One Step Forward

I'm Ashley. I am new to this blog life, but I am excited to be able to let out my emotions and tell my stories for people to hear. I am a mother of two handsome little boys, they are five and one years old. I am in love with their dad and have been for six years. We have had our ups and downs like any other relationship, but I am so happy that we have worked through everything and are better than ever. I love the life we are building together with our small little family. However, it has not come easy. Let me give you a little backstory on my life.

I am the bubbliest, most outgoing person you will meet. I love to smile and spread good vibes to everyone. I try to look at the positive side of every situation. Especially because I have been in a dark spot before. I hid it from a lot of people, but there were moments that I even questioned WHY I was here. Those years were very, very long ago. I just want everyone to know though, I worked hard to get to the point I am at now. I was bullied at a young age for years because I could not do the typical things the "right" way. I couldn't run, walk, or do anything right. Why? Because I was diagnosed with a neuromuscular disorder called CMT (Charcot Marie Tooth). This made me unique. I had to wear braces on my legs, and do numerous hours of physical therapy. I made up any excuse not to do gym class if it involved running. I felt ashamed of myself, but why? I should be out there spreading knowledge and facts for people to learn about this disease (which is what I do now). I used to hide the fact that there was something different about me rather than embrace it. Again, why? Because kids are kids and I was bullied. It has become easier to talk about and I do tell people about it now. I just wish I could have or would have sooner.

Fast forward to my senior year of high school. I had great friends, I had a boyfriend, and I was graduating! I had everything I could have wanted. Then the black cloud came again. My "boyfriend" was cheating. Not just cheating, but talking to over 20 girls behind my back!! Crazy right? Eh, not so much for those high school boys. They're young, we're young. They're dumb, whatever. It is what he did next that made me feel worthless. I confronted him about it, which he again lied about. It was continuous lying for months. I got to the point where I could not take it anymore, I ended things. However, afterwards, he became disrespectful and made me feel like I was basically the lowest on the totem pole. I was worthless, it got to the point where I would sit in my room and stare at the four walls for hours, because why would someone want me?

A month later I found my happiness again! I met my boyfriend, Ben. I honestly fell in love when I first saw him. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. A quick three months later, I got pregnant. I was scared though. You see I was only 19 at the time. Six years ago when I was pregnant, 19 was considered in the world "too young" to be having kids. I also was just learning about my new boyfriend. My parents, family, and friends all supported me though; and I welcomed Hunter James into this world in May 2013. He saved me. I fell in love all over again, and let me tell you being a mother is THE BEST FEELING ever. Even though to this day he may drive me insane, I would not change a damn thing about it. Having him gave me a purpose. Then, in April 2017 we welcomed his brother, Carson Allen into our lives. I love my boys more than anything.

Also, I pushed through college during all of this too. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I hold three certificates, one degree, and I am going back to school in Fall 2018 to continue my journey.

I plan on working hard, and striving for the best because of my boys, my boyfriend, my family, and my friends. They all gave me a purpose. I am thankful for the black clouds and storms I have lived through because it made me the person I am today. I will push through whatever comes my way, I will not quit.

My story isn't over yet.