Put a Little Love in Your Heart

Music is the single most important emotional balancer in my life. Music has been my constant companion through the heartbreak of divorcing my children's substance abusing father, the horror of learning that genetics can wreak havoc on the best laid plans of a well-meaning parent, and the pain of two divorces in between. It never cheated on me, used me, treated me poorly, or left me!

To manage a day filled with chaos, the soulful, wispy notes of Van Morrison's Into the Mystic or the Brigham Young University - Vocal Point A Capella choir's It is Well with My Soul centers my mind like no medication or therapy can. Music helps you reconnect with your soul and recompose your thoughts from the chaos of the world. It also softens your edge and reopens your mind to joy. I credit my love of music to my father, mainly.

Dad was an accountant and a project manager in the oil and gas industry, but music was his true passion. Imagine having Elton John for a father. Dad is that good and in fact does play as well. He is one of those great musical geniuses in life unknown to the world.

Dad has the gift of being able to hear a song and play it exactly as he hears it. Sometimes he adds his own notes and it sounds even better. He also writes and composes his own music. As a young child, I would lay awake at night for a bit listening to him perfectly execute a song on the piano and sing. His vocal sound can be compared to that of James Taylor. In fact, James Taylor was one of the musicians and vocalist he most admired. This was my lullaby. I fell asleep moved and peaceful each night.

Dad traded fame and a career in music for family and fatherhood. He would never say that, but I know this to be true. He is a beautiful dreamer and musical artist who chose to take care of his family first. Stories from my grandmother were that he took eleven years of piano instruction. His piano instructor struggled to teach him to read music because he would listen to the tune and play the entire song without ever turning a page. But she wanted him to learn to read and compose music, so she strictly enforced it! He also built a mini-music studio in the basement of each house we lived. This was his refuge from the nine-to-five life.

In the late sixties, Dad was part of a band that signed with a label in Atlanta, GA. This occurred the same year the Vietnam war broke out. His band opened for the Tams and the Temptations during that period. Unfortunately, the twin lead singers and most of the band were drafted. Dad was not drafted. He tried to sign up but was denied. He had a leg that was shorter than the other and a life-altering knee injury due to a motorcycle accident. He spent 6 months in a hospital bed and multiple surgeries recovering from that accident.

At the time of the Vietnam War draft, being rejected by the military was upsetting to him. For a young man during that era, it was heart wrenching. He watched his best friends go off to war but could not fight along side them. Even more heartbreaking for him was to see them come back traumatized. When the twins from his original band returned, they had too much trauma to pull the band back together. Dad never could recapture the magic and dynamic of that first band. This troubled him for years.

Through out the rest of his life, Dad continued to play in bands, including Southern Rock and later gospel. He also introduced and immersed his three daughters in the love of music. He helped develop and encourage our musical skills and talents, as we all acquired some form of his talent. I sang and played the piano. My youngest sister played the flute. My middle sister was amazingly gifted with the bulk of his talent. She can beautifully play nearly any instrument you hand to her. He transferred his love and passion for music to our hearts and minds. This was his gift to us.

As the years moved on, I encountered the harsh realities of life such as family problems, financial stresses, and career stresses. I tried a variety of ways to manage emotionally and mentally. I had counseling. I tried reading, exercise, and other forms of stress relief. All of these modes of stress relief were helpful. However, nothing does the trick like an evening lost in beautiful melodies.

In the harshest and most painful times of my life, music was the only thing that could adequately sooth me and truly balance my emotions and mind. If I have reached a breaking point, I go to my desk computer, put in my head phones, and pull up my playlist. My stress almost immediately begins to drop and I feel the utmost grounding and peace. If I could compare the feeling to anything it would be to a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea when you are feeling sick. It is comfort and therapy wrapped in one.

I get lost in the musical notes and the soothing voices of my favorite artists. By the same token, if I need some energy or motivation, I can put on Barry White's My Everything, an upbeat Elvis tune, Beach Boys, or Frankie Valli tune to put some "pep in my step". Earth Wind and Fire's September is another peppy tune that gets me going.

Most of the music I mention are "oldies" by today's standards. "Oldies" are tunes I grew up listening to with my father. What can be more soothing or uplifting than great tunes and memories with your parents? But I enjoy newer music too. I have a wide range of taste when it comes to music and it varies from different decades and in different genres.

In conclusion, it has been proven that music has a profound effect on our brain waves. This I know to be true. But it also taps into your heart and soul. When I am feeling flat or empty, tired or stressed, I just put in a great tune. Suddenly, I am transported to a feeling of love, serenity, peace, or energy. For a moment, I forget all of my stresses, worries, or concerns. It is also much healthier than medication or alcohol.

If you have no romance in your life, romance yourself with a beautiful song. That is the beauty of music. Music is written and composed of musical notes and words that are poured from the heart and soul of the composer. When there is no love and comfort from another human, music can put a little love back in your heart. Take that gift and give it to yourself. You deserve it and it works!