Intention Favors the Bold

I turned 50 years old in December, just a few weeks before the end of 2020. The morning of my half-century birthday, I sat down to get a head start on setting New Year’s Resolutions. After some thought, I decided I wouldn’t set “resolutions” for 2021 after all. I would examine how I had lived my “first” 50 years and then I would set intentions, not resolutions, for my “next” 50.

My retrospective on living half a century was a mixed bag of “I haven’t done anything with my life” and “I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had.” At 50 years old I was a single mom of two teenagers, working two jobs, living mostly paycheck to paycheck. And although I claimed it wasn’t the biggest problem in my life, I was overweight and out of shape. I was a middle-aged woman who felt…. well, middle everything.

I had zero motivation or desire for a mid-life crisis. That wasn’t what I was after and what would I do anyway if it was? COVID-19 made traveling difficult and social activities hard to come by. I couldn’t afford a new sports car or a wardrobe makeover. And I didn’t have the energy to attend my niece’s yoga classes, in person or on Zoom, let alone start a radical new diet and exercise program.

Don’t get me wrong. I was not “unhappy.” My kids and I had so far escaped contracting COVID-19. I still had a job (two, actually - remember?) I was meditating daily and received a lot of peace and inner joy from that practice. I was also meeting weekly with 3 of my 6 siblings (yes 6!) for our own version of a “family support group”. Compared to many others during the pandemic, life was good for me.

Unfortunately, I had a bad habit of comparing myself to the other side of the pendulum. I compared myself to those that did not have to work two jobs - or even one - and was even envious of those that were furloughed during the pandemic and had time at home to spend with their families or pick up a new hobby. I compared myself to those beautiful women that were 50 and looked 35 (I was of the 50 and looked 50 variety). I compared myself to those middle-aged women who were slim and fit and had no trouble bending their bodies in any number of yoga poses as if they were 20-year-old non-arthritic athletes.

That wasn’t me. Not even close.

All comparisons aside, I decided to focus on the positive and appreciate my many years of experiences and the life I had lived to that point. The good memories outweighed the bad, and I vowed to set my sails with the wind of 50 years behind me and the vast expanse of another 50 years of possibilities before me. Whatever lay in store for me in these next 50 years, I was determined to live them fully, with intent.

I wanted to keep these “next” 50 years’ intentions simple. I didn’t want to confine myself with explicit details or task-oriented intentions that would be finished at a certain point. Intentions that spelled out every step would leave no room for the freedom of improvisation and that wasn’t how I wanted to live my post-50 years.

By the time you are 50, you ought to be able to do whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you feel like it, right? I wanted to embrace the “I’m too old to care” mentality. I intended to live boldly and banish "middle everything" from my life indefinitely.

I decided to come up with no more than 5 short, verb-led phrases that I could adapt in any number of ways throughout the next 50 years. I would write them on a card and memorize them. Once this was decided and I sat down to create my 5 “intentions,” they came quickly, as if formed in my mind and heart long before.

Personal though they may be, I will share them with you now. They are:

Be love.

Show compassion to all.

Act when inspiration comes.

Care for mind, body, and soul.

Serve.

You might say, “But those aren’t specific. They aren’t measurable. They aren’t time bound. And they don't seem very... BOLD."

Exactly!

Perhaps it’s the rebel in me that desires to prove “S.M.A.R.T.” goals unnecessary. Perhaps it's the mutineer inside of me that desires to prove "BOLD" doesn't always mean daring and audacious. Or perhaps it’s the wisdom I’ve gained in my 50 years of living in my own skin that birthed these simple intentions from hand to paper.

I don’t want to be so obsessed with accomplishments that I forget the way I want to live my life or the kind of person I want to be. These 5 simple actions will provide direction and purpose and remind me that it’s not checking items off a goal list that brings lasting joy and exquisite pleasure.

It’s the quiet, unassuming boldness of intentionally living a life of love, compassion, inspiration, care, and service that allows true wellness to flow into our lives as we sojourn on this earth together.

Join me.