Is it normal to talk to yourself?

As your morning alarm blares,

you mutter to yourself, “Why did I set it so early?” While brushing your teeth,

you think, “I need a haircut... unless?” Rushing out the front door,

you reach for your keys and realize they’re not there. Frustrated you shout,

“I can’t do anything right!” just in time to notice your neighbor. Being caught talking to yourself

can feel embarrassing, and some people even stigmatize this

behavior as a sign of mental instability. But decades of psychology research show

that talking to yourself is completely normal. In fact, most, if not all, of us engage

in some form of self-talk every single day. So why do we talk to ourselves? And does what we say matter? Self-talk refers to the narration

inside your head, sometimes called inner speech. It differs from mental imagery

or recalling facts and figures. Specifically, psychologists

define self-talk as verbalized thoughts directed toward

yourself or some facet of your life. This includes personal conversations like

“I need to work on my free throw.” But it also includes reflections

you have throughout the day, like “The gym is crowded tonight.

I’ll come back tomorrow.” And while most self-talk

in adults tends to be silent, speaking to yourself out loud

also falls into this category. In fact, psychologists believe our first

experiences with self-talk are mostly vocal, as children often speak to themselves

out loud as they play. In the 1930s, Russian psychologist

Lev Vygotsky hypothesized that this kind of speech was

actually key to development. By repeating conversations

they’ve had with adults, children practice managing their behaviors

and emotions on their own. Then, as they grow older, this outward

self-talk tends to become internalized, morphing into a private inner dialogue. We know this internal self-talk

is important, and can help you plan,

work through difficult situations, and even motivate you throughout the day. But studying self-talk can be difficult. It relies on study subjects clearly

tracking a behavior that’s spontaneous and often done without conscious control. For this reason, scientists are still

working to answer basic questions, like, why do some people

self-talk more than others? What areas of the brain are activated

during self-talk? And how does this activation differ

from normal conversation? One thing we know for certain, however, is that what you say in these

conversations can have real impacts on your attitude and performance. Engaging in self-talk

that’s instructional or motivational has been shown to increase focus,

boost self-esteem, and help tackle everyday tasks. For example, one study

of collegiate tennis players found that incorporating instructional

self-talk into practice increased their concentration

and accuracy. And just as chatting to a friend

can help decrease stress, speaking directly to yourself may also

help you regulate your emotions. Distanced self-talk is when

you talk to yourself, as if in conversation with another person. So, rather than

“I’m going to crush this exam,” you might think,

“Caleb, you are prepared for this test!” One study found that this kind

of self-talk was especially beneficial for reducing stress

when engaging in anxiety-inducing tasks, such as meeting new people

or public speaking. But where positive self-talk can help you,

negative self-talk can harm you. Most people are critical

of themselves occasionally, but when this behavior gets too frequent

or excessively negative, it can become toxic. High levels of negative self-talk

are often predictive of anxiety in children and adults. And those who constantly blame themselves

for their problems and ruminate on those situations typically experience

more intense feelings of depression. Today, there’s a field

of psychological treatment called cognitive behavioral therapy,

or CBT, which is partially focused on regulating

the tone of self-talk. Cognitive behavioral therapists

often teach strategies to identify cycles of negative thoughts and replace them with neutral

or more compassionate reflections. Over time, these tools can improve

one's mental health. So the next time you find yourself

chatting with yourself, remember to be kind. That inner voice is a partner you’ll be

talking to for many years to come.