People who live a comfortable life have an "anti-internal friction" physique.

You may have noticed two completely different types of people in our lives.

One is to think more and do less.

When chatting with this kind of person, you will find that they have fascinating conversations, have a lot of things they want to do, and are eager to express themselves.

But in fact, their real lives are a mess.

Because they often stay in "thinking" and cannot act.

Therefore, nothing he thought about came true, and the gap between ideal and reality always consumed him.

At this time, "internal friction" is formed.

The other type is to do more and think less.

This kind of people will focus on how to achieve it.

Whatever you want to do, you will execute it quickly, and you are very capable of action.

Therefore, despite setbacks during execution, there will be few regrets, and the whole person will live happily.

As far as I know, many people are in the first state:

Think more than you do.

But in fact, people who can boldly "externalize" their inner thoughts into reality tend to live more comfortably and are more likely to achieve success in the external world.

Therefore, if you want to "anti-internal friction" and live more comfortably, "externalization" is very important.

The so-called "externalization" means:

Transform what you want to do in your heart into external reality.

Some people remain in an industry they dislike, stagnating without growth, and struggle daily. They desire a career change.

But I have yet to start preparing for long and always waste myself in it.

It is a representation of the soul not being expressed outwardly. However, the opposite may be true., if they take action to understand other industries and market needs, summarize their experience, and update their resumes.

Putting one's inner thoughts into reality is "externalization."

In general, do more than you think.

But why do so many people only think about it but never take action?

Behind this, there are two psychological mechanisms hidden.

① The sense of shame arising from failing to escape "externalization."

② Pursue a sense of control over yourself and the external world.

I once had a male client who had difficulty forming romantic relationships.

For him, when pursuing a girl, he can only reveal "I like you" once.

If the other party expresses a hint of rejection, he will retreat and not expose it again.

But for ordinary people, it is easier to fall in love with in-depth communication and deepening understanding.

Later, when I talked with him, I discovered he had watched his friend pursue a girl for three or four years without success.

This process made him feel terrible.

So he kept telling himself: Never allow this fate to fall on my head.

According to my observation, many people have this desire.

On the surface, this does keep life under control.

It will not allow people to experience ups and downs, thus avoiding those severe feelings of shame and failure.

However, once you get used to or even rely on this sense of control and do not "externalize" your important inner motivation, many problems will arise.

Specifically, there are the following three consequences.

First, this will cause severe internal friction.

I especially agree with one statement:

To be mentally healthy, you should do more things in the external world and reduce your internal dialogue.

Without this energy, one would become very closed off and feel disconnected from reality.

It means that when "externalization" is not realized, it will become a lot of self-talk.

I once had a visitor who did not work or socialize but was exhausted daily.

Because although she does nothing, she has a lot of ideas.

On the one hand, she wants to control the constant flow of ideas;

On the other hand, we must also accept the gap between ideas and reality.

It's cumbersome and difficult to move.

Therefore, her internal friction was severe.

Secondly, it is challenging to experience something extraordinary.

A person who never dares to pursue important motivations will avoid experiencing profound feelings of failure and shame.

But at the same time, it is also difficult to experience those fascinating, beautiful, and intense things in life:

Because of the fear of uncertainty, I have been slow to prepare for a new job and can only stay where I am, making it challenging to gain unique work experience;

Because you are afraid of being rejected and dare not pursue the person you like, it is difficult for the other person to know your feelings, and it is difficult for you to experience the beauty of love;

Because I am afraid to take risks and travel to the places I want to visit, I will never be able to see their specialness or feel the comfort of the journey.

Because only by "externalizing" one's essential motivation is the beginning of so many good things.

We have the opportunity to experience exciting and beautiful things.

In the end, people become very vulnerable.

If someone can bring their ideas to fruition, they may gain purpose and motivation in life. That is why some people do not start things or take action.

I don't want to experience this feeling of death.

However, suppose a person's motivation is not "externalized" to the external world. In that case, it only remains at the spiritual level.

It's like a seed but doesn't sprout, grow, turn into a towering tree, or die.

Without any tempering, the spiritual life will naturally be weak.

In real life, we need to throw out all kinds of essential seeds of ourselves, express them to the external world, and go through the process of birth, development, climax, decline, and death.

In this way, you will deeply feel that your spiritual life has been tempered by "externalizing" one specific thought after another.

Moreover, when a person persistently and diligently displays various inner motivations to the outside world, he will find:

Several reasons can be addressed.

When people develop this feeling, they become resilient and less likely to be easily defeated.

Speaking of this, someone may ask:

How can we "externalize" our inner thoughts into the real world?

I particularly like the saying about "getting" a CEO without spending money, called the Law of Recklessness.

If you feel that what you want to do in your heart is right,

So, only sometimes consider doing it when you have reached a perfect solution.

As long as you feel you want to do it and basically can do it,

You can start to express your thoughts to the outside world with a certain degree of recklessness.

Specifically speaking, there are two more realistic approaches:

① Try to start with small things and take action.

For example, when we have a small wish, we can be reckless and realize it.

If you want to watch a movie, get up and go out to watch it;

If you want to cook yourself a meal, start preparing the ingredients;

If you want to ask a friend to go out and relax, contact them immediately

We can try our best to experience such a feeling in these small things:

My inner motivation became an outer reality.

This way, we will have better mobility to "externalize" more essential bases.

② Build a sense of connection with reality.

People often refrain from expressing their thoughts due to overthinking, creating a feeling of disconnecting from reality. Consequently, when idle, individuals may experience intense internal conflict.

You must know that all human motivation occurs in relationships, and we must try to open ourselves to the outside world.

A reader once told her experience.

She was initially a person with severe internal conflicts. She had few friends and always stayed by herself.

Later, she finally plucked up the courage to open up her thoughts, take the initiative to make friends, and meet a perfect friend.

The two have a great relationship, helping each other and fostering her happiness. As a result, she has made new friends who share her interests and passions.

This relationship also allows her to "externalize" her motivation very well.

Do what you want to do immediately; you have never loved life as much as you do now.

Building a sense of connection with reality can allow us to present a state of vigorous vitality.

Externalizing well is difficult, making life challenging.

But if a person does not "externalize" at all, it seems that he has avoided various tests, but it also means:

No amount of light will ever bring out his liveliness.

His life has not unfolded at all;

Externalization only guarantees the fulfillment of some wishes, as life is often unsatisfactory.

However, this world is so rich and open.

We can reduce our inner dialogue and expand our lives only when we are satisfied with reality through various collisions and perceptions.