It's Time To Stop Running!

If I received a dollar for every time I stated the obvious in my blog entries, by mentioning the fact that life is full of challenges, adversities, hardships, failures, rejections, and setbacks, I'd be wealthy by now. Sadly, it is the truth though, and we'd be extremely naïve not to acknowledge that. Life indeed tests us in so many ways, it tears us apart, it grinds us into the ground, and it drags us to incredible lows. Thankfully, life delivers us some wonderful blessings, the right to happiness, some incredible highs, and so much to be grateful for also. Ultimately, we are given the choice in which way we wish to perceive life, be it that we focus on all the negatives, or by feeling blessed and uplifted by focusing on all the positives. One thing is for sure, no matter how mentally strong and disciplined we are in continually focusing on the positives in life, it doesn't make us exempt from all those challenges, adversities, hardships, failures, rejections, and setbacks, that life throws at us. The difference with those who are mentally strong and disciplined is they choose to still focus on gratitude and positivity, despite how dire their circumstances may become, and they proactively seek out the opportunities that lie within the adversity they are experiencing. It's not an easy thing to do, let me tell you, and takes many years of mind training and strengthening to perfect, but what it all comes back to is ourselves, and what we allow our mind to focus on. Once again, it's a choice. In times of adversity and trial, not only do we have a choice in regards to our mindset, and what we choose to focus on, but we also have a choice in how we react to it, and how we plan to overcome it.

Stating the obvious again, but adversity, trials, hardships, and the like, are never pleasant. They can indeed take us down to levels of unhappiness and depression that we have never encountered before, such can be their severity. We can find ourselves crouched down on the floor, writhing in agony, wailing from the intense pain that some of these adversities and trials cause us. I've been in that exact position only a couple of months back, and it was undoubtedly the most painful experience I have ever encountered. Despite all the pain and suffering though, and no matter how much we sit around crying and feeling sorry for ourselves, these adversities and trials don't just magically disappear. Many of us have a tendency to close ourselves off from the world, we barricade ourselves up in our home, and we sit around in hope that our circumstances will get better, that the situation will just sort itself out, and we can move on and find happiness in our life once again. Some of us go out in public and put a brave face on, trying to continue on living life as normal, pretending like nothing is happening, whilst inside we are hurting so intensely. Some of us actually take immediate ownership of the issue, we are proactive, and we go straight to work on finding a solution and rectifying the problem, despite how uncomfortable, difficult, and painful, it may be. Then there are those who will try and run from their problems. Similar to those who close themselves off from the world, and hope that their circumstances will improve, these people instead believe that by running from the adversity, trials, hardships, and problems, they are facing, will result in the perfect solution for them. Rarely it does however!

There's nothing wrong with seeking out a fresh start in life. I've done it myself, having relocated from my home city of Adelaide, where I was born, grew up, and lived for 30 years of my life. My life had become stale, I wasn't happy, and I wanted to challenge myself, by relocating to a state and a community where I knew no one, I had no friends around, and I had no family around. I dragged myself out of my comfort zone to try something new, and grow myself. I moved to the beautiful state of Tasmania, and ultimately ended up here in picturesque Hobart, after spending a couple of years on the north east coast of the island. I love it here, and although I have moments where I am home sick, I'd be hard pressed to move back now. So making a fresh start can do us wonders, but having said that, we need to be sure we are doing it for the right reasons. We shouldn't be relocating just to avoid our problems, but instead, to grow ourselves and to enhance our future. I noted on social media the other day, one of my friends has been having arguments and disagreements with one of his former partners, and he placed a post up stating that he was over it, and was going to look at relocating interstate. It's a classic example of running away from our problems. He is allowing his former partner to manipulate his mindset, ultimately influencing him to make a decision that is not based on what's necessarily right for him, but purely just to avoid any further confrontation. Now we all know it's not easy to deal with certain people, and there are many toxic individuals who will continually seek to make our life difficult, make us feel bad, and try and manipulate us, but we should never run away from this sort of thing, despite how uncomfortable it may be. We need to stand up for ourselves, prove that we are not going to pushed around or influenced by their negativity and toxicity, and make decisions that are truly beneficial for us, rather than to satisfy someone else's wishes. That's where mind strengthening and control comes back into play again, having the ability to repel the negativity of others, to remain calm and controlled, and to deny anyone else the right to manipulate our mindset.

