Takeaways from a year of 27

This last week I turned 28, a small notch in the late 2os, but nonetheless impactful. I spent my time as a 27-year-old challenging myself constantly in many ways. I solo backpacked through Australia and South East Asia, I basically lived out of my car with temporary housing in between. I learned to be okay with constant transitions and to listen to my needs first. I gave myself the year of 27 to have freedom and an unconventional lifestyle that I knew I would look back on and never regret.

This year came with many lessons or you can say takeaways! I call being in your late 20s, you are the young of the old and the old of the young. You are in constant transition whether you are comparing yourself to where your friends are or trying to figure out where you want to settle or if you want to settle down at all. It is hard, it can be lonely, but it is also filled with so much growth and understanding of yourself along the way, so here is what I took with me in my year of being 27!

1. Home is where ever I decide to be!

I remember 5 years ago I was in love with a boy who became my home. After that relationship ended I felt displaced. My home wasnt with him, it didnt feel like where I grew up fit either, but this year I was able to redefine what home is to me!

Between the travels to 7 different countries, a few visits to my hometown, and lots and lots of pet sits in other people's homes, my home became wherever I chose to be. I think a piece of me fits everywhere I go, so now I define home as the place I go to sleep, hold my essentials and the space that holds whatever dream I am pursuing at the time!

2. The people who want to travel will find a way!

I spent several months traveling on a trip I saved up for. Meanwhile, people would message me and tell me what I am doing is amazing and how they wish they could do that or how they want to see the world too, but havent. I also am surrounded by friends that say they want to travel, but dont. They all have their reasoning, but in my experience, someone who truly desires to travel and see the world will make it happen on a small or big scale.

In order to save for my backpacking trip, I worked three jobs, and it wasn't like they were all great money jobs, but they were flexible, consistent and I didn't have a life for 8 months, so I could travel and experience what I wanted to and how I wanted to for 5 months. But even if we aren't talking about going overseas, someone who loves to explore and see the world will do it, even within the mundane of their current situation! Travel by train in your city, drive somewhere and sleep in your car, and eat PBJ sandwiches for a week straight if you want to experience the world, find a way.

My view on it is when someone says they don't have the means to travel, they either don't have the drive to make it happen, or they don't have the means to travel how they want to and the budget that goes with that!

3. To be " More Than Courageous"

My mom and I recently took a trip to South Dakota from Denver, our first stop was Fort Collins where we got stuck for a few days because our van broke down. One of the nights we were there, a local restaurant was having a karaoke night where there were collectively only 7 people in the restaurant. I have always loved the stage with my subpar talent, but my mom is a horrible singer. That night with our 7 people bonding over bad singing and songs that make us feel, my mom went up there and sang! One of the boys after told her that her performance was "More than Courageous", doing something even though you know you are not good at it.

Im taking with me the concept of being more than courageous when stepping out of my comfort zone. I am going to change my mentality from what will people think if I am not good, to look at that person who is confident without a fault in others' eyes, or maybe a little bit crazy, but boy she is having fun! Strive for being MORE THAN COURAGEOUS!

4. People will believe what you tell them, and slowly you will too!

Part of the reason I have given myself the time to live how I have been is because I am working toward growing my business and skillset. Last year, when I worked all those jobs, one of them is my dream. I am a photographer and videographer, mostly for weddings, and I LOVE IT. Nonetheless, working like crazy doesn't really give you time to build your craft, so this year, I allowed myself to grow my business where I could put my energy towards it!

A year ago when someone asked me what I did for a living, I would trip over myself trying to explain all the jobs I work in the effort to become a videographer, or at least what I thought qualified as being a successful one.

Leaving this year, I lead with I am a wedding photographer and videographer and leave it at that. People will believe what you tell them. The majority of them won't care enough to look into your work and the others sometimes leads you to networking, potential clients, and other opportunities. But mostly, you too, will believe what you are telling people and that's the greatest gift. I no longer fuss over the fact that I am not where I want to be or that I am not the best at my craft, but that doesn't make my intention and dream any less. Any other jobs I do is to support me in being a photographer till I can do it without them, and as long as I am pursuing and growing and learning what I love to do, that title stands.

