A Job Is A Job

Does this sound familiar?

“I hate my job”

“I hate my boss”

“I hate the company I work for”

Like so many others, I too feel this way more often than not. It’s something that consumes my thoughts almost on a daily basis. I can be sitting home enjoying my evening then out of nowhere my mind shifts to the idea of returning to work and instantly I start doubting my professional choices.

Now I’m aware hating your job is a pretty common human reaction, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I mean, considering you spend half your day doing work that you get no satisfaction from, under a person you have not much respect for, all for a company that just treats you like a number. It’s a toxic environment and you feel trapped because you have bills to pay and people to feed.

Now, there was a time I’d show up ready to work, happy just to be there. This is what we’re supposed to do right? Find a job, show up, make money, go home. Lately, that is so much easier said than done.

But why? What has shifted my mentality. Why can’t I just accept that this is where I need to be if I want to move ahead in life. I’m constantly having internal conversations that insist I can do better, be better but I just don’t follow through with my intuition.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my life. Mainly my home life. It’s filled with laughter and love and everything in between. I love exploring the great outdoors with my family and savoring the quiet times to myself at home. But then there’s work. My biggest nemesis lately. The thought of waking up early, punching a time clock, working around people, lunch breaks, meetings and fake smiling because you have to present yourself appropriately in the workforce is grueling. By the end of the day I’m exhausted just from trying to remain focused on the tasks at hand, and that’s when boredom sets in. I know they say you should live in the moment, but my goodness, when I’m at work I want to be anywhere else but there. Obviously I know I should be grateful for everything I’ve worked so hard for in life and accomplished, but at the end of the day it’s just not fulfilling.

It’s rather an endless cycle of disappointments. The “coulda, woulda, shoulda’s” come into play. Could I have pushed myself harder to try something new? Would I have done something greater if I just let go of financial expectations? Should I let it all go now and start over? It’s terrifying. The thought of starting over.

Here’s the thing. I am not getting any younger and time is ticking. I don’t want to regret shifting gears for my own personal gain, but at the same time, I just can’t let myself down any longer. I look in the mirror and am disappointed in my reflection. She’s a woman who has succeeded, but empty on the inside, longing for more. But the big question is...what? What more am I looking for? That’s the million dollar question.

One quote that really speaks to me lately is,

When you start to do the things you truly love,

It wouldn’t matter if it’s a Monday or Friday; you

would be so excited to wake up each morning

to work on your passions

Oh yes, my passions. That’s where I need to begin. But what are they and how do I convert these passions into a profession?

Clearly I have my work cut out for me.

But for now, I will show up to work everyday. Play their game. Come home and do the work that will take me further in life and in happiness. It’s my mission to become the best version of me.

I know I can’t be the only person in this position, or place in life. I just have to focus on me for once, and push through the emotional turmoil that presents itself right now.

Note to self: We are all worthy of divine greatness!

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life” - Confucius