Scissors: The Tool of a Polymath.

My childhood was stolen from me earlier than the age of four. An orphan by choice, a young man without blood-kin I blew the bridge that had once connected us, one of broken cobblestone, shaky and unsafe.

I ran from my family at the age of 18 and swore in as a United States Marine recruit. Initially, I thrived, strong and proud. I proved everyone who did not believe in me wrong. I had finally found a family in my Marine Corps brothers and sisters. I wasn’t out as a FTM trans man yet, instead I was a hyper-feminine presenting female. I was trained from early childhood to be a beautiful tool...a man’s prize.

I was assaulted by a superior on numerous occasions, each far more painful and terrifying than the last. He humiliated me around my peers and convinced them to bully and shun me. Suddenly I found myself alone in the world. I was 19 years old and many States away from the only “home” I ever knew. I caved under the immense weight of my suffering. Psychic constructs in my psychic world came crashing down. Memories of the horrific atrocities committed against myself and others flooded back.

I had my first breakdown which led me to spiral into the darkest recesses of my psyche. I was alone with repeating memories that felt, sounded and looked real. I watched helplessly as my sanity frayed layer by layer. I attempted to take my life on numerous occasions, believing death was the only escape from my living horror movie. My agony was far too much for me to handle and the military wasn’t providing me the support I needed.

My medical discharge was processed very quickly. Before I knew what was happening I was a civilian again. They say they prepare you for the culture shock before they release you, but when you’re a perpetual psychiatric patient you aren’t afforded such a luxury. The following years of my life were further clouded with abusive relationships, drug addiction, more sexual assaults and a miscarriage. Then, in later years I birthed two miracle children and came out as a trans man afterwards. As you can see, I am no stranger to pain, suffering or monstrous things one person can do to another. Some people watch horror movies (including myself) and then some of us live them.

Even though my beginnings were filled with abandonment, violence and loss, I found solace to survive. I had a raw need to create, compose, express and transform myself from the ashes. I am a polymath, someone who has many skills and I am never satisfied which leads me to perpetually pursue different media, tools, techniques, designs and inventions. I create because it has saved my life countless times.

From acrylic paint to charcoal to oil pastels, I use a growing array of creative tools. One such tool is my scissors. They are the perfect tool for a polymath because of their versatility. I use my scissors to make costumes of characters I cosplay; this allows me to embody characters who speak to my soul. I use them to cut ribbons, cords, paper and fabric. When I create hand-made tarot cards or wands, I need my scissors. I cut fun objects to squish into the wet paint when I am working on multi-media paintings. My collection of scissors come in handy no matter what artistic project I am currently immersed in.

I wanted to share one last detail about scissors, particularly Friskars scissors. My early educational years were spent in Catholic school. The nuns slapped and screamed when I wrote and cut with my left hand. I was isolated to the back of the classroom and forced to use my right hand. It was painful and confusing, but eventually I grew to use my right hand primarily.

Years later, I decided to give my left hand another chance. I began practicing writing, drawing, painting and cutting with my left hand. The cutting part was so hard because left-handed scissors are not easy to find-- especially high quality ones. One day, I ventured into an old A.C. Moore where I found a pair of Friskars left handed craft scissors. I nearly screamed from excitement. I bought them and have used them ever since. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping this lefty improve his ambidexterity.

Scissors are important for most artists, but for me, they are crucial. They allow me to combat my mental illnesses and save my life time after time after time. Truly, scissors are this polymath’s tool of choice.