Hate birthdays.
I like to recall memories, thoughts, streams of consciousnesses from previous diary entries as a reminder of the person I was and who I am today. Thus, as my birthday comes near, I wanted to take the chance to carefully reflect on this specific past year. I've always hated birthdays ever since I was little. The unnecessary attention, fake smiles, empty congratulatory words, and eyes full of scrutiny always made me question what good came from their gifts, while silently questioning what I did wrong. Of course, it could have been my imagination (and probably was), but ever since that revelation, I always feel this dread and despair inside of me every time my birthday approaches. I would think to myself, "that day is slowly coming" and "oh god, it's here". But this year was different.
It was a different hatred I had for my upcoming birthday. It had nothing to do with those around me and those imaginative actions, but actually, all the hatred I felt came from within me. Although I still hated the fact that I was reminded of another year bypassing me with no regret, I began to really question, why do I hate this day so much? Was it because I was slowly but surely aging? Due to the undeniable fact that I was becoming more weak physically & mentally? Or maybe because I haven't truly experienced love yet or perhaps the abruptness that I might in fact, never get married? But no, the reasons were none of these. I believe it's because I have yet to accomplish something great where I can truly feel proud of and give myself a true "pat on the back". Sure, I may have progressed in increments but these were only baby steps, and in my eyes, these accomplishments aren't something to overwhelmingly rejoice in.
However, instead of pinpointing all the disappointments and depression like how I have written in my diary entries, instead, I want to take the time to recall all the good I have gained or learned in the past year. I say and feel as though nothing has changed, but everyday, moment by moment, seconds of each day, we are changing and I really want to think hard on the good I've earned, what I've learned, and how I decided to take this information forward starting the new year.
Know yourself.
First and foremost, I've learned a bit more about myself. From a deeper sense, I've learned that I am unrealistically confident and I can't seem to properly distinguish between what I can do well and cannot do well. This brings me to a pit of despair when I ultimately fail at something I thought I could handle, but truthfully, could not. Although being confident is good, I tend to take that out of proportions and lose myself to goals that could not possibly be achieved. A perfect example of this would be my failed college experience. I thought I had it under control and fell victim to my over-assertive goals, and lost myself. I fell into laziness and procrastination when all seemed doom to fail and gave up easily. If only I wasn't delusional, then I might have done a better job, which would have opened more career paths after graduation. Although I do have my fair share of hardships that could be seen as excuses, I cannot deny the fact that college was my responsibility and I don't have anyone to blame. Nevertheless, I was still able to graduate and learned some valuable lessons through that experience.
As I struggling with a crap load of stuff right now (as most of us are), I realized that I should seriously be faithful in the small things right now, for they could become so beneficial to me in the future. Although these tasks may be time consuming and considered useless, I refuse to believe I have been instructed with these responsibilities for no reason. Easier said than done, it is extremely hard to wake up with a positive mindset every day and tackle your problems. But then, just because you sleep your problems away doesn't mean they truly go away. The day-night cycle continues and sooner or later, you are going to face that responsibility and pay the price for your laziness. Instead of regretting it later on, get it done now. There is so much I want to get done and accomplish, but the chances always seem to be slipping from my fingers which gets me so upset. I hate to admit the jealously I have for those people my age who already earned their success, fame, and money. While I don't bother for the first two, the latter is always on my mind because that is essential, isn't it? Sometimes, I really just want to shake my fist at God and say, "Do Something", but then I realized that God only gives you what you can handle. He only gives you responsibilities that you are capable of achieving. Therefore, the question is, are you prepared enough?
Achieve those goals.
Take this one year to prepare for the future. Stop being lazy, learn from your mistakes, reflect, constantly be inspired, and invest in knowledge. Don't be arrogant and prideful because that leads to nowhere. Know yourself and know your limits. You see something that you desire? Then reach for it, because all you need is to start that drive. Be a person that kills themselves for success, be considered an extremist, be someone that validates their ideals through their actions. Have that ambition to get up every day and accomplish what they do best. Even though you struggle, always be the first to do something - whether the result may be right or wrong.
About the Creator
Verona
Hi! I am a 25 year old working a normal corporate job who has a kink in twisting irony with a fresh prespective. If you get me, kudos to you.
