My Ocean of Thoughts

Have you ever had one of those nights where you just can't fall asleep? A vast landslide of thoughts come rushing through your head like its not something that's ending soon, endless chaos and conversation with different persona you created in your head for that certain scenario. Well, I HAVE. In fact that's why I'm writing this right now.

Many thoughts go through my mind, ideas, and scenarios that I can't seem to stop. Little chatters that I can't seem to understand, but they're all me. If you're anything like me then you probably overthink about every single thing, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. THING. It's exhausting, let me tell you that (you probably already know that) running through a treadmill, if I ran the way my thoughts did I would probably be skinny right now. All kidding aside, sometimes I feel that I am swimming in a vast ocean of thoughts, but I'm getting nowhere. Wanna know why? Because as soon as I come to stroke forward trying to find land, to stand on my own feet, STABILITY if I'm being literal, well another tide comes in to push me back where I just was.

It's a cycle honestly, I swim, I get pushed back, I swim I get pushed back, over and over and over again. Do you see my frustration now? Well throughout the years I've tried this or that and many more that I'm not gonna bore you with their own specific details, to find my STABILITY, my LAND.

All did fail, and I tried and I failed, and I tried and I failed, and I tried and I failed. I've research about it, learned it, followed every single step that was given by many youtubers I have watched (lol but seriously though) and again — well, you guessed it, FAILED.

Then I started thinking, maybe it wasn't working because I wasn't swimming in the same ocean as they were, and there I realized that, yes it gets overwhelming that you end up drowning in your see of thoughts, but you can always easily float if you get tired.

To all my point of writing this is to remind YOU. Yes, Y-O-U. That life does get tiring, you'll get tired sometimes, and maybe that sometimes to yourself as well, but you don't need land to find stability. You can just easily float there and be still. Looking up for a brighter day and when you're done resting, then keep on going.

And trust me, you're not the only one who swims!