How To Lose The 5 Main Things That Lower Your Self-Esteem

We are the only ones who know what actually lowers our self-esteem, but if we want it in just one word, we would need to change our routine HABITS!

The daily habits that we cling to for security, and use over and over without even thinking, are what keeps us cemented to either low self-esteem or confident self-assurance. To get rid of the worst ones, you need to examine which habits you use for the following key aspects of your life:

1. Your focus of attention: Do you tend to notice only the mistakes you make, or the things that go wrong? Or notice your supposed weaknesses while ignoring your strengths? Those habits would be all negative and would do nothing to uplift or motivate you. Start focusing on your positive attributes (we all have some). Begin the process of self-appreciation, and try to affirm yourself and your successes as often as you can to remind yourself of what you are capable of. Replace anger and resentment with positivity. Change your habit of just seeing the negatives in your life, and being resentful of what isn’t working for you. Focus more on gratitude, appreciation and valuing others. Don’t take loved ones for granted, otherwise they won't be there when you need them most. Try to be more understanding, trusting and encouraging and people are likely to treat you the same.

2. Belief in your abilities and competencies: Do you tend to dismiss what you're good at and pretend that everyone else is better than you? That's a habit to ditch immediately because everyone has their own strengths. You are as good as everyone else. You simply need to build that self-belief by getting the necessary knowledge and training to boost your skills/qualifications, where needed. Self-belief is the most powerful attribute to carry you through life because it affirms your worthiness, your value, and your talents. It also encourages others to value you, too. If you keep putting yourself down, how can anyone else respect or appreciate you?

3. The vocabulary you use: What kind of words do you usually use when you speak to yourself and others? Are they just negative words that make you feel awful? Words that make you feel worthless and undervalued? Are they mainly gloomy words that do nothing for your spirit and motivation? Change that habit today! Our language defines us, so words are very powerful to express how we feel about ourselves and how we see the world. Start using words that extend your abilities and warm you with appreciation, instead of words that put you down. Make your words more positive and focused and they will work better for you.

4. Feeling of insecurity, desire to control: You are probably full of fear, which is the basis of low self-esteem. Yet, if all you do is fear without trusting, how can you feel good about life or yourself? Try to encourage more flexibility in your routine actions. Stop trying to control everything you do and just let go in faith and trust that everything will be all right, if you do your best and let life do its own thing. Life will always please itself when you are busy making plans and trying to control everything. Just think of natural disasters, how they make nonsense of the best laid plans. Ditch the habit of limited thinking and dream outside your narrow box at what is possible for you.

5. Way of doing things: Do you tend to cling to one kind of approach so that you do not leave your comfort zone? There are many different paths to the same end. Leave your limited way of seeing and acting and try to widen your horizons. Change your routine actions and do something different each day. Why not join clubs, dating sites, learn new skills, read more, take up a sport, or create something new, for example? New activities help you to meet new people, they increase your enjoyment of life and give you a sense of achievement and satisfaction. They also allow you to get out of your negative mode and begin to appreciate yourself and your life in a much more fulfilling way. Detach yourself from your rigid comfort zone and take up challenges in the areas you like.

When I was rather ill a few years ago, I started a meet-up group for others on their own mainly to motivate myself to get out of my flat to see people and to have company to attend events. It grew to 300 members in the space of three years and changed the lives of quite a few of them who met other friends and partners, including myself who met my current partner in it! Even though I did it for my own health reasons, the unexpected effect it had on others, too, was tremendous. So try something new each week, or each month, and see what you have achieved by the end of a year. You could really amaze yourself.

In essence, you don't even have to lose anything in your life to raise your self-esteem. You merely need to change your old or negative habits in the areas mentioned above, or the ones that are not really working for you, and see the gradual difference!

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