Self-Isolation? Completed it mate!

You're probably thinking: self-isolation is new government advice, how can she be a pro? Alas, my friend, I have known the ways of the house hobbit long before now. I am a fully fledged member of the 'at risk' category. Hello, hi, nice to meet you. Although i am twenty-three and seemingly fit & able to string a sentence together without spouting nonsense about immigration or offering you a Werther's Originals, I am in fact, at risk. I suffer with a list of chronic conditions about the length of my arm that are all, unfortunately for me, invisible (though I could show you the bruises from recent blood tests).

The advice from our Government to self-isolate and practice social distancing is to protect our most vulnerable. So, you're not 'brave' for going to the pub for a swift half, you're just a dick. To persuade more dicks to stay home and self isolate, I've put together a list of things that will help your sanity when in the confines of your own home.

Routine. Some of the lucky few are able to work from home, thus are adjusting to writing group office emails in their pyjamas. Whether you need to or not, get up before 9am, make your bed, shower and get dressed (even if it's into a fresh set of pyjamas). Routine is vital to our mental health and you get little victories from things like brushing your teeth.

Good grub. Make the most of your kitchen and learn to cook delicious, healthy foods that will support your immune system and keep your mind ticking over. A plateful of turkey dinosaurs and a massive blob of ketchup might seem like a good idea at first but TRUST ME it'll make you feel worse. Or just ignore me and learn for yourself (you've got time).

Sleep well. Bit of an obvious one. Don't do an all-nighter binging on YouTube videos of cats just because you don't have work tomorrow. Sleep around 8 hours and get up when your alarm goes off.

Social Media. Utilise this time to connect with your mates. This goes for using your phone to make calls too. Not called your parents in a while? How is your friend abroad holding up? Fancy winging to your mates about football or events being postponed?

Masturbation and sex. Not just because you're bored- some studies show it can boost your immune system. Intimacy with your partner can also help deal with you living in each others presence 24/7. It also releases dopamine; which brings me onto my next point.

Sweat. Run up and down the stairs. Take your dog for a walk. Yoga. HIIT. Sweat and you'll be grateful you did.

Watch films, read books, read articles that aren't about COVID-19, watch documentaries about our planet, write, make art, do a silly dance in your pants! It'll all blow over soon! And if it doesn't... now you know how it feels!