Move On

What Does "Move On" Really Mean?

"Move on" is a phrase that signifies letting go of past events, situations, or feelings in order to progress forward in life. It’s often used as advice or encouragement when someone is stuck in a difficult or emotionally charged situation. Moving on isn't about forgetting or denying the past, but rather choosing to not allow it to control or hinder one's present or future.

Moving on is a complex process that involves several steps, often requiring emotional resilience, self-reflection, and sometimes, external support. It doesn’t mean simply forgetting about the past or pretending it didn’t matter. Instead, it involves accepting that the past can’t be changed, but the future can still be shaped. Moving on is about acknowledging the hurt or disappointment, but choosing not to allow those emotions to control your present.

Moving on often comes after major life events such as breakups, loss, failure, or any significant changes. It requires one to reconcile with what happened, process the emotions surrounding it, and then make a conscious decision to let go of those attachments.

The Emotional Process of Moving On

Acknowledging the Pain: The first step in moving on is to allow yourself to feel the pain and disappointment. Many people attempt to suppress or deny their emotions, but true healing only begins when we confront our feelings. This might involve sadness, grief, anger, or even relief. Acknowledging these feelings without judgment is crucial.

Why this matters: Denying your feelings or pretending they don’t exist can lead to repressed emotions, which may manifest later in more harmful ways, such as depression, anxiety, or even physical symptoms like stress or fatigue.

Grieving: The grieving process can look different for everyone. It could be the grieving of a lost relationship, a career opportunity that didn’t pan out, or the end of a particular chapter in your life. Grieving is the emotional release of what was and what could have been.

Why this matters: Grief is natural. In fact, it's a necessary process to heal and come to terms with the loss, so it doesn’t remain a haunting memory that keeps you tethered to the past.

Seeking Understanding: When things don’t go as expected or hoped for, we often look for understanding. What went wrong? Why did it happen? This phase might involve some introspection. This can be hard, especially if you’re dealing with something or someone who hurt you, but self-reflection is key to moving on.

Why this matters: Understanding helps us make sense of the experience. By reflecting, you can uncover lessons that might not have been obvious at first. It provides closure and helps you gain perspective.

Releasing and Letting Go: Holding onto past events, grudges, or what could have been prevents you from moving forward. Letting go doesn’t mean you forget what happened; rather, it means releasing the grip that those events or feelings have on you. You choose to no longer be held captive by them.

Why this matters: Holding onto negative emotions, resentment, or "what ifs" can lead to stagnation. By letting go, you free yourself emotionally and mentally to embrace the new opportunities and experiences that await you.

Forgiveness: A large part of moving on involves forgiveness. This doesn’t necessarily mean reconciling with someone who hurt you, but rather, forgiving them for your own peace of mind. It might also mean forgiving yourself for perceived mistakes or missed opportunities.

Why this matters: Unforgiveness can feel like carrying a heavy weight. It prevents you from experiencing true freedom. Forgiving, whether the other person deserves it or not, is a way to reclaim your energy and peace of mind.

Taking Action Toward Healing: After letting go of what holds you back, the next step is healing. Sometimes this takes the form of seeking therapy, engaging in self-care, pursuing new interests, or simply spending time with supportive people. Movement, in the form of both physical and emotional action, helps solidify the process of moving on.

Why this matters: Healing requires effort. You can’t move on just by wishing it. Actively seeking healing and taking tangible steps toward feeling better, such as engaging in healthy habits or finding new meaning in life, accelerates the process.

The Role of Time in Moving On

One of the most important factors in moving on is time. Time alone does not heal wounds, but with time, the intensity of the emotional pain typically softens. In the early stages, emotions might be raw, but with each passing day, week, or month, you may find that the hurt becomes more manageable.

The more time that passes, the more your perspective changes. You may begin to look back on the situation with more objectivity. Time allows you to gain clarity and insight, helping you realize that life continues, and new opportunities await you.

How to Speed Up the Moving On Process

While time plays a crucial role, there are ways to expedite the process:

Surround Yourself with Support: It’s hard to move on if you feel isolated. Seek out trusted friends, family members, or a support group. Sharing your feelings with others can provide comfort and perspective.

Focus on Self-Care: Often, people neglect themselves emotionally and physically during difficult times. Prioritize your mental health by engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s exercising, reading, practicing mindfulness, or spending time with loved ones.

Challenge Negative Thoughts: Moving on often requires shifting your mindset. Negative or self-critical thoughts can keep you stuck in the past. Challenge these thoughts by focusing on what you can control, your strengths, and your ability to move forward.

Pursue New Goals and Interests: Redirect your energy toward something that excites you. Setting new goals, whether they are career, personal, or creative, helps to shift your focus and gives you a sense of purpose. Engaging in new hobbies or passions can help you rediscover joy and meaning.

Be Patient: Finally, give yourself grace. Moving on isn’t a linear process. Some days will be harder than others. Patience is key. Recognize that setbacks are part of the journey, and it’s okay to experience a range of emotions along the way.

Moving On in Different Contexts

In Relationships:

When a relationship ends, the process of moving on involves grieving the loss of a connection, redefining your identity without that person, and learning to embrace being single. It may take time to heal from heartbreak, but it’s important to not rush the process. Moving on might also involve forgiving yourself or the other person for things that went wrong.

In Careers or Aspirations:

Sometimes, moving on applies to letting go of a career or dream that didn’t work out as expected. Whether it’s a job loss, a failed project, or the realization that a career path isn’t fulfilling, moving on involves redefining your goals and finding new directions. This can be a difficult but ultimately freeing process, as it encourages personal growth and the pursuit of what truly matters.

In Loss and Grief:

Grieving the loss of a loved one is one of the most intense forms of moving on. It requires navigating through profound sadness and learning to live with the absence of someone dear. Over time, while the grief may never completely disappear, it becomes more manageable, and you begin to cherish the memories and lessons from that person’s life, rather than being solely defined by the pain of their absence.

Conclusion

Moving on is not a quick fix, nor is it something that can be easily "done" in a set period of time. It’s an ongoing journey of healing, acceptance, and transformation. The key is to embrace the process with patience and self-compassion, recognizing that moving on is an act of empowerment, not just in letting go of what no longer serves you, but in stepping into a new, more fulfilling chapter of your life.