5. Life becomes less on where you want to travel and more, on who you want your travels with!

I carry this explanation with me whenever someone asks about my travels or what was my favorite part. I tell them it's all so different! In my travels, I wasn't solo the entire time. I met people in hostels on tours, got to meet up with family, and joined a tour group in Vietnam where I experienced 11 days with the same group of people.

My takeaway is when you travel solo, you are seeing the world happening around you, and when you travel with people, you are experiencing the world happening.

My favorite memories of my trip all involve people I got to share new experiences with! Traveling solo has its perks, but you spend a lot of time alone, which can be nice, but sometimes you don't connect with people and you watch people experiencing life, more than you are experiencing life. There is beauty in that. However, my takeaway from this trip, is to never be afraid to do it alone but make as many connections as you can because exploring and experiencing life with someone else is way more fun!

6. You never know the connection you will make, ask the question, Start the conversation!

This takeaway plays on number 5 as well. However, you don't need to be traveling the world to make a connection. It seems humans can be way more isolated these days, where we stay in a bubble instead of opening the room to meet others.

I struggle with this myself, not in the desire to form a connection but in finding the outlet that will connect me to my people. I am in a transitional phase, where I crave to build a friend group that loves the things I love, but that takes time and a lot of effort, as it should! Nonetheless, never be afraid to make a connection, whether you can keep the spark till it turns to a flame or even if you met someone one time and you never reconnected, that is okay, that connection was a part of both your stories! So if you see someone reading a book that you liked or are intrigued by another person's attire or personality, never be afraid to ask a question or start a conversation because it could be nothing, but it could also turn into something amazing!

7. Taking time to be by yourself after a relationship is healing and filled with needed growth!

Before this last year, I was a monogamous serial dater where I would only give myself a few months between trying to find another partner to fill my space with. This could have been because I hated being alone or the insatiable desire to be and feel loved, but I never gave myself the proper time to heal from my past relationships with them. I would carry a piece of them into the next relationship I would inevitably enter and blame it on being a deep person.

I am a deep person, but I have been out of a relationship for over a year now, almost two, and I no longer carry those burdens with me. I now can look at them for what they were and feel fondly over my time with them but understand who they were and who I am and separate. I hate to say it, but I am also grateful for where I am, so I have to say I am proof that you need to give yourself that time to heal and find the parts of you that make you feel more whole than the pieces they couldn't give, Its worth it I promise!

Take the time, dream up a trip to distract and save for, write out a list of things you want to try, and actually do them. I do miss intimacy and having a partner, but I can honestly say, if you jump into a relationship before healing, you're not bringing your best self into that relationship.

8. Life is hard no matter what path you choose to live by!

You know the saying the grass is greener on the other side. I can tell you from someone who went from working three jobs and barely living to someone who makes way less income but has so much freedom, life is still hard no matter how you shake it.

I do have to add to this by saying having as much freedom as you can is definitely the way to go in my opinion, but with any element of change, the challenges react to that change. My problems and stresses didn't go away because I had free time, they simply morphed into my needs and shortcomings of my current times. You just work with what you have and do the best you can!

But my takeaway is to do the things you love as often as you can and enjoy when the leaves change color. It can be beautiful when you stop to appreciate it!

9. Friendships change from friends bonded by history and those you make while doing your interests.

This year, I prioritized trying new hobbies that have been on my bucket list for years but I have never given the time or money to try. Along the way, I have craved a deeper connection and have been trying to build budding friendships based on these newfound past times. The friends I have where I live, I love with all my heart, but I have realized we are on completely different tracks of interest, and what keeps us as friends is more the history of our friendship than the present. I have always been a big-picture person, so I will never let those friendships fall completely through the cracks, as they are important to me. However, I have a deep desire to build a community surrounded by friends who want to grow with me in what we like to do.

