Release the Fear of Not Measuring Up and Share Your Light

I believe it is part of human nature to seek love and connect with others. For some of us this comes naturally and more abundantly than it does for others.

The thing we all share is that sometimes in our life journey, there will come a time when our confidence is at the interrogation table.

I vividly remember the first time my self-confidence shook. I was seven years old and full of energy, health, and good old joy.

I spent countless hours in the summer skipping rope, cycling, playing tag with the neighbors' children, and recently discovered the art of making wheelbarrows on the back grass - stop chasing!

At the time we lived in a duplex. My mother was a single mother. My father died when I was only six months old, leaving me and my older brother, Eric.

Of course I didn't understand it at the time, but while my mother was a wonderful mother, I had no role model in my life and I must have really felt that loss.

My mother and I have been sharing giggling stories since I was two years old. With great enthusiasm I walked out onto the street during a holiday show to prove my love or the "wuv" of the police and firefighters as they passed by.

It just so happened that we had a policeman sitting next to us. It was a warm summer night and he had guests in his bar enjoying the barbecue. I also went outside again, completing my quarter-wheel drive.

I remember preparing to show them my newly developed skills. I gathered them together and deliberately removed our lumpy, soft grass and looked down at their deck.

I gave them a decent wheel one after the other, without a break in the middle, until I reached the end of the grass and the beginning of the berry tree.

I turned and faced them smiling triumphantly and silently saying “ta-da!” but instead of receiving applause and acceptance, I was met with ridicule and ridicule: “Whoa, who is this who is showing off!”

I was immediately taken aback and completely crushed.

I vividly remember feeling a heavy hole in my stomach, and the accompanying bite of tears and pain I struggled with as the heat from my stomach to my cheeks. At the age of seven I stopped when my heart was open, I just wanted to be allowed to feel beaten up and embarrassed.

Go on for another twenty-eight years and it all sounds silly to me now, yet somehow the injury is still too early for me to remember.

This, in fact, was not what taught me a great life lesson to express and respect my worth as a person.

That comes much later with extensive bruises, lumps and bruises, but this memory is the one that stands out because for the first time I thought to myself “Maybe I'm not good enough, and maybe I never will be. ”

I do not believe that there is anyone outside who does not have this inner child who longs for the assurance that they are alive. Most of us have at one time or another experienced something far behind the line, leaving the question of whether we are good enough or not.

I think we all carry these wounds. Some of us face unthinkable situations and suffer deeper wounds and fears than others.

I think the point is, at any given moment we are surrounded by others who feel insecure and unloved, who worry about qualifying for membership and are unable to relate to what could be one of our biggest concerns.

I just can't help but think that if we all gave ourselves permission to not be so hard on ourselves, or with each other, the ride would be a little gentle. When we return to that place in life where our heart is open, we are less likely to criticize others.

The simple act of sharing a heartfelt smile with a stranger on the street, or complimenting a young child on the full significance of who he or she is, is empowering and contagious.

When we release our grip on fear of looking foolish or unequal, and instead share our light and love with others, the magic of life seems to come naturally.

The best part is, we help give others the courage to do the same, to find a way back to remembering how wonderful and worthy they are right now.

I have to add that even though I have never been a skilled fitness trainer, I will sometimes pull my steering wheel off the cart with my kids, or on the beach just because. Now I always follow it with a “ta-da” and pat on the back that I deserve to be a real person.