Let's talk about R

* What is R?

‘Rs’ are exciting. They are the most important aspect of our lives - our Rs with our parents, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, children, grandchildren, friends, neighbours, other people, our R with GOD who created us, our Rs with other nations, etc. By nature, every one of us is in one way or the other in a R.

There is a first time for everything . . . including Rs. Not in any R at all is a chronic disease, being in a good R is a win.

Nowadays Rs between people are like deflated balloons . . . broken, people are unwilling or incapable of coming together. People should take R seriously as a journey . . . not as a destination.

R is a big idea. The spirit of R is bigger and stronger than the devil that is in people. This Goliath sort of idea is about bringing the world together, so that we truly are not just people and nations under God and indivisible, but one family under God and indivisible."

As you read and apply R principles, may you receive help in time of need, guidance in R’s problems, a deeper knowledge of R, hope for the future, peace of mind, and an assurance of eternal R?

* The Anatomy of ‘R’

‘R’ is:

. the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected.

. the state of being connected by blood or marriage.

. the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other.

The concept of "Rs and family" is broad and varies from person to person.

Personal Rs refer to close connections between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow from and are strengthened by mutual experiences.

The purpose of a ‘R’ is to live within and maintain the social structures.

There are three different types of symbiotic Rs:

mutualism, commensalism, and parasitism.

. Mutualism: both partners benefit.

. Commensalism: only one species benefits while the other does not, but is neither helped nor harmed.

. Parasitism: A parasitic relationship is one in which one organism, the parasite, lives off another organism, the host, harming it and possibly causing death. The parasite lives on or in the body of the host. A few examples of parasites are tapeworms, fleas, and barnacles. Parasitism is a relationship between two different organisms where one of the organisms actually harms the other through the R. The organism that is harming the other one is a parasite.

Examples of Parasitism: Fleas or ticks that live on dogs and cats are parasites.

* Your ‘R’ can be a happy one

In these critical times when Rs and family are under attack, is it possible to have a happy R? There are solid Biblical Principles and practical suggestions available that, if applied properly, will contribute to the happiness of your R.

When a R mate is unfaithful – R unfaithfulness is devastating. True, some mates have found that they can forgive a repentant mate and rebuild their R. But whether the R survives or not, those who discover that their mate has been unfaithful invariably suffer intense agony. How can such ones deal with their fragile emotions?

Despite the heartache, many innocent mates have found comfort in the Scriptures. They have learned that God sees their tears and shares their pain.

“With someone loyal you act in loyalty.” “ Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication . . . let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts.”

* Look to God for a happy ‘R’

Always look to our merciful father God for a happy R! “The one who created them from the beginning made them male and female.” God performed the first R – R between God and human beings, and between Adam and Eve (our fore parents).

Ask your mate how you can be a better husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. Listen carefully, and do what you can to improve your R.

Be patient. It will take time for both of you to learn how to make each other happy. Pray for help on open mind before discussing serious matters with your mate. Think carefully about what you will say and how you will say it.

Share your feelings with your mate, not just information or opinions. Consult with your mate before making commitments. Do not expect perfection of yourself or of your mate. Choose to focus on your mate’s good qualities.

Ask yourself . . . can my mate sense that I care for him or her more than I care for myself? What have I done today to show love and respect to my mate?

Be patient and your R will become stronger day by day.

* Be loyal to each other when in ‘R’

Every good R is precious before God and human beings. “What God has yoked together, let no man/woman put apart” We are required to cherish loyalty. This is especially important in Rs because without loyalty, there is no trust.

Moreover, trust is essential for love to flourish.

Today, loyalty in Rs is under attack. To protect your R, you must be determined to make your ‘R’ a priority. It is one of the most important things in your life. It deserves priority. Make sure that you regularly spend time together, giving your mate your undivided attention and enjoy life together. Think of “we” instead of “me”. Make your mate feel needed and appreciated. Be honest with yourself, and identify your weaknesses. Is my mate my best friend? Do not be embarrassed to ask for help. Make it obvious to others that you are completely committed to your mate, and make sure you remain loyal to your mate.

* How to solve ‘R’ problems

“Have intense love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.” As you and your mate start your R journey or your life together, various problems will arise. They may result from differences in how each of you thinks, feels, and approaches life. Or problems may come from outside sources and unexpected events. It can be tempting to avoid reality, but we have to face our problems by applying Bible principles.

“There is . . . a time to speak.” Make sure that you spend time talking about the problem. Honestly, let your mate know how you feel and what you think on the subject. Always “speak truth” with your mate. Even when strong emotions are involved, resist the urge to fight. A calm answer can keep what should be a simple discussion from escalating into a battle. Even if you disagree, remain gracious, never forgetting to show love and respect to your mate.

Try to resolve the issue as soon as possible, and do not stop communicating. Set an appropriate time to discuss the problem. When it is your turn to listen, resist the urge to interrupt. You will get your turn to speak.

“Have tender affection for one another. In showing honour to one another, take the lead.” How you listen is very important. Try to understand your mate’s point of view with “fellow feeling . . . and humility.” Do not just pretend to listen.

When possible, put aside what you are doing and give your mate full attention, or ask if you can discuss this later. If you think of your R mate as your teammate rather than your opponent, you will “not be quick to take offense.” Keep listening with an open mind, even if what you are hearing displeases you.