10. Enjoy the Seasons!

I live in one of the most beautiful states, in my opinion, and the seasons here are diverse and colorful and warm and stormy, and I love it all. Well, I love it all except for the snow that never goes away! The past few years, I have worked more than I have played, and after spending the last several months emphasizing exploring and hitting that 10k walking marker, the seasons seem brighter and more wonderful. This year, I got to see and explore different terrains and places with lakes and changing trees and walking downtown in a snowstorm. I have learned the seasons are way cooler when you aren't looking from a car window and taking time to enjoy it within it!

11. There's freedom in being alone, and you are way more capable than you think.

I have a feeling by takeaway eleven, things are going to start feeling a little repetitive. Nonetheless, this is important.

If I were to describe myself, I would say I am smack down the middle between extrovert and introvert, aka I am an Ambiavert! There are many cases in which I am fuelled by the people around me and others where I become drained within hours. I find myself getting tired, retreating away for up to three 40-minute episodes and sneaking back out to find any form of connection I can, and, most of the time, ending up scrolling on Bumble wishing I had that person in my life.

Solo traveling and pet sitting in several small to large houses has really taught me to be okay with my alone time. The constant transition made dating impossible, and my focus on my business made me less interested in searching out those connections. Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time alone this year, and honestly, I am so content with it!

I am not going to go as far and say I will continue to be happy being single, but I will say how much more I appreciate my alone time to do what I want and sit with my thoughts. I used to hate sitting with my thoughts and the more time I was alone the more lonely I felt.

I had this idea in my head of being this girl who could walk in a park with a book in her bag and a coffee in her hand and just be content with wherever the day took her. I have to say, it took about six weeks to become that girl and enjoy the wonder, but I did it, and I don't think I will ever look at the world the same again!

Taking time to be alone and finding enjoyment within it will make you feel like a full whole-hearted person who is both mentally and physically healthy!

12. That it's pretty cool to have a job that counts as one of your dreams.

Raise your hand if you ever tried making a career out of something you love?!

I have found in my particular profession that there are a lot of people who settle for the 9-5 life, and how my hours, schedule, and creativity just can't relate. I have done the office job, and though sometimes I crave that stability again, I can't say I ever miss it! Building a skill that I love and making money on is so cool, and the fact that I feel like my best self while doing it, you can't beat it! Also, while others are in the office, I find myself on the lake paddleboarding during the middle of the day!

It may not always be the most profitable or sustainable, but I sure as hell would rather spend my 20s doing something I enjoy than sitting behind the desk planning my demise.

13. You make your rules on how to live!

I find my best life is going on a walk in a rotating new park with a dog that is not mine, but I get to enjoy the perks and pets of them! I find that having Costco pizza and ice cream once a week is a must! I also decided that playing pickleball makes me so happy and to do it as often as possible!

I am super privileged to be able to choose the way I want to live. The biggest one for me is to never live in my hometown again and to always be a visitor when I do go back! The best and I mean probably the only best perk of being an adult is you get to make the decisions on how you want to live your life!

With that being said, find out what that looks like to you, I personally like lists but to each their own!

14. I love the Notes app on my phone!

This has to be one of my favorite takeaways on the list, a place where I keep all my lists, ideas, poems, and everything that I want to note to achieve and think about! It all ends up in my notes app!

This is a place for everything that doesn't end up in a vocal article. I have notes on photography and videography, some on what I want to learn to grow, and others on a list of weddings I want to experience and capture. For example, I want to photograph a wedding that has Raising Canes as the late-night snack or a wedding that turns into a silent disco after hours. I have a place for poems that don't make it onto a platform and 29 things to do before I turn 29. I have lists of videos I want to make and places I want to travel, quotes I don't want to forget, and things I bought while traveling.

My notes app is filled with possibility and potential, fun ideas and dreams. It has the brainstorm to my book I will someday write and my personal favorites like my "Highdeas," where I have some really funky ideas!

So to note, my takeaway is to find your notes app! Find a place where you can write down thoughts, ideas, hacks, and dreams and put them in there, unedited, hodgepodged, and titled in fun ways, because why not?

