Life Happens For Me, Not To Me

For most of my life, whenever something went wrong, my first thought was, “Why is this happening to me?” It didn’t matter if it was something big, like missing out on an opportunity I really wanted, or something small, like missing the bus or having plans fall apart at the very last minute. I often believed that life was working against me instead of with me.

Honestly, living that way is very exhausting.

Carrying every disappointment feels like walking through life with a backpack full of stones, very heavy. Each setback, delay, or heartbreak adds another stone. Over time, the weight becomes so familiar that you barely notice it. You simply get used to feeling heavy.

Everything changed for me the day I heard a simple statement:

“Life happens for me, not to me.”

At first, it sounded like one of those inspirational phrases people usually say without much thought. The words were really nice, but they seemed too idealistic to be valid or real, to say the least. Still, the idea stayed with me. I started repeating it to myself during tough times, quietly reminding myself when things didn’t go as planned. Gradually, it changed how I saw everything.

Life can reroute like a GPS

Think about using a GPS. You make a wrong turn—maybe you’re distracted, maybe you missed a sign, or maybe the road just seemed more familiar. Right away, the system says, “Rerouting.” There’s no panic, no blame, and no drama. Just a calm redirection.

What if life works the same way?

What we often call a “wrong turn” is really just a reroute. A frustrating delay might actually be saving us from something we’re not ready for. A closed door could be keeping us out of a situation that might harm us. A sudden change might be leading us toward something that fits who we are becoming.

We don’t always see the whole map.

But life does, yes.

When we move from asking, “Why is this happening to me?” to “How is this happening for me?”, everything turns into a lesson, a message, or a redirection. It stops feeling like a punishment.

Consider the seed buried in the soil...

One analogy that comforts me is the seed in the soil. If a seed could think or feel, it might believe it was being buried alive. The darkness, pressure, weight, and silence don’t feel like growth.

Yet that underground moment is where everything starts.

Before a seed breaks through the soil and reaches the sun, it grows strong roots where no one can see. Before it becomes something beautiful and full of purpose, it survives a time of darkness.

So many of us are seeds in the soil without realising it.

We feel stuck when we’re actually growing.

We feel buried when we’re being planted.

We feel forgotten when we’re being prepared.

Life isn’t pushing us down. It’s setting us up for something better.

Some detours end up saving us...

Everyone has a personal story of being redirected in a meaningful way if they think back carefully. You didn’t get the job you believed was perfect, only to discover months or years later that the company dissolved. Maybe a relationship ended painfully, and you wondered how you would ever recover, only to meet someone later who matched your energy, your values, and your dreams in ways you never imagined possible. Maybe a plan fell apart, leaving you devastated, only to have a better, more fulfilling opportunity show up unexpectedly.

In the moment, these events feel like a loss.

But time reveals their purpose.

Rejection becomes redirection.

Disappointment becomes protection.

Delay becomes preparation.

Life often lines things up in ways we can’t see until we look back.

Step out of the victim mindset...

Believing that “Life happens for me” doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect. It’s not about ignoring pain or forcing yourself to smile through real hardship. Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes it’s unfair. Life tests us in ways we wouldn’t choose.

But this mindset helps us let go of the weight of every setback.

It invites us to look for meaning rather than misery.

When something goes wrong, instead of spiralling into frustration or self-blame, you begin to ask:

“What is this teaching me?”

“Where is this leading me?”

“What strength is being built in me?”

And those questions open the door to growth, yes they do.

This perspective gives you strength. It may not give you control over what happens, but it changes how you handle it.

Partner with Life...

Imagine waking up and believing that life is supporting you. Imagine facing challenges with curiosity instead of fear. Imagine trusting that even unexpected moments have a purpose, even if you don’t see it yet.

This shift transforms everything...

You walk with more peace.

You move with more confidence.

You stop fighting every change and start going with the flow of your journey.

Life becomes less about surviving and more about evolving.

And slowly, beautifully, you begin to see the truth:

Life has always been happening for you.

You’re just finally learning to recognise it.