My Life's Vision

When I was younger, I thought I knew what my life was going to look like. I had imagined graduating high school, going to law school, and living an independent life. After law school, I would work in a small-town practise, buy a ranch and rescue horses and maybe even dogs. I would drive to my parents house a take my younger siblings out for after school treats and on weekend trips to the movies. My best friend and I would go on frequent road trips to investigate amazing sites and unknown locations. But as you probably know, life doesn’t always go to plan.

A few months after graduating from high school I was accepted into law degree. It was not the one that I wanted, but I was so excited as I would be the first on in my immediate family to go to university. I was very proud of myself and so was my family. I was getting ready to start my new adventure when my youngest sister was born. My sister, who is amazingly beautiful and absolutely one of my favourite people in this entire world. Unfortunately, my sister was born with multiple disabilities. Because of this my parents needed extra help looking after her, my other siblings, and the household. This, along with many other factors, such as the fact the I had terrible self-doubt and was terrified about the idea of moving about 2 hours away from my family, was the reasons why I did not accept the place I was offered.

My life now revolved around my family, which I didn’t mind. However, being officially an adult is not cheap, so I needed to find a job. After trying multiple different jobs, with the little experience I did have from a job I has in high school, I found a job I loved. I worked in a café with people who made it feel like a family. I was very lucky. My employees and co-workers were so understanding of my family’s circumstances and always offered a helping hand.

After my family’s circumstance became more stable and things seemed to be under control, I decided to plan for my future. As going away to university still wasn’t an option, I enrolled for online classes, studying a certificate in Mental Health and Alcohol. After studying this for a while I realised that this field of work was not something that suited me. Then I found a course at a local childhood centre. They were hosting an onsite diploma of Early Childhood Care and Development which ran two days a week, which with my familial responsibilities and a part time job was perfect. My life finally seemed to be getting back on track. I was focused and determined on making this new career path work. I loved the course work and doing work experience was rewarding. I was learning a lot of things that was helping me with my home life and my volunteer work (I helped organise and run two youth groups for about 5 years).

Little did I know that I had a degenerative eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa. This is a genetic condition the effects the retinas and causes the peripheral vision, and eventually the central vision. I always had bad vision, I could never see a night and always required glassed. My conditions deterioration is slow, so I didn’t really notice it and I didn’t know any better, so I just assumed that it was normal not to be able to see the world around you in perfect picture. It wasn’t until I went for my license at 19 and couldn’t read the eye chart, that I went to a specialist. I received two incorrect diagnoses before being finally diagnosed with RP.

My vision got worse and worse. It had deteriorated to a point in which it became unsafe for me to continue working in the café and studying childcare, especially as I had lost the majority of my peripheral vision (less the 5 degrees remaining) and could no longer see the children around me, nor their multiple toys and play equipment. I struggled for a while after this. I became upset, angry and I was seriously questioning my future. Eventually It became to overwhelming to stay at home. My best friend and I found a house together and everything was starting to feel normal again. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out and our friendship deteriorated faster than my vision. I moved back in with my parents, which was perfect timing as they really needed my help.

For a while I was confused as to why things in my life just didn’t seem to work out. People kept telling me that everything happens for a reason, which really annoyed me, not only because it was such a cliché, but because nobody could give any insight into the reason, and they had no idea what I was going through and this seemed like it’s something people say just so they don’t have to listen anymore. But now, I kind of understand it a bit more.

My life is far from perfect. It’s been about 3 years since my diagnosis and my vision is even worse. But my life seems to be finally going in the direction I had always imagined. I will never be able to drive and though it is not in the way I imagined; I am finally studying a Bachelor of Laws online. It is extremely difficult, but somehow, I have managed to get through almost two years of study. I live independently (apart from some support I receive to help with things I am unable to so) and still have the opportunity to help my parents, whether that is cooking them dinner or having my siblings stay with me on the weekend. I still have most my life left to live, I am only 23, and even though I don’t know what the future will look like (pun intended) I am looking forward to the opportunity to overcome any challenges I am sure to face and to prove to myself that I can do it.