15. You can't make anyone change who they are, you can only inspire them when you are together.

Woof this is a tough one because I have certain people in my life who are changing in front of me, I mean I am changing too, but in my eyes, they are not changing for the better.

I come from enabling roots; I just want to help my friends be the best version of themself that they can be, but sometimes you can't help them. Some part of me believes that maybe I can inspire them, join the team, go to the classes with them, and give them good reasons to grow and learn and get out there. But I have also found that sometimes it feels more crippling to the ladder you are trying to climb. I have had to let go of what I think is best for them, and when inviting them to things, try to inspire them to bring out their best selves. Hopefully, maybe it could catch on and be the jumpstart that they need! But for now, I just need to accept who they are and keep showing up!

16. The Art of Noticing Matters

I have always said, my favorite quality in someone is their intentions. I think this is the case because when someone is being intentional they cover all the bases of the 5 love languages, but most of all my number one acts of service. Being intentional is about noticing, which is the biggest green flag in my opinion.

The art of noticing is being aware and taking in the small things. Not only when interacting or being with another person but also the small gestures in life that can make it seem so beautiful. My favorite example of this is small affections in public, such as hand-holding or leaning up against someone you love. It could be noticing and acclimating to someone's pronouns or noticing the extra love and care in the things moms do for their children.

Open your eyes and notice all the small things around you, it will change the way you think about those in your life and the way the world seems.

17. Find ways to be Proud of yourself

In a world full of media and self-comparison, it can seem impossible to feel proud of yourself in any way. One of my favorite quotes I've seen float around is, "You once dreamed of where you are today."

Think about that! Three years ago, I did my first wedding video for $200, this past year, I charged $2000. I was new, knew very little, and nodded anytime people talked shop talk with me. Now I am three years smarter and am learning more about my craft daily. I am proud of myself, where I have come, the connections I am making, and the future I can dream of.

I am also proud of letting myself take this year and live unconventionally! It is not in my nature to not have a source of constant stability, to let the decisions follow the natural direction, and to not stress . . . . too much about my savings not growing as much as I would like! But within this year I have grown so much as a person, I cant not be proud of myself for the personal growth I have taken in the last 365 days!

18. I need to love my person, more than they love me.

I came across this concept when I was trying to date amid this last year. It was from one of my hopeful attempts to join Bumble or Tinder or whatever I downloaded at the time. I fully believed I would want my future partner to love me more than I loved them! I had a relationship where that person adored the socks off me and I ate it up, but I equally adored him back so there was that.

On this date, that guy was nice, listened, and answered my questions, and I could tell he was way more enamored with me than I was with him. We went on a few dates, and eventually, I called it off because the vibes were not there for me. However, I learned that I need to be more into my partner than they are into me. I mean, it would be cool if it were equal, but if it's not, the clingy, obsessed boy who never gave input back made me take a 7-month hiatus from dating, so there's that!

19. What I learned while visiting home this year.

This last time I visited home, I might as well have stamped a red marking saying that I was visiting on my forehead because I took every opportunity to make sure everyone in my life knew this wasn't a permanent thing. I took this time off as an opportunity to visit home to see my grandma and attend a few weddings this year. In the time I've been here, the less I wanted to stay, and how Colorado has become my home.

As disappointed as my parents and brother and sister-in-law, I feel privileged to say that! I have never felt like I fit anywhere, so to feel like I am building a community that I want to stay in and expand and grow that is mine, feels damn special! I explained it to my mom by saying: "The little girl that grew up sitting on that couch, looked out the window to a home that was so small, then she grew up and got out into it and the world became so big. I am that girl, I have outgrown where I am from and can no longer live in a town with one Mexican restaurant and no new variety! The world is so big and I want to explore and be in it as much as possible!

20. If you want to learn, put yourself out there for free.

This last year was focused on physical and mental growth far more than financial growth! Although at times, that made me question what I was trying to build or who I was trying to become, I had given myself this year to do that!

