Is Happiness a boy or a girl?

Is Happiness a boy or a girl?

I was asked this sometime in primary school, for a little piece of homework, to practice our creative writing.

That text is lost beneath a pile of drawings, homework and school memorabilia that my mum holds in her attic, just about the same size and weight as a baby elephant.

Nowadays it's just a memory revived during family gatherings when the conversation turns to nostalgia, or when the parents want to play the game of "My Child is Better Than Yours". I'm usually passively listening to all of this, but something always catches my attention: My mum always recalls my conclusion - it is neither a boy nor a girl.

I can imagine what young me described.

Happiness is not a boy nor a girl. Happiness is both and all that's in between. Happiness is the smell of fresh baked goods on a cold morning. Happiness is a starry sky on a summer night. Happiness is the last bell of the last class before the school holidays. Happiness is finding a shiny pokemon card. Happiness is gathering colourful seashells. Happiness is cuddling your family while you watch the same comedy film you've watched a million times and still find it funny. Happiness is your first kiss. Happiness is the smell of a new comic book. Happiness is finding the hidden chocolate in the corner cupboard. Happiness is finding that extra sweet popcorn at the cinema. Happiness is holding a purring cat. Happiness is the first bike ride without wheels or injuries. Happiness is your favourite song come on the radio. Happiness is seeing your mum's car turn into the McDonald's drive through. Happiness is staying late on Christmas. Happiness is my mother's laughter and my Nan's hugs.

Young me probably listed all of these things and more.

So whilst the parents argue and spill wine over whether my cousin's painting is more or less special than my homework, I think. What would I answer if asked nowadays?

At 31 years of age, is Happiness still the same? Is it a man, or a woman?

As you grow happiness is harder to spot, it fades into the same colours as the background, hard to find. Leaving us all searching for it. Just like when I lose my glasses every morning as I rush to work. Have you seen my Happiness? I swear I left it here.

It hides behind the sofa and sneaks under folded clothes. I'd like to think we all find our Happiness in end, along with our Tupperware lids and sock pairs.

So what would my Happiness look like nowadays? A lot of what my young self wrote still applies and still fills me with warmth, but it has gained additions throughout the years. My Happiness grew, believe it or not.

Happiness is all it was before and more. Happiness is waking up fresh an hour before you meant to. Happiness is having the final sassy word on an email chain. Happiness is opening your mailbox and seeing no bills. Happiness is looking in the mirror and embracing your body. Happiness is a road with no traffic. Happiness is waking up without a hangover. Happiness is forgetting then remembering Monday is a bank holiday. Happiness still is finding hidden chocolate in the corner cupboard. Happiness is never having to change a tyre. Happiness is getting an unexpected refund. Happiness is having free time for a hobby. Happiness is binge-watching Netflix. Happiness is having a laughing fit with your other half. Happiness is having the perfect effortless selfie. Happiness is drawing flawless symmetrical cat-eyes. Happiness is not having any laundry to do. Happiness is playing with your leg hair in the winter. Happiness is stepping out of an aeroplane in a new country. Happiness is the doorbell sound when you've ordered takeaway. Happiness is lazy Sundays with the one you love.

True Happiness is finding your Happiness in all of these moments, no matter what colour it changes to, no matter what shape it takes, no matter where it hides. True Happiness is being able to know exactly where it is at all times.

So to answer the question, is Happiness a boy or a girl?

Happiness is a Chameleon. And a naughty one at that.