Speak-Up Superpower

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where there’s a group of people standing around talking and you're there acting like some kind of mute nobody. You feel like you’re not worthy of contributing to the conversation because really, who would want to listen to you anyways?

What value does your voice bring to the conversation?

If you’re anything like me, you have these internal conversations while people are talking and laughing around you. Comments like:

• "No one is even interested in talking to me"
• "What I want to say is stupid and won’t make any sense"
• "What if I miss the point of what I’m trying to say and everyone just stares at me?"
• "No one values me enough for my opinion"
• "How do I get out of here before someone notices me...Eeek!"

This is a tragic way to speak to yourself, but I completely recognize the internal dialect. Still to this day I struggle with feelings of being rejected or shunned from conversations.

"How do other people around me talk so freely; so easily. Why wasn’t I gifted this superpower?"

Slow Down

Allow your mouth to catch up to your brain. Sometimes the anxiousness of speaking in front of others will create a brain to mouth defect. You begin speaking gibberish because all the sudden you’re in the spotlight, all eyes are on you. You lose control of your thoughts, foret what you were going to say, and stumble out of the conversation.

I remember when I’d make phone calls in the past, I’d literally jot down what I was going to say on paper in preparation. It didn’t matter if I was booking a doctor’s appointment or getting my car serviced. I needed that lifeline. Essentially a backup for my brain. It’s funny to think of it now, but it sure did help in the process of allowing me to slow down.

Just Breathe

You believe you have something valid to say, but feel overwhelmed with the possibility of looking or saying something stupid. All the sudden, your heart beats faster, your palms get sweaty and your breathing is erratic. Why can’t you catch your breath? In a matter of seconds, you’ve visualized the conversation in your head, you’ve rehearsed what you were going to say, it sounds legit but for some reason you’re being smothered by your own breath.

Ok, calm down, focus on the inhale, exhale. Give yourself permission to gather your emotions, and your breath, before speaking up. When you are ready to, that’s when you follow through. And hey, if you’re not ready this time, maybe next time. Build up the courage to speak, but don’t forget to breathe in the process.

Let Go Of Response Outcomes

Share for the sake of sharing. Learn to accept that what you have to say doesn’t necessarily need to be followed with a response from others. Allow yourself to contribute to the conversation without emotional attachments to interfere in the process. If there’s no response from the people you’re speaking with, just know that what you have to say matters too, your voice matters! Learning to let go of response outcomes is definitely a factor in building confidence in your own voice.

This did not come easy for me. Over the years, if I spoke and got no response in return, it just left me feeling inadequate and unsure of my own thoughts. It felt as though my comments needed to be validated by other people’s response. Looking back now, what a disservice I was presenting to myself and my peers by now allowing myself to just let go of the ramifications of the response outcomes. Give yourself permission to speak up.

Witness the shift of your own voice. Words are powerful and our minds are beautiful, allow them to connect to build yourself up.

Point to Ponder

Let go of who you think you are, and how you think others perceive you. With this, you will begin building a stronger, more positive voice, ultimately a healthier mind. Be kind to yourself in the process and know that you’re just one decision away from devine communication.

So...You Gotta Get Out of Your Pajamas Girl!