The consequences of helping

I want to help; how can I help? I want to help; what is in it for me? Two different questions. Two different mindsets. Two quite different outcomes. Successful people always ask the first question. Why are they successful? They are, because they know that losing oneself in the service of others is what makes us. It is like a positive ripple effect. It goes out as service from one to another and comes back as contentment, fulfilment, satisfaction, and increased self-worth. People with this mindset usually live a happy life as they find the undeniable effects of giving back, lifting others, and making life better for someone else no matter how little.

Little is needed to have a happy life. Happiness is built in not what we possess or acquire but how to use what we have, to make others a little bit more comfortable. It is in the service to others that we find ourselves. Research has proven this fact. The time we give to others, the money we spend on others, the listening ear we render, the compliments and respect we show to make others feel extra special. These are the things that really matter. It spreads harmony, improves relationships, and builds trust amongst family members, neighbours, friends, co-workers and even strangers. In short, it spreads goodness.

Not forgetting the fact that, every act of kindness no matter how small it may seem is considered an act of charity. So, I ask myself first and always in my own little way, how can I be of service to others? What are my God-given traits that I can use to spread positivity, love, and goodness? A question we should ask ourselves often.

In order to throw more light into this issue lets look at consequence. There are two things people are seldom wary of. The consequences of their actions and the lessons learnt from the consequences of the actions of people around them. Emphasis on the second point. We all know that every choice comes with a consequence. Once we make the choice to help, we choose a positive consequence for both the helper and the receiver of help. In the words of Leon Brown;

"Always do the right thing no matter what others say. It is you, not them, who have to face the consequence."

That is why we cannot separate the concept of the choice to help and the consequences that come with it. Imagine, if the general norm was to treat each other the way we are treated. That is, good for good and bad for bad. In other words, and in relation to this issue at hand, help those who help you and neglect those who don't. How then can we say that we are any better than those who choose to neglect. How can we then ensure that the consequences of choosing to neglect will not cause a negative ripple effect on the long run. We would be indirectly sowing seeds of enmity, fueling hatred instead of building bridges and encouraging harmony and understanding, because helping even the so called undeserving breeds and encourages love and discourages grudges. It softens hard hearts and beautifies corrupted and polluted minds.

In other words, it will be wise to learn from the consequences of the actions or mistakes made by others by not falling into them ourselves. Simply because life if filled with lessons. We learn our lessons from the past and apply them in the future. The consequence of helping others is such that helping others breads positivity and goodness for oneself. The more we put out there selflessly the more positivity and goodness is attracted to us and spread around us. Especially if we help, even when we feel it is not deserved.

We have all experienced this one way or another at some point in our lives. It is called growth and with growth comes wisdom as a result of lessons learnt. Our actions, intentionally or not can either create a storm or sunshine. Deep down our hearts, we feel the sunshine when we render help to one another irrespective of our feelings and emotions. If we do not make that effort, we need not get upset when it rains. Lets work on making the sun shine more often. Be sure that as you are weathering the storm, you are helping someone somewhere who is watching and learning.

I want to help; how can I help? I do not need to know what is in it for me. I am after all helping myself.

Olamide Alimi