Never say never!

Is it possible that, despite your greatest efforts, things never turn out the way you want them to? Do you find yourself in a state of despair because just when it seems like you are making progress, something goes wrong? It's easy to feel dejected and give up at such moments, but what can you do to keep your head above water and keep things under control? It is an unavoidable truth of life that, despite your best attempts at planning, strategizing, and exercising caution to avoid making errors, things will go wrong from time to time.

Things may go wrong from time to time, but how you respond to a setback is entirely up to you. When it comes to coping with setbacks, there are essentially two fundamental attitudes to consider. One represents the thinking of a pessimist, while the other represents the mindset of an optimist. In his book "Learned Optimism," Dr. Martin Seligman asserts that there are certain distinctions between the ways in which a pessimist and an optimist approach an issue. In addition to providing valuable insight into why some individuals are able to overcome setbacks and problems, his theory also provides valuable insight into why other people spiral into a dungeon of despair and self-doubt.

The first difference is that an optimist will perceive a setback as transitory, while a pessimist would see it as permanent. "Never make a permanent choice based on transitory conditions," according to a popular adage. That is exactly what the pessimist will do. Rather than seeing the situation as a temporary problem that can be remedied, they regard it as an insurmountable and long-term difficulty. The optimist will perceive the occurrence as having a short time span and having little or no actual influence on the rest of his or her life.

The second distinction is how a setback will be seen by the pessimist and the optimist in terms of its breadth and consequences. The pessimist believes that a negative occurrence or consequence is ubiquitous and has an impact on everything in their immediate environment. When a company owner experiences a loss on a single business choice, they may conclude that their whole enterprise is failing and that they had made a terrible investment when, in reality, just one transaction went wrong. The optimist is able to separate a negative occurrence from its consequences and to handle it as if it were a single negative event that did not have an impact on anything else in their life.

Third, a pessimist will attribute a setback to an internal or personal source rather than to external circumstances. If someone believes that a poor turn of events was caused by a weakness or lack in their own character, they are likely to believe that they are correct. The optimist maintains the healthy perspective that the occurrence is external to them and was not necessarily caused by themselves.

They come to the realization that there was probably nothing they could have done to prevent what occurred from occurring. When it comes to obtaining success and fulfilling your ambitions, the ability to separate oneself from challenges and failures is critical to success and fulfillment. If you believe that you are a contributing factor to the issue, you will be unable to achieve mental clarity. You will not be able to overcome a setback unless you have complete clarity of mind.

Fourth, and perhaps most crucially, the optimist understands that, despite the fact that they had no control over the events that occurred, they still have the ability to influence or affect the result. This is what decides whether you will rise again after you have fallen or if you will remain on your stomach and weep until you are blue in the face for the rest of your life.