My goal was to grow my business. I have a whole list of course, but for me, this meant, making new connections, assisting in photographing a wedding, telling someone I was capable of things I didn't know if I actually was, but believing that I could be. This past year I did almost all of those things constantly, but the way I got into these positions of growth was by understanding growth takes time, and time is money, thus put yourself out there to do things for free in exchange for growth.

I started by connecting with a photographer and joining her on a wedding that didn't originally have a second shooter; this gave me the feel of it! Yes, I have done several weddings for video already, but being a photographer is a bit different, even when I stood next to one in all those other weddings. I met people and threw myself into the position to take their photos for free to build my portfolio! Slowly, I have been building my clients, starting from a $400 gig to now, my packages are around two thousand. I am still learning, I still dream of having bigger budget weddings to capture, maybe even one that takes me out of state or country, but from the beginning of this year to now, I am amazed that I can check one still set off the list!

Thus, my takeaway from this year is your time is valuable, so use it to grow and put yourself in positions to gain experience even if in the beginning that means doing it for free!

21. Do what fills your cup!

I have gained a new late sixties, newly retired friend this year, she told me without the structure of her job, she wakes up every day trying to do something productive and something fun!

This year, I have prioritized a lot of fun granted I find my passion very fun, so that helps! Nonetheless, I have truly spent a lot of time with myself and finding hobbies and pastimes that fill me up as a person. I often laugh when someone asks me what my hobbies are because I used to not have any, and now I have several, Ironically, they all start with the letter P!

Pickleball, Photography, pottery, painting, pet sitting, poetry, paddleboarding to name a few, but you could probably add trying to find a boy (you know the P word for that), pondering life, and as much travel as I can afford in there.

I was told your 20s are for figuring yourself out, and this year I have spent the time doing exactly that, prioritizing what fills my cup. Actively making choices that would benefit my current needs and wants above anything else. If you're tired, go to sleep, if you're hungry, find food, if you want to write at 3 am, get those words out!

Do what fills your cup!

22. The shift in growing up away from your family.

I had on my 2023 wants and dreams list that I write every year to spend quality time with my grandma. She is a fantastic, strong-willed, classy, cute little lady and probably my favorite person in this world. Tragically, the place I grew up is not the place I live anymore and is definitely not somewhere I see myself living shortly. With this being said I made it a priority to use my flexibility this year to visit home as much as possible and play as many hands of cards with me here, as I can manage.

Family is becoming a tough one for me because I am being torn to become my own person in my own place while watching my homegrown family transition into new phases of their life while I am choosing to grow elsewhere. This year I have truly appreciated my time at home, I have gotten to help my brother move into his first home with his wife and doodle, then later joined our first Thanksgiving shared in their walls. I have seen the changes where age is affecting the grandma I know and I know our years are thinning.

I am so grateful for the family that I have and the privilege of getting to visit home. However, my takeaway is the home I grew up in does not feel like my home anymore, but I still want to create a life where I can visit the people that still belong there.

23. The Friends that start their next chapter

This lesson is similar to the family takeaway above. This last year, I went to 4 friends' weddings in a matter of six weeks. I am that friend who will show up even if I can only go to the ceremony because I feel grateful I was invited at all. I want to live my life where their happiness and life changes don't feel like something I haven't found. I want to be better than being that person who, dare I say, has jealousy for what they have. But sadly, that little green giant reared its head right in front of my path, and by the end of the last wedding, I claimed that my "happy for everyone else meter" had run out! This doesn't mean I am not ecstatic for them, and I support all their happiness, success, and comfort of going to bed with someone in a house they share, but five stag weddings will bring out the lonely, jealous giant a bit.

I am only human, and I know, I know, my time will come, but man, it's hard to see everyone move to the next chapter of society when you aren't even reading the same book when it comes to your life!

24. Feeling sad for the lives you will not live.

Traveling the world is always a great ice breaker, so is saying you don't technically live anywhere casually over meeting new people at pickleball and then explaining your dog-sitting exchange. I have lived a year of great conversation starters, some that don't bite back and others where the conversation flourishes, I guess that's how you find your people, right?

