Quick-sand

Recently I find that my get up and go is getting up and going. One foot out of the door, threatening to leave. I find myself constantly circling back to this point of desperation where I realise that something must be done in order to fix this relationship. Desperate to win back that spark, that chemistry. Freeing myself from the limited version of life that I'm currently living; the self-imposed limitations, the fear, the fatigue. Crippling.

Potential hobbies are the new travel brochures. Do I dip into the clear blue lagoons of water-colour painting, the calming mountain retreat of yoga or country escape of park runs. Places to ooo and aaaa at put never get down to booking the flight! Trashy TV series and social media threatening to drag me under like the Bermuda Triangle. Blub blub blub. They are my quick-sand. The old familiar feeling of slowly feet sinking under, the heavy pull to get off the ground. Like slipping into the calming lull of hypnosis. Think of the toddler whose cries and are silenced by the TV or the iPad, idly sitting and consuming content.

With the stack of books piling up on my bedside table, and the daily yoga routine slipping away... I feel my mind slipping into old familiar patterns, falling into regrets and embarrassing moments, fears and insecurities. My life well and truly stagnating before my eyes as I sit and wonder and question.

Time goes so damn fast, minutes and hours and days and weeks slipping away without any outstanding moments or progress towards accomplishments. Cue mental images of Salvador Dali's skulls and melting clocks. But time is a precious and limited resource and I want to make sure I milk it for all it's worth.

I want to live a more imaginative and inspiring life. I feel like time is slowly pulling me under, as time passes I sink deeper and deeper, my mobility becoming more and more compromised. Like a lost soul desperately hoping and waiting to be pulled out of this empty vacuum. The empty vacuum of social media, online adds, streaming sites, YouTube videos.

I want to be a dreamer, to find my spark of inspiration. I want to create a beautiful vision and try and put it out into the world. This will take:

1. CREATIVITY.

Creativity and imagination are what I'm hoping to keep alive here. I want to put something exciting and novel into the world, to leave a mark somehow. That takes trying to do things differently, not being sucked into my comforts.

2. REALISATION AND THOUGHT ACTIVITIES

I read an article on finding inspiration which referenced a specific thought activity. If you, on your deathbed, were faced by a magical being who offered up the opportunity to turn an egg timer and for you to live your life over and over again would you take that opportunity? Would the thought of living your life over excite you? If not then that is a clear warning sign that something is going wrong. You're clearly living a life that makes you unhappy.

So, now that you've come to a realisation you need...

3. ACTION.

Whilst sparks of mental inspiration can feel nice. Inspiration is nothing without action. I've found that action in itself if something that can spark further inspiration and push me on to trying different things. When we feel that we are progressing it's a feeling that can become contagious. Go for a run, find a new recipe to cook, try yoga, stretching, art.

Speaking for myself, I've found that running is something that has really helped to keep some level of my get-up-and-go alive! I've started out on a beginner's running programme which is really helping me to feel that I have a goal to strive for. Buying a second hand Garmin watch on Ebay to help me track factors such as pace, speed and distance covered has motivated me further to get out there and push myself to try and achieve personal bests. It gives me something to look forward to every other day.

But progress and movement looks different for us all. Wake up, chuck some records on, have a boogie and go where ever the flow takes you. Dress up, grab that hoover and dance around like Freddie Mercury to I Want to Break Free.

So here I am, trying to break my creative drought, booking that flight and jumping into the river of flow. I'm fighting for my get-up-and-go.

“Throw yourself into the river of life and let the questions disappear” – Buddha

“I will not die an unlived life” – Dawna Markova

"What hunger is about food, zest is about life" - Bertrand Russell