Staying on Your Own Side: Leadership Lessons from Adversity

At one point in his life, Damon West had it all. Smart, charming, handsome, and a Division I quarterback, Damon appeared destined for a future without limits. Yet on July 30, 2008, he was arrested for leading a methamphetamine-fueled burglary ring, hitting rock bottom. The man who seemingly had everything was sentenced to 65 years in prison, and his future appeared nonexistent. What came next is one of the great stories of redemption, resilience, and self-belief you will ever hear. Damon West earned parole and turned his life around.

There is a saying I always try to keep in mind: “Be kind, you never know what someone else is going through.” At some point in each of our lives, we will face adversity. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, a bad breakup, or any number of personal setbacks are things we inevitably encounter. When these moments come, each of us is faced with a choice: give up or continue to fight on. We don’t always control the outcome of events, but we do control four things: what we think, what we say, what we feel, and what we do. We must stop trying to control outcomes and other people and instead concentrate our comeback by focusing on ourselves. Here are the lessons Damon West learned through his journey of redemption.

“You don’t have to win all your fights, but you have to fight all your fights.” You can’t run from your problems; you must face them. In life, we will all encounter setbacks, and we must be prepared to never see ourselves as the victim. If you want change, you must view yourself as the victor. While in prison, West was forced to fight many times. He may have lost 75 percent of them, but the fact that he never backed down earned him the respect he needed to walk his own path.

The loss of a job, damage to one’s reputation, or financial hardship can all have a negative effect on self-confidence. It is imperative that we always stay on our own side. We can never allow ourselves to become incarcerated in our own minds. In life, situations are rarely as bad as we initially believe them to be. To turn events in our favor, we must look for the positives and view adversity as an opportunity. Situations don’t happen to you; they happen for you. How we frame adversity sets the tone for how we respond to it.

The way we present ourselves is paramount to shaping our mindset. First, we must carry ourselves with positive body language; it is the energy we put into the world that often comes back to us. West points to the importance of working on yourself in 3 key areas; constantly improving mentally, physically, and spiritually. Striving for constant self-improvement and being a lifelong learner strengthens us mentally. Working out keeps us physically fit and sharp, and having faith gives people the belief that they are never alone.

Damon also stresses the importance of servant leadership. When you feel helpless, be helpful. One of the most rewarding ways to accomplish our goals is by helping others achieve theirs. Finally, remember who you are. The voice that matters most is your inner voice - the one that has always been with you, the one that believed in you when you were a kid. The juice of life comes from overcoming fear, rejection, and adversity. This is where true satisfaction is found.

Damon West earned his master’s degree and has gone on to become a best-selling author, college instructor, and motivational speaker. He is on parole for the rest of his life, and he has chosen to use his second chance to change the lives of others. Your adversity will come too. Be prepared to think positively, stay on your own side, and gain inspiration by being the inspiration.

George Carralejo