In 2021, I will show up for all the experiences.

Dear Kelley,

You are about to embark on the greatest year of your life. I know, I know—you’ve heard me say this to you a dozen times. It’s still true, and I will likely say this again next year because I love you so much.

Here are a few mantras that got you through 2020 in case you need them in 2021:

• Your perception matters.
• We aren’t going back to normal; we’re building a new world.
• Allow your grief to flow.
• Sound is a change agent.
• See. Acknowledge. Accept. Neutralize. Integrate.
• Cook when you’re activated.
• Midwife your emotions. You are your own doula.
• Playful Curiosity.

I’d list the artists that kept you sane and helped you find your way, but there are too many. Just know that string music is home, podcasts are healing, and binge-worthy tv shows are as delicious as a fresh comforter out of the dryer.

Kelley, the one thing I want for you this year is to show up for the experiences. That’s it. Experiences are the point; they are the ultimate collectors item in our human lives.

Sometimes you have a tendency to be so committed to documenting an experience that you miss the essence of the experience entirely. This is an ego tendency—a characteristic of your stubborn inner masculine—and a nuanced way to avoid surrendering to the present moment.

I imagine my/our internal masculine as Red Forman chillin’ in the corner of the room with his arms crossed—stubborn and convinced the rules he’s held me/us accountable to is the best way forward because it’s effectively worked for 30 years.

Don’t mind me. Personifying my current inner masculine is the easiest way to approach him in a playful, curious way. I wonder how you’ll describe your inner masculine and feminine a year from now. I can’t help but hope that Red Forman evolves into a cross between Jason Segal and Jason Mraz.

I’m reminding you of good ol’ Red so that when you feel the dissonance of surrendering in the moment because you’re not reaching for your notebook to write something down, you can see it for what it is. Dissonance. Noise. Static. All that is, is you energetically finding a frequency to settle into. It’s no different than finding a radio station in the car. Get curious and observe the gobbledegook. After a while it won’t feel as squirrelly.

Remember, your internal feminine likes spontaneity, to dance, write, and play. Getting through the gobbledegook static of surrendering is essential for her to thrive.

Say ‘yes’ a lot in 2021. Say ‘no’ a lot, too. When you’re faced with a decision, ask your body what it wants. Your body will always have the answer for you (eventually); everything you need is already inside of you.

It will take patience, balance, and integrity to maintain a daily practice of showing up for yourself and I know you’ll do beautifully.

Cheers to you, Kelley, and your year ahead. I can’t wait to see where we are a year from now. I love you so much.

Love, Kelley

PS: In 2018, you penned your ‘why’ statement (below) and I want you to know that it remains relevant. The seeds you planted in 2018 (and every year) are still growing, my love.

To brave the wilderness, trust my gut, and rise strong so that I can be a daring leader and live a wholehearted life.

(Now is your chance to giggle at how heavy with Brene Brown vernacular this statement is. Shout out to Brene who provided me with a safe framework and language to start understanding my internal jungle in a deeper way back in 2017.)