-made” that mislead us.

The Myth of “Making It Alone”

Have you noticed how pop culture has a soft spot for the lone hero? We see it in films, novels, glossy biographies: the protagonist who, against all odds, rolls up their sleeves and triumphs.

This archetype, romantic and powerful, has its roots in the ideology of liberal capitalism, where every individual is considered responsible for their own destiny.

John D. Rockefeller, often cited as one of the first examples of a “self-made man,” is one of the most exploited characters of this narrative.

The official version tells us he started from humble beginnings, building an oil empire with discipline and business acumen. What is less told is the context he was born into: a family that, while not rich, was white, American, Protestant, and well-integrated into the society of the time. A world where skin color, surname, and accent opened invisible doors that remained shut for others.

And this pattern repeats itself even today.

Elon Musk: Lone Genius or Child of the System?

In popular narratives, Elon Musk is the high-tech hero of our time: he revolutionized the world with Tesla, dreamed of Mars with SpaceX, bought Twitter with the confidence of someone who can do anything.

But digging just beneath the surface, a different story emerges.

A Golden Childhood in South Africa

Musk was born into a wealthy family. His father, Errol Musk, was an engineer and partial owner of an emerald mine in Zambia. Elon himself, in past interviews (later retracted), admitted that his family had access to uncommon wealth.

Growing up in one of the most privileged areas of South Africa, during apartheid, with private schools and rare access to computers… is not exactly “starting from scratch”.

Early Access to Capital

After moving to North America, Musk attended elite universities, such as Wharton. He co-founded Zip2 and later X.com (which became PayPal), but always with the support of investors, favorable environments, and privileged networks.

Silicon Valley welcomed him not as an outsider, but as one of their own: white, well-educated, ambitious.

A Carefully Crafted Image

The figure of the genius who sleeps in the factory is part of a well-studied narrative. Even his public emotional breakdowns seem to follow a strategy: that of the misunderstood but authentic genius.

Behind the scenes, however, there are hundreds of thousands of employees, billions in public funding, political lobbies, and sophisticated communication strategies.

Why Is He a False Self-Made?

Not because Musk isn’t smart or capable. He is.

But the idea that he “made it all on his own” is simply false. It ignores privilege, access to capital, cultural context, teams, and marketing.

And so, millions of young people dream of “becoming like Musk,” not realizing that having the right idea isn’t enough if you don’t also have the right cards in hand.

Oprah Winfrey: True Self-Made or Crafted Symbol?

If there’s one universally celebrated “self-made woman,” it’s Oprah Winfrey. A Black woman, raised in poverty in the American South, a victim of abuse and discrimination. The narrative is powerful. And yet, here too, reality is more complex.

The Official Story: From Trauma to Triumph

Oprah was born in 1954 in Mississippi. She suffered sexual abuse, grew up in harsh conditions, but at 19 was already anchoring a news show. By 32, she had her own talk show. She built a media empire, launched a TV channel, wrote books, acted, and created a foundation.

An extraordinary success. But not solely the result of willpower.

The Less-Told Chapters

1. Privileged Schooling (relatively speaking)

She went to live with her father in Nashville, where she attended a selective public school for gifted students. A protected environment, scholarships, and access to contests.

2. Early Access to Media

She entered radio and TV as a teenager. In the 1970s, the U.S. media industry was beginning to look for “diverse” faces. She was brilliant, telegenic, empathetic — and in the right place at the right time.

3. Team and Personal Brand

Oprah was supported by a whole machine: stylists, makeup artists, communication experts. She knew how to connect with audiences, but she also had resources and room for error that many other women with similar backgrounds never had.

4. Growth Supported by the System

Oprah worked within the system, not against it. She conquered it from the inside, with talent, yes, but also with the help of favorable systemic conditions.

The Oprah Paradox

Admire her, yes. Mythologize her, no. Every time we say, “If Oprah made it, anyone can,” we blame those who didn’t. As if trauma, racism, and poverty could be overcome with the right mindset alone. They can’t.

The Invisible Privileges

Success never happens in a vacuum.

Behind every so-called “self-made” there are almost always:

• a family providing support (financial or emotional)

• a solid social network

• a powerful passport

• a reputation that could be leveraged early on

Those who today present themselves as self-made often attended elite schools, had access to investors, gained trust from the media and governments.

All things that an equally brilliant young person, born in the wrong place, will hardly ever get.

No One Truly Makes It Alone

The self-made man myth is dangerous. It creates an unattainable model and makes us believe that if we fail, it’s our fault. The truth?

Success is an ecosystem, not a solo mission.

Behind every famous name there is:

• an invisible team

• starting capital

• image strategy

• free time, mental space, and the freedom to fail

Things that those working just to survive rarely have.

Why Do We Still Believe It?

Because we like it. Because it comforts us. Because it tricks us into thinking we too could make it, overnight. But it’s also a psychological trap. It prevents us from seeing inequalities, privileges, and shortcuts granted to some but denied to others.

Let’s Reclaim Reality

This isn’t about denying merit, or demonizing those who succeeded. It’s about telling the whole picture, not just the motivational fairytale. By celebrating the self-made myth, we end up blaming those who fail. And we forget that slower, quieter, and harder paths also hold value.

With this in mind, we can accept that success doesn’t need to be epic to be authentic. Everyone has their own threshold of success. Not everyone will become outrageously rich and famous — even if that’s what we’re led to believe.

Behind every huge success, there’s a huge team effort. And maybe you won’t become the next Elon Musk, but you can become the version of authentic success that suits you.

Even if we’ve been misled by the false myths of the self-made, it doesn’t mean we must give up or lower our standards. Success has no universal formula: each of us has our own, made of desires, values, and personal choices.

To discover YOUR success formula, I recommend reading my recent article: The Formula of Success. 7 Questions to Discover YOUR Personal Success Formula.

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