Broken relationships are undoubtedly one of the biggest reasons why so many people seek to run away and relocate. I know myself that I would prefer to be miles and miles away from my former partners, and just leave them in my past where they belong, but whether you're 2 miles away from them, or 2,000 miles, what matters is our ability to move on from them, to move on from the past, and be focusing on our future. Sometimes we still need to see them, as we may have children with them, but it certainly doesn't mean we have to associate with them and be friends with them, especially if they are negative, pessimistic, and toxic. Interact with them as minimally as possible, and when in their presence, ensure you maintain a positive mindset and don't be drawn in to their negativity. Such people love to provoke and antagonize, so we need to be mentally prepared for that, and not lower ourselves to their standard. Running away from our problems doesn't necessarily mean we are physically running away from them though, such as relocating, it can also mean we are simply avoiding them. It's having that attitude that if we just take one day at a time, and try and avoid paying attention to our problems, hopefully they might just go away. Life doesn't work like that though! In fact, life purposely throws these adversities, trials, and challenges, on us in order to ensure we keep learning, growing, and maturing. Because we are such a routined species, we often find ourselves becoming stagnant with any progress in life, and we become stale, just like with myself as I mentioned above. If we are not progressing and growing, life will give us a subtle nudge, and then start making circumstances a little uncomfortable, to the point it forces us to act and make changes. The problem is, the longer we try and avoid dealing with these circumstances and problems, the more uncomfortable it becomes. If we leave it too long, our life becomes extremely unhappy and miserable, even to the point where we fall into depression. That's when we reach breaking point, which is the push that finally has us taking action.

Whether you are physically trying to run away from your problems, or just running away from them in the sense of simply trying to avoid dealing with them, either option only ends up creating more unhappiness and suffering. Why do so many of us choose to run? Simple, because it's the easy option, and one in which we believe requires less effort. It could be in a marriage or relationship, in which we find ourselves unhappy and unsatisfied, that our partner isn't bringing us the joy and excitement we expected of them, so rather than converse with them openly and honestly, we break it off, because it's easier. We simply don't want to apply ourselves to, or work hard on, enhancing the relationship. Why is it, that even despite how much we despise our job, and how much it continually makes us unhappy and miserable, we still remain there? Because, despite being unhappy, we are comfortable, as it's what we know, what we have knowledge in, we still get our paycheck, and it's easier than applying for other jobs, attending interviews, or starting up a business. Why is it that we constantly cry of poverty, that we never have surplus money to spend on ourselves, and the fact that we are constantly battling just to make ends meet? Again, because despite being unhappy and poor, we are comfortable in our job and hours, as it's what we know, what we have knowledge in, and it's easier than applying for other jobs, attending interviews, or starting up a business, plus the fact we couldn't be bothered applying ourselves to a higher income earning working option. Why is it that we constantly whinge and complain we don't have this and that in life, and that we never get to achieve our goals? Simple, because despite being unhappy and miserable in not achieving our goals, it's easier to just sit back and hope to win the lottery, or wait for retirement, rather than getting off our butt, applying ourselves to hard work, battling our way through failures and challenges, and pursuing our goals. The answers to our problems stare us right in the face, but we choose to run away from them because we are fearful, doubtful, or just plain lazy.

It may be significant adversity, or it may just be the constant unhappiness of not gaining satisfaction in various aspects of our life or life in general, but either way, these are problems, these are issues before us. How we choose to react and then handle these problems and issues will ultimately define us. If we continually turn around and run from them, rather than work on solving them, and be creating a life of our desire, we are going to face a future of disappointment, unhappiness, failure, and misery. We simply cannot achieve anything if we turn and run from doing the hard work, if we avoid facing up the discomfort of certain tasks and actions, and if we avoid fighting for the life we desire. You have to embrace these adversities, trials, hardships, challenges, and failures. You don't have to like them, but you need to accept them! You have to use them as an opportunity to push yourself, to roll your sleeves up and get dirty. Our problems are like a lion. You can try and run from that lion as long as you like, but eventually it will catch up to you and consume you. You need to work out how you can defend yourself from this lion instead, as impossible as it may seem. It's what we each have a brain for, to work through adversity and devise a solution. Each time we devise a solution to our problems, we gain experience, which then helps us to grow, develop, and mature, just as life intends for us to do. It's time to stop running from your problems! There will be one after the other, and that will never change, be that if we choose to pursue our goals or not, as there will always be challenges. Embrace them, accept them, take ownership of them, and solve them. Four steps to problem solving. No matter the level of adversity, or the problems that you face, you need to take action in solving them. Take courage, be resilient, and do what you need to do. You'll be glad you did, and gain strength and development in the process.

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