If You Don’t Have a Seat at the Table, You’re on the Menu

We’ve all heard the phrase “having a seat at the table.” It’s a tidy metaphor, one that seems almost quaint until you realize what’s at stake. Because here’s the truth no one likes to admit: if you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu. You’re part of the discussion only in the sense that decisions are being made about you, not with you.

Inclusion isn’t just a feel-good slogan for HR posters. It’s the difference between people having a say in their future and watching from the sidelines as decisions are made that impact their careers, their lives, and their sense of belonging. Not having a seat means you’re an afterthought, collateral in someone else’s plan, a name on an org chart that people shuffle around without a second thought.

If you think this doesn’t apply to you, think again. Every workplace, no matter how progressive or “flat,” has tables you’re either at or left out of. If you’re in a position of power, ask yourself who’s missing from your table. And if you’re feeling like you’re stuck on the menu—well, it’s time to demand that seat. Because waiting for an invitation? That’s just a recipe for getting eaten alive.

What Does “Having a Seat at the Table” Really Mean?

Having a seat at the table is more than a literal invitation to a meeting. It’s about having influence. It’s being in the room where decisions are made, where strategies are set, and where people’s careers are decided. It’s about having a voice that isn’t just heard but respected and factored into the final decision.

Too often, workplaces are full of “mini-tables,” cliques of people who make calls in the backroom, who invite their chosen few to discuss issues that impact everyone. The rest? They’re left piecing together what’s happening, trying to make sense of half-baked policies and strategies handed down from on high. The people left out of these rooms aren’t just excluded from one meeting—they’re excluded from the process of shaping the workplace itself.

And here’s the reality: when you’re not part of the decision-making process, you’re subject to decisions that may not have your best interests in mind. It’s like being a piece of meat in someone else’s meal plan. Sure, you’re “involved,” but only as much as it serves someone else’s vision. If that sounds harsh, well, that’s because it is.

Why Not Having a Seat at the Table Puts You on the Menu

If you’re not at the table, you’re vulnerable. Here’s why being on the outside isn’t just a slight—it’s a risk.

1. You’re Left Out of Key Decisions: If you’re not in the room, you don’t know what’s really going on. Plans are made without your input, and policies are set without considering how they’ll impact you. The result? You’re constantly reacting to decisions you had no say in, left trying to make sense of choices that were never explained.
2. Your Interests Aren’t Represented: When you’re not at the table, it’s easy for your needs, challenges, and aspirations to be overlooked. People might assume they know what’s best for you, but without your voice, they’re just making educated guesses. And let’s be real—those guesses rarely serve anyone, but the people already seated comfortably around that table.
3. You’re Viewed as “Expendable”: It’s a hard pill to swallow, but people who aren’t part of the decision-making process are often seen as replaceable. When you’re not involved in shaping the company’s direction, it’s easier for those in power to make decisions that impact you without a second thought. Out of sight, out of mind.
4. You Miss Out on Growth Opportunities: The best opportunities in any workplace are usually decided at the table. When promotions, raises, or exciting projects come up, the people seated at the table are the ones who get first dibs. If you’re on the outside, you’re left hoping for scraps—if there are any left at all.
5. You’re at the Mercy of Other People’s Assumptions: When people don’t hear your voice, they start making assumptions. Maybe they think you’re not interested, that you don’t have anything valuable to add, or that you’re fine with things as they are. Whatever the assumption, it’s rarely accurate. But without a seat, you’re stuck with how others see you, whether it’s true or not.

How to Get That Seat at the Table

So, what do you do if you’re tired of being on the menu? Here’s how to fight for that seat and make sure your voice is part of the conversation.

1. Speak Up, Even If It’s Uncomfortable: Waiting quietly to be invited to the table won’t work. You have to make your presence known. Speak up in meetings, ask questions, and show that you’re interested in contributing. Assert your value, even if it feels uncomfortable. If people don’t know you’re hungry for that seat, they’ll never think to offer it.
2. Build Allies and Connections: Sometimes, getting a seat at the table is about who you know. Connect with people who are already there, and let them know you’re interested in being part of the process. Building relationships with decision-makers isn’t about schmoozing—it’s about showing them that you have something valuable to contribute.
3. Prove Your Value: If you’re consistently delivering great work, people will start to notice. Go beyond just doing your job; show initiative, bring solutions to the table, and demonstrate why your voice matters. Make yourself so indispensable that leaving you out feels like a mistake.
4. Ask for Inclusion: Sometimes, it really is as simple as asking. Go to your manager, team lead, or whomever is running the show and tell them directly that you want to be part of the decision-making process. Ask what it would take to get that seat. Be direct, be honest, and make it clear that you’re willing to put in the work to get there.
5. Stay Visible: Don’t just sit back and hope for your work to speak for itself. Make sure people see you, know your contributions, and understand your value. Take credit where it’s due, remind people of your achievements, and keep your name circulating among those in power.

For Those Already at the Table: Look Around

If you’re one of the lucky few who already has a seat, ask yourself who’s missing. Are there voices that aren’t represented? People whose perspectives could add real value to the conversation. Inclusion isn’t just about opening the door—it’s about actively inviting people in, pulling up chairs, and making room.

Inclusion doesn’t mean filling quotas or doing it because it “looks good.” It means building a table that reflects the diversity, intelligence, and creativity of the entire team. When you make room for new voices, you’re not just being fair—you’re making your decisions better. You’re making your company stronger. Don’t just guard your seat; use it to make space for others.

Don’t Settle for the Sidelines

In the end, having a seat at the table isn’t about ego or prestige. It’s about control over your career, your opportunities, and your future. It’s about making sure your voice counts, and your perspective is part of the plan. Don’t settle for a spot on the menu. Demand that seat, fight for it, and bring everything you’ve got to that table when you get there.

If you’re feeling sidelined, it’s time to take action. Advocate for yourself, assert your value, and refuse to be reduced to an afterthought. And if you’re already seated comfortably, look around. Make room for others, because a real leader doesn’t just take a seat—they build a bigger table.

So don’t wait for permission, don’t settle for crumbs, and don’t let anyone decide your fate for you. If you’re not at the table, you’re not in the game. And if you’re not in the game, well—you’re just part of someone else’s plan. Take control. Pull up that chair. And make sure you’re part of the conversation, not just the outcome.