I Lost My Will to Write, or (Temporarily) Misplaced It.

For two years, I was writing consistently and publishing at least two to three articles a week on Medium, my blog, and (eventually) Vocal. However, my desire to write dissolved somewhere along the way. I have no idea why or how it happened, but I'm worried about how slow the want to write is to return.

Looking back at my articles, the dip in my writing/publishing articles happened somewhere before I went to Ireland, and it makes sense. That was my first solo adventure overseas, and I used it for "me time." However, did I learn something that has steered me away from writing while I was away?

For weeks, I kept returning to this question and had no answers. Was I treating writing too much like a second job? Do I feel defeated that I believe no one likes what I publish? Am I (re)learning that dreams don't come true?

Travel makes me feel the most alive and happy and electrifies my senses and imagination. I have had similar experiences with skydivers who "yearn for the next jump."

Sorry skydiving enthusiasts, but I didn't get that desire when I jumped out of a plane. Still, I completely understand the feeling of getting on a plane. However, I prefer hearing the pilot announce, "You have arrived at your destination," vs. "It's jump time."

I remember the days when I could not wait to return home from work and click away at the keyboard. I'd cook dinner, have a nice conversation with the hubs, write for an hour, then tuck myself into bed reading a book. Weekends turned into my writing playground. I'd wake up on a Saturday morning, queue up the lofi music or cafe jazz, and write for hours. By Sunday, I had a queue of articles ready for the next month. I remember jotting down ideas on my lunch break for the month's writing challenges I was intersted in submitting.

Now, I open my drafts, cringe at the keyboard, and end up closing them after just a few minutes. Before I know it, I'm back on my couch, reading another book, or swiping through what's been released on Amazon Prime. I always think about writing, yet the want, feel, desire, yearning, and plan to write has left me.

Is this my body and mind telling me I need a break? Am I coping with some underlying issues that I need to face? Even writing this article has been a struggle, as it's the first I have written in a long time.

A common question people are asked when they are diagnosed with depression is "Have you lost interest in things you used to enjoy?"

It should be obvious, but yes...duh, but I've been diagnoised (and coping) with major depression and anxiety for years, so...OPS NORMAL? However, I have only lost interest in my writing. I still love traveling, living my RV life, and reading in the fresh air. I've even learned a new appreciation for kettlebells and started to get the itch to workout again! Reflecting on all of those pluses, I cannot help but believe my "lack of interest in writing" seems to be deeper. But, what is it and why?

Have I found that my happiness traveling trumps my desire to write?

Have I given up as a writer?

Will my desire to write (and finish my books) ever return?

Have you experienced this or found you can relate? If so, let's chat about it! Post your ideas, thoughts, and advice below. After all, you may not be helping just me through this struggle but others who might relate.