Tell Me What You CAN Do.

I was living in Hawaii at the time. In one of the most beautiful places in the world. But it is also expensive. And my boyfriend and I had four jobs between the two of us just to be able to afford to share a two-bedroom condo with a friend. FOUR JOBS.

I was working at my second job in the most adorable little boutique on the west side of Maui one day when my friend came in. I will save his name for privacy reasons but let's just call him B.

B was sunshine incarnate. I don't think I hardly ever saw him without a smile. Always willing to help others and spread music, poetry, laughter, and love. He was really one of a kind.

I believe B had just come from a drum circle when he came in to say hello. I must have been having a rough day because he could immediately tell something was off and asked me how I was doing.

Now I should also mention that I am by nature a very positive, outgoing, fun-loving person myself. But we all have bad days. My boyfriend and I had been soooo busy working in Maui we were beginning to feel like we were always too tired to ENJOY the beautiful paradise we had moved to. We also wanted to move into a place of our own but financially we couldn't seem to see how it would ever be possible.

When B asked me how I was, I was so grateful to him for his empathy and for listening that I began to unload all of my trials and tribulations right then since we were the only ones in the store. It was unfortunately a lot of we CAN'T seem to find better jobs, or a new affordable place to live, and I CAN'T ever seem to find time to enjoy living here because everyone works so much. I believe there were several other I CAN'Ts in my tirade before he gently stopped me.

This is when B completely changed how I look at problems and challenges in my life. B said roughly that I kept telling him what I CAN'T do but I don't seem to be mentioning or even considering what I CAN do.

Whoa.

I needed that.

He went on the explain a bit about how we can sit and lament on our challenges and problems and be stuck in that depression or anxiety if we like. But we also have the choice to see our challenges as chances to learn and grow. We have the choice to view our problems as possibilities. And more than anything we can choose to believe that there IS a way, and the way will be much easier to find once we are no longer thinking and saying we CAN'T.

This took me back to when I was a little girl when my father said something similar. My father, a quadriplegic and confined to a wheelchair since I was four years old, was no quitter or complainer. And he did not expect to raise a daughter to become one either. As a little girl if I said I CAN'T my father would stay with me and help me through the process of thinking outside of the box to find a way I COULD. He would tell me I could do anything if I put my mind to it. Listening to B took me right back to that original message and added to it in the kindest most gentle and beautifully put way.

Challenges are chances. Problems are possibilities. When nothing is certain anything is possible. I was so grateful for these words and the renewed meaning of my father's message from so long ago.

Challenges are chances.

Problems are possibilities.

Perspective is everything.

Thank you B. <3