Remaking Me

I have attempted many a “fresh start” in the past only to lose motivation and enthusiasm along the way and I succumbed to a rotten end. Birthday after birthday, new year after new year, it was the same. I had made promises to myself but failed to deliver. I had focused my aim but fell short of the target.

Like me, you’ve probably found yourself wanting to change your life in one aspect and/or another. For a lot of people, it happens some time just before January 1 of the next year. Do you remember the feeling? You start off with a huge volume of confidence and vigour inside. At times you might have even felt invincible, feeling highly competent that you will prevail and conquer as you commence on a new journey of change. And so we thought.

Perhaps you’ve said to yourself that you would exercise more to transform your boring figure to some physique of noticeable attraction. Maybe you’ve decided to stick to a diet plan to lose some weight. Or, having bravely confronted your financial statements, you’ve probably said to yourself, “I’m going to spend less and save more.” I’ve made these resolutions before and I’ve failed to keep them.

We’ve all failed to fulfil some of our own resolutions in the past, but I’d like to let you in on a simple, little secret that can help you better succeed in your resolutions. It helped me, maybe it’d do the same for you.

I will share a resolution I have made in the past, then I will disclose my secret principle, and then the principle in application.

THE RESOLUTION

My New Year’s resolution for 2020 was the same one I had made in 2019, 2018 and 2017. For the past three years before 2020, I have wanted to spend less and save more. But like many of you out there I too have failed. I’ve spent more and saved less. For three years I hadn’t saved a significant amount worth boasting about. I did feel terrible about it and I knew I had to change my financial habits. In the year 2020 I did just that, and I’m going to share the principle that made me a hopeless saver to a professional saver (if such title even exists).

THE PRINCIPLE

In wanting to make a change in your life, begin by not only asking the question, “What am I going to do?” but also, “Who do I want to be?” You see, when we decide to make a fresh start in our lives we are not only attempting to change our behaviours but also our being; not just how we live but who we are as persons. It’s probably why we are not called “human doings” but instead “human beings.”

The phrase “to do” pertains to behaviour or a certain course of action, but the phrase “to be” pertains to something deeper, namely our very being. It concerns who we are as individuals. So, the next time you think about changing your life, think not only in terms of behaviour or lifestyle but also of being. The better question to ask is not, “What will I do?” but rather, “Who do I want be?”

THE PRINCIPLE APPLIED

At first, when I thought about wanting to spend less and save more, I viewed such resolution in terms of actions and result. If I spent less money each month I would have more money at the end to tuck away into my savings. If I stick to my budgets, I would know exactly how much I could be saving. As simple as that sounds, saving was a hard undertaking. I’m sure many of you would agree.

In my desperation for change, I began to think beyond the question of what I should be doing, to eventually asking the question, “Who do I want to be?” I discovered that every attempt for change should be backed by a reason for our being. For example, I wanted to save more money and the reason behind that was no longer to just simply have more money at the end of each month, but more rewardingly, is that I would become a man with self-control. Here, I have not only purposed for external, material gains but also for intrinsic satisfaction. My aspiration to be has strengthened my will to do.

2020 has been the best year so far for my savings account.

THE PRINCIPLE TO THE THREE MOST POPULAR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

Let’s apply the principle to three of the most popular resolutions that people make and that I have made in the past. I hope these simple examples could help you word your reasons behind your resolutions.

The most popular resolution people make is to “exercise more to get in shape.” The first thing people typically think of are: gym membership, exercise programmes, exercise schedules, etc. Oh, and also how good they hope to look as a result. But for me, as soon as I think of changing one department of my life, I think of the question “who do I want to be?” So, in this example, I would word it this way: I want to exercise more not only to get in shape but because I want to be a man of balance.

The second most popular resolution is to “diet to lose weight.” If I were to make this resolution, I would say that I not only want to lose weight but because I want to be temperate.

And the third resolution is to “save more.” I would say, I not only want to save more money but I want to be a man of self control.

In applying the principle, it’s important to include the two words “to be” somewhere in your wording. You decide how you want to word your reasonings behind your resolutions.

Remember, think not only in terms of what you desire to do, but who you aspire to be.

CONCLUSION

This principle has made me more successful in my attempts to making specific changes in my life and, in sharing this principle, I hope it can help someone out there fulfil the change that they want in theirs’.

Whatever your “to be” reason is, let it be meaningful to you.

LATEST UPDATE

For this year 2021, my resolution is to read and write more so as to be a man of calm, thought, and creativity.

I am overly grateful for Vocal+ for the platform through which we all can be inspired by creators and for the opportunity to share our own creative ideas.

Lastly, yes, I am still making good savings.