Stitching my life back together

I first started sewing as a teenager.

I was stuck in a complicated and abusive family situation, and had to look after my younger autistic brother any time my parents weren't at home. From the time he got home from school until my parents arrived back from work and all day for most holidays, I was responsible to be there and look after him

It was a lot to handle, as an adult I'm now very aware that's because no 14 or even 16 year old should be reasonably expected to handle it. My parents couldn't even manage it without being abusive and I realize my looking after my brother was more to keep our lives secret than it was about actually doing what was best for either of us.

Something had to give, and before too long, I ended up dropping out of school to keep up with the demands of life at home. Being out of school but unable to work due to my responsibilities at home, I began to resort to a Do It Yourself approach to educate and support myself.

And that's when I discovered my love of sewing..

I started with patching and repairing my clothes to keep them from disintegrating, adding zippers and pockets and hoods, improving what little I had because I couldn't really afford to buy much new, especially with any style or specific features.

At some point, I had started collecting empty wine and beer bottles and cans to return for the 10 cent deposits, as a means of supporting myself. Soon after, I started noticing the different fabrics being discarded. Going off to rot in some landfill.

Linens, denim, old clothes, tents, leather on couches, (fake) silk curtains, backpacks, zippers, straps, buttons, clips, D and O rings.

All with wasted potential, destined for destruction and free to experiment with!

I could relate, I was struggling with my mental health to put it lightly, couldn't be bothered to think about tomorrow because I had to make a lot of reckless decisions just trying to survive today.

I started making adjustments and alterations to the clothes I'd find in the garbage to fit me and better suit my needs.

I didn't measure anything or use patterns because I had absolutely no clue how, but I had a lot of time, fabric and safety pins.

I'd put safety pins into fabric around myself and move around then adjust the fit. I made my first pair of pants this way because I didn't like the way most of my pants chaffed my legs or split at the crotch when I would skateboard. So I made sure I could do the splits while wearing them before I stitched them.

I've since altered and repaired them numerous times in the decade since I first made them, and they are approaching the end of their wearable life.

Eventually, I ended up homeless and my sewing kit was one of my most valued possessions.

I was patching my clothes while still wearing them, repairing my backpack straps before bed so I could carry it the next day. Making a waterproof sleeping bag out of an old tarp so I could stay dry while trying to sleep. Adding zippers to the legs of my pants and armpits of my sweaters to ventilate and regulate my body temperature. Learning more about which fabrics were better in the rain and cold by trial and error and valuing those above all others.

Sometimes, I would even make money by doing repairs on my friend's clothes.

My kit started with regular sewing needles but I moved on to curved and glover triangular needles after I started regularly breaking needles while sewing thicker fabrics, straps or leather.

I've always sewn by hand with waxed dental floss instead of thread, it was more durable and the thickness and bright white colour made it easier to work with, especially in the low light conditions I would often find myself in while homeless. I melt the ends into a ball with a lighter because I found it less obvious and more secure against slipping through than tying a knot.

When you carry everything on your back, stuff that serves more than one purpose is worth its weight in gold. Although I probably used more while sewing than flossing due to self neglect. The minty smell while I stitched wasn't bad either.

At first I was cutting floss and fabric with any blade available, which usually ended up being a knife of some kind. Pocket or utility knives and occasionally a switchblade or hunting knife. Keeping scissors in my bag usually ended in holes in my pack or belongings and frustration.

So I kept on using a knife, until the day I found folding scissors, and before long they were my favourite tool. All my cuts were clean and precise, with no fray. The ends of my floss went easily through the eye of my needle without stray bits catching up. (pic of scissors

World changing.

Other world changing additions to my kit include a stitching awl and a seam ripper.

The stitching awl, saving me from the cost and annoyance of breaking even my thicker curved and glover's needles on my more robust and leather projects.

Salvaging a lot of my supplies out of dumpsters and garbage cans meant I was ripping a lot of seams, my seam ripper helped me not only work faster but prevented me from accidentally cutting or damaging the fabric in the disassembling process.

Years later, I'm housed (precariously still) and do public speaking and workshops about homelessness and related topics, but sewing remains a hobby and passion of mine. I've recently enrolled in a sewing for jobs program made available through Eco-Equitable, a local women run Social enterprise that recycles fabric and other sewing supplies.

Even with the classes moved to an online format due to the pandemic, I've learned a lot so far. I can now set up, use and troubleshoot a sewing machine, and have learned the proper names for techniques and stitches I had "discovered" by trial and error over the years. I learned to use an iron, something I never would have dreamed of learning when I was sleeping on the streets.

In the near future, I would like to start a social enterprise/home business selling my own designs that I've been perfecting over the years, making custom designs to suit the needs of clients and donating some of the unsold clothing and a portion of my profits to the homeless.

Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own bodies and that's often difficult when you can't find or afford clothing that fits well, looks good and feels comfortable.