I feel so lucky to be living the life I live, but like I've said before, as a life romanticizer, it deeply saddens me the other lives I will never live.

I photograph weddings for a living; love is the name of my game, yet I haven't felt that for myself in years. I often think about how I will never marry my high school sweetheart, let alone probably anyone I knew from that time. The connection my brother and sister-in-law have because they grew up together is unmatched, and I will never get to experience that in this lifetime. That idea makes me sad.

Sometimes, I feel scared because what if my next love isn't till I am old enough for it to no longer feel young? What if the young love I had once upon a time ago is gone, and I will never feel giddy again? That feels like a pending burden I do not want to bear.

How can I feel so amazing, I am passionate, full of love, a great friend, a good person, kind, friendly, full of dreams, holding so much potential for the right person to join my life, yet everyone else found their other half to their life story. I always say not all marriages last, but at least they got the chance to commit their love. I want that. This year's lesson feels heavy on the life you choose is another life you will never live.

25. How this year has made me feel old!

Twenty-seven. Wow, how did I ever get this old? I know to many I am still young, but I wish I could be the person I am now, at age twenty-four. Where did those years go? I find myself needing to stretch more, feeling the lack of desire for sugar anymore, and not quite feeling as mobile or agile as I was, say, five years ago. Don't get me started on not getting 8 hours of sleep. I feel like my takeaway is I finally feel like a real adult, on my own health insurance, realizing I may have to work the rest of my life to afford to live and the balance of I could accidentally die tomorrow or eventually retire. I now understand the sayings of " enjoy high school and how an 18-year-old is very much still a kid". at this point, something changes in you, hopefully for the better.

I always wondered when I would outgrow my desire for the younger guys. Well, one last bad taste of that and a new digit, you will not find me dating anyone below my age anymore. The fact that anyone over the age of 26 or 27 could date someone in their early twenties is a huge gap in lack of character and maturity, in my opinion.

26. That you are the brand you are selling and to stay true to yourself.

To go along with takeaway number four, I know that was thousands of word counts ago! If you are still here, thank you, and I hope you have taken something out of these takeaways as well! Nonetheless, in accordance, to people will believe what you tell them! I have spent countless hours on my website this year, changing it up to fit me as a photographer and match my editing style while I still figure it out. Comparing yourself in my industry is hard not to do, you see other people's work and think, what am I doing wrong, why am I not as booked and busy or consistent with my presentation as them? It's part of the pleasure of comparison!

Every time I try and mold myself to match someone else in any case, it doesn't benefit me at all and honestly causes more doubt than determination.

This takeaway is to be confident in who you are, because you aren't just selling your skill set, you are selling yourself as well. This is regarding booking clients, but this can be in any aspect of your life or interests. People would much rather hire a person who is confident in themselves and genuine to who they are than someone who is pretending to know everything. Frankly, if they still don't want you, did you really want to be a part of their regimen anyway?

I find that when you are passionate about what you do and talk about it with as many people as will ask, you stand a better chance in growing. Be who you want your business to be and attract!

27. A smile, A universal Language

We made it to takeaway number 27. Honestly, when I was starting this, I began with a quick and easy seven lessons! I quickly realized I learned a lot more than seven lessons this year!

So here we are, together! To finish this off, this lesson came during my travels as you wind up in a situation where oftentimes people don't speak the same language as you! This gives you the opportunity to learn a few of their key words such as please and thank you, hello and goodbye and if all fails a smile goes a long way.

I believe the biggest universal language is a soft smile. Being kind is a strong second. If you carry yourself with these two tricks in your pocket, you never know who you will meet and the way it will take you.

If you made it to the end of these takeaways, I am truly impressed, and you must have a higher attention span than I do! But even if you came for the headlines, I hope you keep one or two of them for yourself! A few years ago, I joined this platform with a hundred and some pages of untold poems. A fellow creator on this platform and a friend encouraged me to share my writing in hopes that it touches and gives others something to take away from it. So although Grammarly has something to say about some of my sentence structures, I hope the message comes through stronger than the run-on sentences!

Cheers to another year of dreams and takeaways!