It's okay if all you did today was breathe.

I had a very important thought yesterday. It is okay that I only got a few things accomplished. This thought was new to me. I have never been able to feel this way before. My days are filled with so much that there is not much time to breathe.

The struggle

As a stay-at-home mom with ADHD, anxiety, and depression, it's very hard to live the way I wish I could. I don't mean that in the way that most young mothers do. Some young parents feel like they miss out on "fun" and their "dreams". Being a mother has always been my dream. Most times I have trouble focusing, and I get overwhelmed and overstimulated. Some days, this drives me right into a meltdown, and I can't do anything but cry and stare at the walls.

My to-do list for every day is always long. On top of chores, I have to make sure I meet all the needs of both my toddlers and my husband. I always want to take care of all of them first, and this makes me forget about myself. I will get everything done, but still feel terrible at the end of the day. I haven't eaten all day or only had a few sips of water. Sometimes, I didn't get a chance to shower because the kids needed every second of my attention. I run myself to the end of my abilities. I'm finally learning how to break this habit.

The 15-minute rule

Some days when I have so much to do, I will set a timer for myself and do things in 15-minute intervals. After the timer goes off, I have to stop and drink water or eat something. Maybe I'll read or just scroll on my phone for a minute. After 15 minutes, I go back to what I was doing. This helps me take care of myself during the day, but sometimes I still feel guilty if I don't finish everything.

Validate Yourself

Yesterday, no matter how hard I tried, I could not get myself to finish anything. I just looked at the dishes in the sink, the laundry pile, and the messy countertop. Everyone always compliments me on how clean my home is, but sometimes it's just not up to my standards. I had stressed all week over other things, and my mind just couldn't handle anything else. By the end of the day, I found myself standing over the dishes. I made myself focus and clean them, and when I was done, I thought, 'I got nothing else done today, but it's okay'. It felt so good to give myself the validation that I don't always have to be perfect and finish everything because it will get done. I know it's okay to take a break; I don't always have to push myself to my mental limit. All I did yesterday was breathe and exist, and that's okay. I've realized the importance of being able to set boundaries for ourselves. I talk a lot about setting boundaries for others, but if we don't permit ourselves to practiceself care, then we aren't taking care of anything or anyone else either.

The Realization

We can attempt to be perfect or superhuman and fit a year's worth of work into a day. If we accomplish all of that, great, but we shouldn't do this consistently and push ourselves to burnout. Feeling a sense of accomplishment is only great when it's not at the expense of our overall well-being. So, some days, the only thing that will be on my to-do list is BREATH.