Posting on Social Media Makes Me Feel Foolish

I look back on those days with a mix of amusement and embarrassment. What was I trying to prove, anyway? That I had a perfect life? That I was happy all the time? That I was worthy of love and acceptance?

But the truth is, I was trying to convince myself of those things, not others. I was trying to fill a void, to distract myself from the emptiness I felt inside. I was trying to prove to myself that I was enough, that my life was enough.

And yet, the more I posted, the more I felt like I was living a lie. The more I tried to present this perfect image, the more I felt like I was hiding my true self. The more I tried to connect with others through social media, the more I felt disconnected from the world around me.

It's funny, isn't it? We think that by sharing our lives with others, we'll feel more connected, more seen, more heard. But the truth is, we're just hiding behind a screen, afraid to be our true selves. We're afraid to show our imperfections, our flaws, our quirks. We're afraid to be vulnerable.

But vulnerability is where the true connection happens. Vulnerability is where we find true intimacy, true friendship, true love. Vulnerability is where we find ourselves.

I remember when I first started using social media. I was excited to connect with old friends, to make new ones, to share my life with others. But soon, it became an obsession. I found myself constantly checking my accounts, constantly comparing myself to others, constantly feeling like I wasn't enough.

I would post a picture, and if it didn't get enough likes, I would feel like a failure. I would share a thought, and if it didn't get enough comments, I would feel like I was stupid. I would share my emotions, and if they weren't validated by others, I would feel like I was crazy.

But the truth is, social media is not reality. It's a curated version of reality, a highlight reel of everyone's life. It's not real, it's not authentic, it's not vulnerable.

And yet, we buy into it. We buy into the lie that everyone else is living a perfect life, that everyone else is happy all the time, that everyone else is worthy of love and acceptance. We buy into the lie that we need to be perfect, that we need to be happy all the time, that we need to be worthy of love and acceptance.

But the truth is, we're all imperfect. We're all struggling. We're all trying to figure out this thing called life. And that's okay. That's more than okay, that's beautiful.

So, I've made a decision. I've decided to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to be myself. I've decided to stop trying to prove myself to others, to stop trying to present a perfect image. I've decided to embrace my imperfections, my flaws, my quirks.

And you know what? Life is so much more peaceful now. I no longer feel the need to prove myself to others. I no longer feel the pressure to present a perfect image. I can just be, and that's enough.
But the truth is, social media is not reality. It's a curated version of reality, a highlight reel of everyone's life. It's not real, it's not authentic, it's not vulnerable.

I'm not saying it's easy. I'm not saying I don't still struggle with the desire to prove myself, to present a perfect image. But I'm saying that I'm trying, I'm learning, I'm growing. I'm saying that I'm finding true connection, true intimacy, true love. I'm saying that I'm finding myself.

And that's the greatest gift of all.