Listen for the messages behind the words. Notice your mate’s body language and tone of voice.

“There is benefit in every kind of hard work, but mere talk leads to want.”

Agreeing on a good solution is not enough. You need to follow through on what you both decide. This may involve hard work and much effort, but it will be worth it. If you work together as a team, you will “have a good reward” for your hard work. Decide what practical steps you will each take to solve your problem, and from time to time, evaluate your progress.

By working together, you can ensure that your R will be strong and happy rather than weak and miserable. Look to the future, and do not bring up past problems. When you cooperate with each other and apply Bible principles, you can handle any problem successfully.

Ask yourself . . . What is the most urgent problem that I want to discuss with my R mate? What can I do to understand how my mate really feels about the problem? “Clothe yourselves with . . . kindness, humility, mildness, and patience.”

* Keep peace with your relatives while in ‘R’

“Clothe yourselves with . . . kindness, humility, mildness, and patience.”

Intimate R creates a new family. However, you will always love and respect parents, your mate is now your second half. Bible principles can help you to find a balance, so that you can keep peace with your relatives as you work hard to build your new family R.

“Honour your father and your mother.” Regardless of how old you are, you always need to honour and respect your parents. Recognise that your mate too, as a son or daughter, needs to give attention to his or her parents.

“Love is not jealous,” so never feel threatened by the R your mate has with them. Avoid making broad statements, such as “Your family always puts me down” or “Your mother never likes what I do”. Try to see things from your R mate’s perspective.

“A man/woman will leave his/her father and his/her mother and he will stick to his/her wife/husband, and they will become one flesh.” When you marry, your parents may feel that they are still responsible for you, and they may want to be more involved in your marriage than they should be. It is up to you and your mate to agree on what boundaries you will set for them and then lovingly let them know. You can be open and direct without being rude. Humility, mildness, and patience will help you build a warm R with your relatives and “putting up with one another in love.”

If you are concerned about how much the relatives are involved in your life, discuss it with your mate when things are calm. Come to a mutual agreement on how you will take care of these matters. It is important to understand your parents’ feelings and their point of view. They do not mean any harm with their involvement. They genuinely care about you and your mate as an independent family. They may even feel abandoned.

Nevertheless, by following Bible principles and by having open communication, you will still be able to honour your parents without compromising your R.

* Good ‘R’ with your neighbours

Good R is the way forward . . . Knowing your neighbours and being in a good R with them can be extremely useful.

Neighbours - Everybody needs good neighbours, but do we have an idea who our neighbours are? Most people do not know their neighbours names and are not in a R with them.

So there’s never been a time to think about how knowing and being in a good R with our neighbours might be useful – for both sides of the garden fence.

Let’s face it, if you are on good terms with those living nearby, there is always someone to water the plants, collect the post and feed the hamster while you are away.

There is also a financial benefit to creating a good atmosphere in the neighbourhood. Most people would prefer to pay more for a home with someone trustworthy and quiet living next door.

There are many health benefits of living in a community, if you are feeling a bit down, knowing and engaging with those around you releases ‘happy’ hormones – providing a boost to your mood. Even just a smile and a wave can brighten the day. Perhaps you need a hand around the house; whether you are looking for a repair-person or a gardener, a word-of-mouth recommendation is likely to be more trustworthy than an online advertisement.

Advice about schools and local amenities from those who have lived in the area for years is jolly useful to newcomers. These are just a few of the tempting enough reasons to join the bandwagon, promote your Rs, and silence your doubters.

* ‘R’ Power to you!

You are here because you are in a R with one or more of the following:

R with your parents, boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, children, grandchildren, friends, neighbours, other people, R between patients and doctors, pupils and teachers, employers and employees, customers and banks, our R with GOD who created us, and R with other nations, etc.

* You know that R should be a very long journey . . . not a destination.

Right?

Ok. Do your own part to make the journey smooth and sweet.

Are you or the people in your life worthy of a R?

Does your R with other people look like a deflated balloon? You can inflate your Rs to the full or maximum if you really want.

Does your R look like a half-full glass of water? You can make it a full glass of R. It’s possible - where there’s a will, there’s a way!

* Let’s talk about You and ’R’

It takes two to tango:

So,

. What is ‘R’?

. Are you in a R?

. What is your definition of ‘journey’?

. What is your definition of ‘destination’?

. Is ‘R’ a journey or a destination for you?

. Are you worthy of a R?

. What sorts of Rs have you had in your life?

. Do you enjoy Rs?

. Which one do you prefer: a journey type or a destination type of R?

. Do you deserve any reward for the type of R you have chosen?

. Is your partner, husband, wife, friend, worthy of a R?

. What is your R score? Poor, Good, or Excellent? Be honest with yourself!

. Are you willing to keep it up or improve on your R?

* Life is better with R . . . Something of interest – or is it?

If a R looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it probably is a duck. The so-called “Duck Test” suggests you can usually identify a R from its general look. It’s often reliable, but appearances can still deceive.

So, what the hell is ‘R’ and where can you find R???

‘R’ in this story stands for . . . Relationship!!!

You can find R in the air?

ha - ha - ha . . . I got you!

********************************************************************** Thanks a million times to everyone reading 'Let's talk about R', for getting actively involved in promoting R as a journey . . . You rock the people in your life and the whole world. I wish you a happy R! God Bless You (GBY)! **********************************************************************

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