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Unplugged - Fireworks
Put the phone down. While most choose to automatically whip out their phones and tries to take pictures of something beautiful that will fade all too quickly, I choose not to. Sometimes, you have to let life work its magic and allow yourself to be surprised and in awe of the wonders of nature. I take fireworks as an example - although you have seen fireworks displayed many times, we can coherently agree that not one firework looks the same. Therefore, when you witness something so beautiful and amazing, why not just be aware of your environment, company, atmosphere, and just enjoy the moment without giving in to the urge of constantly taking pictures. No matter how many pictures you take, you'll never be able to feel the same anyways, so just put the phone down. Instead, bask in the moment, don't miss any second of the moment, embrace the person you became prior to this moment, feel connected with those who are enjoying the moment with you, gives thanks that you are alive to experience this moment, and give a silent prayer to welcome even more moments like these in the future.
By Verona 6 years ago in Motivation
“He Kept Going When No One Was Watching — And That Changed Everything”
No one ever noticed the days he almost gave up. There were no messages asking if he was okay. No one wondered why he became quieter. No one asked how much effort it took just to keep going. To the world, he was just another ordinary man. His name was Ayaan. Ayaan’s life didn’t collapse in one dramatic moment. It slowly faded. Missed opportunities. Rejected ideas. Silent disappointments. Every failure was small, but together they became heavy. He had dreams once. Big ones. Dreams that kept him awake at night, imagining a future where his hard work would finally matter. But over time, those dreams began to feel unrealistic—almost embarrassing. People around him seemed to move forward effortlessly. They celebrated promotions, achievements, and milestones. Ayaan watched from the side, smiling politely while feeling invisible. At work, his efforts were ignored. Among friends, his voice faded. At home, expectations weighed heavily on him. Slowly, a dangerous thought settled into his mind: “Maybe I’m not good enough.” That thought followed him everywhere. It followed him on crowded buses. It followed him into sleepless nights. It followed him every time he tried again and failed. One night, after scrolling through endless success stories online, Ayaan closed his phone and stared at the dark ceiling. His chest felt tight, not because of pain—but because of exhaustion. He whispered quietly, “How long do I keep trying?” There was no answer. But that night, Ayaan made a decision—not a loud one, not a confident one. A tired decision. He decided to keep going, even if nothing changed. The next morning felt the same. The same routine. The same doubts. The same fear of wasting his life. But Ayaan showed up anyway. He worked when no one praised him. He studied when no one guided him. He practiced when no one believed in him. Some days, motivation disappeared completely. On those days, discipline took over. He reminded himself: “I don’t need applause. I need progress.” Weeks passed. Nothing dramatic happened. No sudden success. No recognition. No miracle. But something subtle began to shift. Ayaan became calmer under pressure. He learned to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. He stopped comparing his journey to others. The silence that once scared him now became his training ground. Months later, a serious problem appeared at his workplace. It was complicated, risky, and easy to blame on someone else. Most people avoided it. Some pretended it wasn’t their responsibility. Ayaan didn’t announce himself. He didn’t seek attention. He simply started working. Late nights. Mistakes. Corrections. Learning. There were moments he wanted to quit. Moments when fear whispered, “You’re not ready.” But he answered back, “I’ll learn.” Slowly, the problem began to disappear. Not perfectly—but steadily. People noticed, quietly. One afternoon, his manager called him into the office. Ayaan expected criticism. Instead, he heard a question that stunned him: “Where did you learn all this?” Ayaan paused. How could he explain years of silent effort? How could he explain working when no one cared? He simply replied, “I kept going.” That moment didn’t change his life overnight. He didn’t become famous. He didn’t suddenly become successful. But it changed something far more important. His belief in himself. For the first time, Ayaan understood that life doesn’t always reward effort immediately. Sometimes, it watches. It watches who continues without praise. Who improves without recognition. Who grows in silence. Years later, Ayaan looked back at the version of himself who almost quit. The man who felt invisible. The man who thought no one was watching. And he smiled. Because he finally understood the truth: Life was always watching. Not to judge. Not to rush. But to see if he would keep going when it was hardest. The world doesn’t reward those who only work when they’re seen. It rewards those who build strength in silence. And sometimes, the moment that changes everything doesn’t come with applause. It comes quietly. After patience. After effort. After consistency. That is when everything finally begins to change. Final Message Keep going—even when no one is watching. Especially then.
By Inayat khan5 days ago in Motivation
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