It's a bit early, isn't it?

I’m going to save more money… Ooooh look, a New Year’s sale event…

I’m going to eat a lot healthier… Hey, what is the secret ingredient to these new chocolate caramel donuts?

I am as guilty as anyone for not sticking to these resolutions, often established with great intentions. But our motivations tend to dissipate very quickly. I’ve heard the saying that the busiest place on Earth is a gym on January 1, and the quietest place on Earth is a gym on January 30!

The worst is, we all know what’s good for us, we know what we need to do, but we don’t do it. If you need to lose weight, exercise more and eat healthier, yet we will fork out money for a variety of programs that tell us the same thing. If we want that new car, or holiday or Barbie playhouse, then save your money.

Almost 15 years ago I was diagnosed with depression, PTSD and anxiety, after the initial shock of that wore off, I had to start to learn my own self-care. Here’s the thing, a lot of the things I needed to start doing to get myself better I knew I needed to do, I just didn’t. I learnt the benefits of regular exercise, eating healthier and talking with people about things that bothered me. But there was one more thing, and that was the hardest thing to learn and keep doing: I had to learn to be kind to myself.

There were days I couldn’t exercise hard, so I would just go for a short walk. There were days where I would eat some sugary treats, but I also love sugary treats as long as I had them in moderation. I also learnt to shift my mindset and let my internal voice be a bit nicer. Instead of waking up and saying, “Come on you lazy toad, get up” I learned that if I shifted to words to say “Hey, let’s get up you know that if you get moving then you’ll feel a lot better for the day”. It started with simple things and grew to being generally more positive about myself, my work and my relationships.

I had always struggled with the notion that people genuinely like me, or if they did like me, they would dislike me if I said or did anything they didn’t like. That was the hardest, longest journey to get to where I am now. I have been blessed to have some amazing friends in my life who over time would tell me why they were friends with me, what they respected about me, and in time I came to believe it.

So here I am today, it’s New Years Day and I’m staring down a new year. At this point I have survived mental health issues, lived for almost two years in a global pandemic, and I’ve maintained a successful career. I only need one resolution, and that is that I need to be kind to myself. That too is not an easy resolution to keep.

There will be nights where I will wake up stressed about work, and I need to learn to say “I will be a lot better to everyone if I get a good night’s sleep, then I can solve that problem in the morning”. When I travel for work, the temptation is to go out and catch up with people for drinks, but if I plan to catch up an hour later, that will give me some time for some exercise, or rest.

One last thing is learning to ask for help. I had it explained to me once, that if I found out a friend had been suffering and didn’t ask for help because they didn’t want to be a burden, my response would be “Don’t be silly, I’m your friend and will always help”. So why don’t I afford myself that same privilege? What makes me think that I’m not deserving of my friends help? The answer is the same, I’m just not kind to myself.

I can learn to afford myself the same courtesy I give everyone else. Like anything, it is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced. So practice I will.

Here's to 2022, the year of being kind to myself!