My 2021 Fresh Start

2020 was… a lot. On a global level, there was the Coronavirus Pandemic. People started getting increasingly sicker in February and countries were entering lockdown by March. It was a scary time filled with much uncertainty and fear. On a national level, the stress of the pandemic was exacerbated by political unrest and economic upheaval. 2020 became marked by the fear that the United States was on the precipice of losing its very heart—democracy.

I was among the many people filled with stress and fear as I watched what felt like my country falling apart around me. But I have been dealing with stress and fear my entire life. I have lived with symptoms of depression and anxiety for as long as I could remember. These mental health challenges have often manifested themselves in emotions that held me back and told me that I wasn’t good enough or strong enough to carry out my destiny. This was no different, except that it was. In that lack of change from my norm, I somehow started to change from my norm. Stress and fear had controlled me for a long time. Being stuck in the house behind lockdown caused more of it. However, it also gave me the space to finally confront it head on. I faced those insecurities head on with the realization that I was not what my fears had made me believe I was. I was good enough; I was strong enough; and so I resolved to put that new belief in myself into meditating, starting my career as a creator, and eating healthy. Let me explain.

A healthier lifestyle for me meant incorporating more salads into my daily diet. I have always loved salads! There are so many options for ingredients, dressings, and even types of lettuce. The more I found myself stressing over my loved ones, finances, and the general state of the country, though, the more I found myself binging on sweets. My brain was focusing so much on the negativity around me, that my body was pushing me to compensate for serotonin with sugar. My willingness to face my insecurities head on became an openness to sitting with myself in meditation and mindfulness. I have a made a point to meditate daily as soon as I wake up. It brings me to the physical presence of my body and out of the scary what-ifs that often exist in my head. The more I was able to foster the creation of serotonin in my brain, the less I needed sugar to do it for me, and the more I got back to basics. I could enjoy salads again. My favorite salad includes green olives, romaine lettuce, bits of kale, boiled egg, walnuts, cranberries, and honey mustard dressing.

My 2021 resolutions were to meditate more, start my career as a creator, and eat more healthily. These clear resolutions were meant to foster self-improvement, self-love, and healing. I have been a writer for a very long time, but I it took me being stuck in the house behind lockdown to embrace it as my passion, something I am skilled in, and a starting place for my career as a creator. Writing helps me express myself when I lack the verbal ability to do so. Being on lockdown during the pandemic gave the chance to use meditation to confront the parts of myself that have been holding me back. This in turn opened me to the possibilities of my own potential. I had opened myself up to the fact that I deserved love and care. 2020 reminded me of my mortality and how quickly life can end whether I am ready or not.

I entered 2021 with a better understanding of my own resilience and a renewed passion for treating my mind better by eating more healthily, meditating, and starting my career as a creator. 2020 gave me time to reflect. 2021 has given me a fresh start.