Metamorphosis

It all began one hot summer afternoon inside of my small bedroom in the Bronx, New York. My room was filled with Salsa music from downstairs, it made the room vibrate and all the frames gently moved. I never minded the vibrations, they kept me company. While sitting in front of the air conditioner daydreaming, observing the busy fruit markets across the street, I imagined myself with a basket picking fruits conversing with the local vendor. Oh, how I dream of talking to strangers and meeting new friends along the way… perhaps next time.

Some say I've developed fear and social anxiety but I say I'm just waiting for the right time, waiting for the right moment. Suddenly, I heard a loud knock coming from the front door. Visitors? Me? I haven't had someone knock at my door since my last food delivery. I look through the peephole and there was no one there. I really dislike children sometimes… Knock! Knock! Knock! There it goes again and this time, it sounds like they’re really are looking for attention. I quickly remove my left slipper and hold it up before opening the door just incase I have to defend myself. Ready for what comes next I open the door and there is no one there.

Confused I put my slipper back on and I poke my head outside the hallway to see if they ran off… nothing. While I was closing the door, I looked down and at the floor, there was a little black book just laying there. I bend over and reach for it when instantaneously the book opens on its own to a blank page. I got a little closer to see what this was about when I get pulled into the book and my body transports inside.

I was able to open my eyes for this moment and I no longer had the cold floor under me in fact, there was no floor at all. I was floating. I saw the night sky around me and a whole bunch of nothing. A quick flash comes towards me and I open my eyes once more. My vision clears and I see an enormous Disco ball above me, rotating. I begin to hear music surrounding me, getting louder and louder. Where am I? Is this a dream?

A woman in rollerblades holding a silver plate on one hand and twirling her other hand along with the rhythm comes toward me to hand me the little black book. As I hold onto it, the book quickly flies up and begins to shuffle its pages. It opened up to a page that read, "All it takes is two to boogie." The book quickly shuts in front of my face as soon as a read it. A singular page comes out and takes my hand, twirls me as we begin to dance. I began to allow myself to be present, I closed my eyes. I felt as one with this moment in time, the neon lights shined through my eyes. I felt as if I was being baptized by the divine.

I gently began to open my eyes after a while and the rooms begin to shift. The walls began to open themselves and the space continued to expand. In the far corner I see a gold mirror. This golden mirror was long with the embellishment of antiquity. I can tell that the reflection shined intentionally in a way that invited me over, I saw the rays shining towards me. I walked towards it slowly.

The little black book gently fell into my hands and shuffled through its pages. The page read “It’s time to face your truth. Who are you?" The book gently brushed down from my face revealing the beautiful mirror before me.

The mirror quickly flashed and a young girl looked back at me through the reflection. I saw her hands together as she moved from side to side with a smile that made her appear curious but very shy at the same time. I saw her long beautiful braid made by my mother and on the end tying that thick black hair together was with my favorite pink scrunchy. It reminded me that I was a princess. I began to cry as I saw myself, I saw my inner child, I saw me. She looked at me, she began to tuck her head into her neck and I could feel in my heart that she was afraid. I knew she wanted to run.

She looked away from me and that was when I laid my hand on the mirror and whispered to my reflection “Don’t worry my Niña I am here to protect you. I am your warrior”. While tears flowed through my eyes I could not help but wonder… did I forget about her? When I walked through this earth and the years kept coming at me, did I forget about that little girls dreams? I saw her take a breath and gently raised her eyes to meet mine. There we were, staring at each other. She opens her hands and raises her head and says, “Por favor no me olvides.” I gasp in awe and repeat it back to her as I am to myself “Please, don’t forget me.” I can feel her heart begin to sparkle and so does mine. She approaches the mirror and kisses me in my forehead. This kiss filled with so much intention felt as if the wounds that I carried in me, once so deep were now nothing but a calm wave under a beautiful sunny day.

I allowed myself to breathe into this feeling for it was something that I always wished for, for so long. I saw myself flying and being lifted. I saw myself being touched with a big white beautiful light. A flash suddenly occurred and I gently open my eyes, I see my window from my room and the big Melrose Ave street sign outside. I was in my room again. I feel my soft sheets under my fingers and brush into them with a sense of gratitude. As I continue to brush on my patterned traditional quilted sheets there goes the little black book again. I smile and turn over to lay on my belly and allow the book to do its magic. The beautiful pages shuffled and I stared at them in amazement, the page stops on a blank sheet and words begin to form. It read, “Now that you have traveled past time, past your wishes, and past your fears, it is time to create the reality you want to see. It all starts with what you want to believe. Please, write below what it will be.”

Suddenly I feel a rush of excitement travel through my head, down to my feet. I rush to get a pen and begin to write, “I am an Artist, I am a dreamer, and I am a healer. I will create Art. I want to create an interactive exhibit where the individual faces travels through time and into their inner child where they will find healing. Create a space to give them strength to make their dreams come true like I want to.” I could not help but smile and look down at the page for the first time feeling free and proud. I close the little black book and hold it on to my heart with gratitude, as I do my hair gets stuck in the back. There appears to be a hidden folder inside of it. I open this folder and inside I find $20,000. This was my metamorphosis.