Motivation as Desire

Motivation is a complex concept. It's abstract and lies somewhere between desire and drive but it's quite hard to nail it down. In my personal life, I tend to oscillate between high motivation and little to no motivation, very rarely do I land on that knife-edge balance which allows me to develop deep-rooted change.

One of the first things I did to try to increase my motivation was by putting in accountability checks. Seems simple enough right?

I want to limit my time on social media? Add screen time notifications.

I want to cut some weight? Live and die by your Fitbit stats.

In theory, this should make sense. If you can see your progress and analyze it, you have the ability to alter your behavior as required to meet your goals. However, I noticed something strange starting to happen when I added in these accountability checks. I would start out strong for maybe a week or two and then, the checks stopped meaning anything. I would cheat or even just stop looking at the measures.

About a week ago, my Fitbit broke. Admittedly, my initial reaction was - Crap, I'm going to blow it and not be able to fit into my wedding dress.

But something interesting happened. Instead of falling off the deep end and drowning myself in cake pops - as one does. I was more attuned to my body. If I was hungry - I ate. If I wanted a little dopamine - I hit the gym. Not because I was driven to by the app on my phone, but because I had an abiding desire to feel strong and confident on my wedding day.

That's when it clicked. Our lives are so busy nowadays and there are so many tasks that are constantly vying for our attention, the easy thing is to outsource your motivation - to outsource the intention behind the action and make space for the million other things you're working on. There's nothing wrong with wanting to simplify your day, but by passing the onus of motivation to an external party it cuts out the most powerful aspect of motivation. Your own desire to see the work done. Desire and enjoyment tend to go hand-in-hand, so you may even find yourself enjoying that work.

My father has a favorite saying. You can afford anything, but you cant afford everything. Experts agree that humans function best with a small amount of well-defined goals instead of a plethora of half-formed goals. As much as we want to be superhuman and do it all; we can only afford to effectively give a certain amount of our drive and desire to any one thing.

So here's my advice, prioritize ruthlessly.

Think deeply about what you want and most importantly why you want it, then devote your energy to those chosen few. Simplify the path forward and outsource the rest.

Chances are, you will find that elusive motivation and discover a newfound enjoyment in your process.