"Nobody puts Baby in the Corner"

"Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner"

A friend spoke this quote to me recently and I immediately had an emotional reaction. We had been discussing the imbalance I was feeling between the ‘doing’ of work for other people and the focus I have been able to put into my own passions.

I know many of you will relate to allowing yourself to be at the bottom of your list. How often do we put ourselves in the corner whilst we attend to everyone else’s needs or work deadlines? How often do we allow fear and judgement to dictate our actions and hide our true feelings in the corner?

You may notice I said we put ourselves in the corner! Even when it seems like it’s other people that are the ones pushing and pulling on us, it is our own choice to allow these circumstances to overtake and overwhelm us.

For me, it definitely is a case of putting myself in the corner. But I feel like I haven’t been sitting there quietly. I feel the unhappiness of unfinished projects and lost opportunities. I feel the loss of ideas and dreams never fully realised. I feel the strain of never having enough time. I feel anger at myself, resentment towards things that do take up so much of my time and energy. There I sit, wallowing, stewing and despairing. How much longer will I continue in this place?

I am truly grateful that my friend made that statement, “Nobody puts baby in the corner!” I found myself reflecting on how I got there and what I should do to get out and ensuring I am doing the stuff that makes me happy whilst balancing it with the essentials of life here on earth. Where do I need to make changes?

I like to make lists. Not everyone is a list-maker and that’s ok. I find it helpful. I need a clear picture of where I’m putting my energy, what things bring me joy and then what I can let go of in order to find my balance. What am I prepared to hold onto without feeling overwhelmed again?

Letting go is a challenge. Particularly when I’ve created something and invested a lot of energy in its creation. I become attached to it, it’s mine and I tend to want to stay in control of it. This can be problematic when it’s a project for a client. In reality, once I’ve accepted the project for the client, its theirs. I have no claim to it, and neither should I. I can feel proud in my accomplishment but, the ownership is always the clients’. It requires an energetic release from me.

Letting go is also tricky when it comes to family, especially children. As a parent, I raised my children and hopefully have given them enough guidance and encouragement to be happy adults. But life is full of twists and turns and, although I want to be able to fix everything for my children, they are grown people making their own way and are quite capable of making choices for themselves. It is difficult to sit back and watch them struggle. Do I step in and try to fix? Or do I offer support and be there should they need me? Or is there something in between? How much of myself am I prepared to give? Am I giving too much and putting my own needs ‘in the corner’? Isn’t that what we do as parents, but what message is that sending to our children? I feel that sometimes I do allow things to get out of hand in ‘helping’ but the best example I can show my children is how to take care of myself and be happy. By allowing them to find their own path in life, they have responsibility for their choices and pride in their own successes.

So…how do I take better care of myself?

Here are some things I would like to do….

Walk every day

Be in nature….ocean, forest, gardens

Follow a balanced diet

Get regular massages

Do yoga

Date nights with my partner

Focus on my own passions to build my business

Keep a schedule for client based projects

Enjoy family visits

Attend heart-centred events

Although I have this list, it is fluid. I will revisit it often and check in with myself to ensure I am out of the corner and living my life with peace and happiness. I will light a candle and be present. I will accept the guidance I receive through meditation, oracle readings and from dear trusted friends.

Life is a journey. We walk, run, skip or crawl on our path and it meanders in many directions. Some sections of our path are in the shadows, and it takes courage to keep moving to be back in the light. Take courage fellow travellers and find your joy!