My new year and better me
How A 16-year-old teen realized they had it all wrong
So usually, when I say new year new me my resolution was to just lose weight, get better grades, etc etc. But, this year it was different. After losing my grandma I really took my life and flipped it at an angle. Now here I am, 16-years-old and my mind has been awoken. So let me tell you my about resolution and why.
Growing up, I was always taught education was the most important thing in one's life. I took that advice to the heart and that's how I got to where I am in school. Straight A's student, yeah seems like the greatest thing to be, especially when you're like me and you need a scholarship in order to attend college. But, that's what they don't tell you, college isn't for everybody. It's not even just for smart people.
In 2020, doing virtual school, I decided that I had enough time on my hands to practice my writing and look into earning college credits. I know I'm a pretty boring 16-year-old, but I wanted to be ahead of the game you know. Long story short, I decided to take a college-level anatomy class because a teacher at my school taught it and it was a class need for the career I thought I thought I wanted. Keyword thought!
During that anatomy class, I kinda realized something, I am not the college type! I love school but it stresses me out. I have been through hell and back and I finally found my clarity. During my 16 years of life and my 12 years of school from headstart till now, being in the middle of my sophomore year, I just noticed how stressful my school life has made me.
Concerning my health, I overcame a suicide attempt my 8th-grade year and I know for a fact school was my number one stressor to bring me down to that mental state. I'm a healthy teen, I stay hydrated, I do my daily exercise, etc, but without mental health, you really can't be overall healthy. Because if your brain isn't happy your body will follow suit, and that will be your demise.
Mental health I'm not really in the best state with it right now. 2020 I lost my grandma and it hasn't really been the best since. My mind is all over the place without her because she was my backbone. Now It' 2021 and I'm losing my mind because of school and life. But, not doing life isn't an option so my other choice is school. This brings us to my resolution.
So, my resolution is to slow down in school! I know what you're thinking, a big mistake right? wrong! I push myself harder than anybody I have ever known, and I deserve a break. I go above and beyond every day on that computer but what about my mental health? What happens if I have a breakdown? School is hard, life is harder, who's going to pick up the pieces if I overwork and break myself? So, my plan is to just be average. Slow it down, work at a normal pace. Build my self-esteem to a higher place. Find my epic love, feel epic heartbreak. I need to grow in order to learn and that's what I'll do. Focus more on my family and friends, build better bonds. Explore other options besides college, establish my goals and priorities for God's sake I'm still young and I don't have debt yet so I need to let go. Let my stress run free. 2020 was such a stressful year that I will sit back this year and bandage the wounds that 2020 has opened and let 2021 heal them. For I am as strong as what has made me weak, and goddamn it, I will prevail.
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