Lauren's Liberation

I’m just going to put this out there...

I am a nobody. I grew up in foster care where I bounced from home to home. I was adopted at the age of 4 and given away by 10. I don’t come from money or have a famous last name. My whole life, I have been the stereotype of a small-town girl with big dreams who was determined, come hell or high water, to make something of herself. Despite my humble beginnings, I still consider myself fortunate. A lot of children in similar situations don’t grow up to be functional adults. The terror of their childhood gave birth to demons that they couldn’t overcome. I also consider myself fortunate because while I had it rough growing up, I know that there are those that had it much worse. It breaks my heart.

Music and writing have always been my lifelines. I have dedicated my life to pursuing a career in music. Along this journey, I re-discovered my passion for writing and have tried to incorporate that as well. While songwriting is my natural forte, I am working on screenplays, blogs, and a novel. In December of 2014, I had a life altering experience in the form of a health scare that changed me forever. I could have let it have a crippling effect but instead I saw it as the fire lit under me to make a move. I flocked to Los Angeles like a lot of dreamers do in hopes of catching my big break or selling my first song. Living the typical life of an amateur artist, I slept on floors, went hungry, and made $32 last for two weeks until the next payday because I spent most of my check on studio time. To this day, I still can’t eat ramen or a simple PB&J. It was a period that brought about numerous challenges but secretly I loved it. Every decision I made; every day that passed by, I was convinced that I was one step closer to my dreams becoming a reality, so I didn’t mind going to bed hungry or working multiple jobs. But life happens and my mom passed away. I felt compelled to move back to that small town in Florida to acclimate my dad to his new life as a widower. Back home, I tried to keep the ball rolling as far as my music career went with no such luck. I tried to focus on my writing, but I had lost a little bit of that thunder I once had. Just when I thought I was ready to get back on the stage and start performing again, life made another dramatic entrance in the form of a global pandemic. We all know how that went. The world stood still. Plans were put on hold. Lives destroyed. I truly believe that we are entering the post-pandemic era but what does that look like? Where do you even begin to pick up the pieces? So here I am, starting over again yet another time trying to figure all this out.

From a young age, I knew what my life’s purpose was. I knew it was to uplift and encourage others around me. Whether it be through my music or writing, my witty banter, or sense of humor. Or the biggest one, my story and boy do I have one to tell! I was reminded of that recently when my new business venture was placed upon my heart. As a victim of too many “me too” incidents in my early singing career, I have recently declared myself an independent female artist. I want to have more say on my body, creative license, and how I choose to portray myself in the media. I am also starting a website which will include a blog, video journal, podcast, and dating column. In a few words, I have tried to give a brief synopsis of my story, but I barely scratched the service. I am starting on this journey to tell my story, but also tell the stories of others. My hope is that we as humans won’t feel so alone when we know that everyday people have or are going through the same things. In a society where social media is forever present, we have gotten used to the filters people place upon their lives, bodies, and faces to paint a pretty picture for our peers for various reasons. Acceptance. Reassurance. Greed. Envy. Boastfulness. I want to counteract some of that illusion by sharing my truth and inspiring others to do the same. I think it’s time we shine a brighter light on ingenuity and realness. I think people will listen to me because I know a lot of them feel the same way I do. They are tired of a fabricated narrative to fit an agenda. I want to start conversations and have voices heard that normally wouldn’t be. Before you discriminate, advocate, and educate. Those are words I have always tried to live by. I hope to travel back to the group home I was in as a child to do a segment on the brokenness that is the foster care system. I am constructing a panel of members of the LBGTQIA+ community in my town to discuss issues they deal with. Why it’s important to establish their pronouns, gender fluidity and much more. I am also planning a segment on racism and inequality. As a victim of sexual assault, I want to make the world uncomfortable and ruffle some feathers by telling my accounts of these events and finding other women to do the same. It’s an issue that society keeps trying to sweep under the rug, but I refuse to let that happen. I know this saying is getting overused but, the future is in fact female so I will be doing short pieces on women-owned businesses. Most of my intentions on what I’m trying to achieve are rooted in riding the wave that is the women’s empowerment movement. I will not be a bystander. Instead, I want to be a part of the movement and encourage other women to do the same in all areas of their lives. I want to gain some understanding and insight from people who live their truth in my “backyard”. I want to positively impact the people around me. I’m all about changing the narrative and that begins with me. I have done a lot of soul searching the past few months to prepare myself for this moment. Coming to terms with my past. Embracing the struggles of the present that will lead to an amazing future. Most of that had to do with ego. I had to put my pride to the side to be able to share my truth. I had to change my view on vulnerability and see it as a sign of strength, not weakness. I had to forgive myself and I am working on forgiving others.

I plan to make parts of my website “members only” depending on the issue or topic. I will be documenting more of my music journey as well that will be membership based. People often ask me why I’m not famous singing around the world yet…let me show you why firsthand! Planning out my album, finding ways to gain capital for promotion and expenses, constructing a band, networking, photoshoots, and I could go on will be a part of my “behind the scenes” portion of my website for fans and supporters. I’ll also include videos on what it’s like to produce music. I’ll be discussing the pressure I put on myself in maintaining a certain image and body positivity and how women are faring in such a male-dominated industry. I want to build a community of writers that can share ideas and encourage one another.

People will listen because they will be able to relate. I’m not trying to present a version of myself that has it all together and figured out. I’m learning as I go and adapting as circumstances play out. I am embracing the beautiful chaos that is my life and giving others a little “peek behind the curtain” as they say. My hope is that more people follow suit. Together we can try to close the gap between us and tear down the walls made up of our differences and find a peaceful co-existence for all. It amazes me how one gains a “platform”. From releasing underwhelming sex tapes to putting gorilla glue in your hair to spewing out such hatred for clout and engagement, however negative. What saddens me is what most of these people do with such a platform. I have decided to build my own platform and be the change you wish to see in the world! Like I said before, it begins with me. It begins with you.