I failed at my New Year's Resolution and I feel great.

Changing your goals is not a sign of failure, its a sign a maturity. It shows a level of personal insight and enlightenment to have the humility and courage to pivot on your journey.

We are just about through two months of 2022 and I decided to check in on my progress to achieving my New Year's Resolution. You know what? I decided it was time for me to throw it out the window.

According to a study by Discover Happy Habits, by February 64% of those who made a New Years Resolution are still on track and after six months only 4% are still trucking away at their goals. It was noted that the majority of people 'fail' at their resolutions for one of the following reasons: they were unrealistic, they didn't keep track, they forgot, and some people just make too many.

Well, here I am at the end of February deciding to leave my resolution in the dust for none of those reasons.

In a culture of 'self-help' and 'personal improvement' New Year's resolutions have become more an obligation rather than a deep rooted need or desire to improve yourself. In January of 2022, I looked at my life and said, "What is one place I would like to see improvement?" Well, that place was in my achievement of goals (kind of ironic, given that I'm deciding not to complete the goal).

I'm very good at starting and working on projects, I LOVE projects. I have demoed walls in out house, I've started four or five (maybe more like 15) novels. The thing I'm not great at is completing those projects. I tend to complete 98% of my goal and then move onto the next one. So, in 2022 I decided to focus on one aspect of my life and was determined to finish each thing I started. My 2022 New Year's Resolution:

To finish every book I start reading.

At the start of the year I had about twelve books that I was actively recommending to people that I myself had never actually finished. Not for lack of trying. Something better would just come along that I needed to start reading or the vacation would end and I needed to jump back into real-life. So, in 2022 I decided that I would finish every book that I started.

Book 1.

I should have known that after book one that this resolution would be the bane of my existence. It was like pulling teeth to get myself to read the entirety of that book because it was so bad. I'm not going to share the title out of resect for the author, and because the idea of the book was good. It's just, as a writer myself I tend to read much beyond the simple plot line and character arches and dive into the meat of the story, and let me tell you that story had no meat. The heart of it was a teen girl who was whining about her terrible situations, constantly having the same internal conversation about the death of her mother, and so many underdeveloped characters. It was terrible. It was. But my resolution was to finish each book that I started, so I finished it. Then I realize it was book one of three and I debated whether my resolution expanded to include finishing the series. In the end I decided no.

Books 2-11

After that fiasco I did a little more research on which books I was picking up, but still the terrible experience repeated itself.

I'm sure I'm not the only writer who has trouble reading through other people's work, and it's no fault but our own for having different perspectives and opinions about structure and the overall writing standards.

The issue was, halfway through February I found myself not wanting to read anymore. I was scared to pick up a book because what if I didn't enjoy it, and I was bound to finish it because of the resolution?

I realized something I should have always known, a resolution is supposed to help improve yourself, not make you scared to do the things you love. It was a hard truth to realize that in trying to do something to improve myself I was actually pushing away something that I used to take joy in. When I gave myself permission to 'fail' at my resolution a weight was lifted.

I didn't give up completely. I knew I still wanted to work on finishing that last 2% of anything that I had ever started, but I refocused my resolution and if I was in the middle of a book and about to close it I have to stop and ask myself if I'm not finishing it because of something better or because of the book itself. That way I'm not just falling back into laziness or that pattern of not finishing because something better comes along.

In a way, it was the best learning experience I could have asked for this year and in the end I've finished more books in the past two months than I finished last year alone, I've just also given myself permission to put down the ones that don't transport me like books should.

I learned that you have to give yourself permission to refocus your goals. To change your goal to something different after having tried it for a short season isn't failing, its a sign of growth. Don't let the confines of the cultural expectations tie you to something that in the end pulls you away from being who you are and doing what you love.