People, the greatest internal conflict, is to find their trouble

01

What is internal depletion, the psychological explanation of internal depletion means?

"People need to consume psychological resources in self-management, when the resources are not enough, people will be in a state of internal consumption, long-term this will make people feel exhausted."

In other words, when you feel tired, unhappy, and unhappy, you are already in a state of internal depletion.

So, why do people consume internally?

The biggest problem people have is that they are constantly looking for trouble with themselves.

It can be said that finding one's trouble is one of the most important reasons for one's internal consumption.

And the so-called trouble means that at any time and anywhere in the difficult for themselves, refused to let themselves go, always like to find themselves some can not do or can not complete the things to do.

Once the development of things is not satisfactory, the results are not their ideal look, will be self-criticism, self-denial, and a single-minded doubt about the value of their lives.

I believe that many people have had such feelings.

When you are a student, you always worry that your teacher will call out to you when you ask a question, and your heart is always full of nervousness and anxiety.

When you work, you are always worried that you are not good enough and that you will be criticized and dismissed by the leader for doing something wrong.

When you get along with people, you are not confident in yourself, you are careful in what you say and do, and once you are asked a question, you will seem incoherent.

These situations are because you think too much, too concerned about the views of others caused by.

You know, once a person thinks too much, it is easy to be wrapped up in their own negative emotions, thus falling into the trap of internal conflict.

In other words: people, the biggest internal conflict, is to find trouble.

If you do not stop in time and make changes, you will only make your life worse and worse, and your body more and more exhausted.

02

The more expectations, the more disappointment

A person wants to not be disappointed, we must learn to lower the expectations of the heart. Expect less, disappointment will naturally be less.

But in life in the world, everyone will have strong fantasies about some people and some things.

For example, in a relationship, we always expect the other party to be devoted to themselves and never leave.

In, for example, we always hope that we can excel on various occasions and excel in grades.

However, the many expectations are always unsatisfactory.

If you fall into a dead end of disappointment as a result, you will have more than internal conflict.

The first thing you need to do to stop the internal conflict is to reduce your expectations and stop having unrealistic ideas about people and things, and your disappointment will naturally decrease.

Tsunako Nakamura, the author of "It's Worth It on Earth," once wrote in her book, "Why do people feel uneasy? In most cases, this uneasiness is due to thinking too much about the future."

In other words, a person who thinks too much and takes those uncertain things too seriously will add to his worries and allow himself to be surrounded and affected by negative emotions.

03

The goal does not match with the ability, no way to start

No sense of direction is the cause of internal conflict for many people.

If a person does not know what they can do, what to do, not clear on their positioning, they will feel lost and confused.

This is the reason why many people are working hard, but they can never achieve their goals and cannot see the results they want.

To get out of this predicament and not let ourselves be bound by internal consumption, we must learn to know ourselves, understand ourselves, and assess our capabilities.

As the saying goes, "how much you can do, how much you can do", if the goal does not match your ability, you will not be able to achieve what you want.

So, no matter what you do, you have to learn to make a feasible plan and be able to achieve in the short term, only then your heart will be encouraged.

If you often set your goals too high, you will have the intention but not the power of the situation, over time, confidence will be greatly reduced, and thus began to internal conflict.

04

Do what you can do, do not make things difficult for yourself

Some people say: that a person's greatest internal conflict is to live with themselves.

For some things, it is clear that there is no need to do, but it is necessary to be serious with themselves, and insist on the end.

The reason for this is that everything you do is just to prove yourself.

But often forcing yourself, and pushing yourself too hard, in the end, will not only cost time and energy but also let you fall into distress, and depression.

There is a passage that makes sense.

"If we want to make ourselves better, we must first allow ourselves to be not good enough, accept our shortcomings, do not allow ourselves to internal conflict, let ourselves go, so that we can make ourselves better."

In other words, to refuse internal conflict, you have to first put your mind at ease and not be too hard on yourself.